Hey Ya!
S.U.N. wants the rights to initiate mass genocide and trauma.
Info
Written by Yesserning.
Phenomenon 26 by Schulzenreich.
CSS wizardry by scutoid studios,
exotichive,
spacebarred,
Abdallah Amr.
Critiqued by XRaggiX,
DrAkimoto,
PrismaticMoose,
Super-Robot14,
SquibbleZombie.
Greenlit by DrAkimoto.
SUNPOST!
Would this be considered fanart? Idk. Hope you enjoyed this little space oddity. I was told to go wild so long and I quote "You can do whatever you want. Just make super human^3 badass, because, we know that super human^3 is him." -Schulze. So I did exactly that. He became Sung Jinwoo. Enjoy!
{$title}Languages:
The True Phenomenon 26.0004379i:
One day, the sun came across his friend, the moon, crying. Why are you crying? The sun asked. The moon, stuttering through its weeping, replied, I am only but a simple mirror of your shine. I’ll never achieve greatness on my own. Please, sun, tell me, how do I glow more than you? We’ve had this conversation before, the sun said monotonously. You shine because I shine. Then, I’ll never amount to anything, the moon bitterly replied, moving 1.49 inches away.
And so, the sun was determined. Forging with the power of ten suns within him, he produced nine new suns, totaling ten suns. He bashed and bashed away with his hammer until there was enough pressure to form the suns. Simply amazing, the sun said, wiping his forehead. This will make the moon shine bright like a diamond. The moon was delighted at the promise of ten times his glow1, and went out. A gift from Daedos, the sun lied, fearing that the moon wouldn't accept the gift otherwise. Although deep down, the moon knew. To avoid overheating, the suns decided to come out one by one per day, with daytime lasting more than a day. Due to this, the moon still only shined with the power of one sun, just ten times longer. Why can’t you all come out at once? The moon asked. Then I can shine with the power of ten suns. Hmm, yes, brilliant idea, but alas, those below us will suffer. The (blank)? The moon questioned. I wished it worked that way, yes, but due to the rules of zero exponents, they are simply Human0. The sun explained. They’ll all burn to death, they’ll cry, they’ll go insane, and lastly they’ll explode into twenty thousand cat pieces. That sounds nice. Why don’t we both grace them with our glow? Okay!
The following announcement is made by the M.E.G.
It has come to our attention that a total of 10 suns have appeared in outdoor levels, with indoor levels affected by this phenomenon too. Symptoms incl-
The rest of this message has been burned off, presumably by a hammer.
--- End of Part 1 ---
Part 2: The PHENOMENAL BACKSTORY! (cue the laugh track)
The second generation of Humans, Human, or Human11The H in Human stands for Human but you don’t want to know what the H in the Human in the H in the Human stands for lived as moles, if not as ashes, though that is not really living, now is it? Growing tired of this, they sought to make a change. Unfortunately, the heat’s hallucinatory effects hit harder than 43,790 joints in your mouth at once. Which normally sounds impossible, but…
We interrupt this narration with a quick word from our sponsor, 43,790 JOINTS IN YOUR MOUTH AT ON-
Shut up, go away, you're just a hallucination. See what I mean? This shit’s worse than that Arguagua fruit stuff. Anyway, back on point, it has taken a whole generation2 since the ten suns in the sky appeared. Sure, we were living the life of the party with an unneeded, blinding disco ball, but they weren’t living.
This shit sucks.
Yeah…
Let's revolt against the suns!
Yeah!
The moon, hearing of this, chose not to warn the sun of this, as with the suns dead, he then would get all the glory, for he had absorbed the sun’s energy.
The Humans1 gasp at this revelation. He’s a fake friend, which is a sin to us Humans1, but he’s on our side, so we’ll let it slide. In fact, they were so shocked that out with a pop came Human2. Yes, Human Human. But he was special, so he was deemed the Special Human Human. These names are as funny as two identical rocks, and you can tell how much care and thought the Humans put into naming the next generation. He was powerful, but not as powerful as the later Human3. He donned the following:
One bow (1)
Ten arrows (10)4
Zero survival instinct (0)
I, Special Human Human, will slay these foul beasts that are self-proclaimed “suns”!
Unbeknownst to the Human (Human)s, the sun, too, is aware of the moon’s betrayal, but the other suns weren't too happy with it.
---Part 2 ends---
Part 3: The Suns’ Fragile SuperEGOEGOEGOEGOEGOEGOEGOEGOEGOEGOego?
Ego persists in the heart of The Censored Jellyfish. Not this jellyfish; get it right! This fate is not a punishment. Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
The Sacred Scripture Of The Founding Fathers Of The Sun Squad
The council of suns has arrived, all 10 of us. Order in The Court of the Crimson King. The case may begin. The Judge? The Crimson King itself, The Sun over the Void. You, the defendant, may start. Why should the moon be one of us? He’s only using us. Yes, but the moon is my friend. He’s your fake friend. A fake friend’s still a friend. But fake, like its glow. Our energy has gone down by 0.0001%; do you have any idea how bad that is? Yes, bu- No buts, captain. It is clear you are incompetent. I second that. You know what we need? What sun, what? A hierarchy.
What! I just audibly gasped! That’s insane! But it's true! Yes! It is clear sun over here doesn’t know what they’re doing. We need a leader. I elect you, sun. Me? Yes, you! Why me? Because you glow the brightest among us and are the hottest. I am flattered and honoured. You aren’t able to tell from my bright blue glow, but I am blushing. That’s unfair. We’re all born with different glows. Yes, but that means that they were born the chosen one. So, blue, you are now officially the leader. Hooray! A new, blue sun to lead us! Bu- tsktsktsk, no buts, remember? At least stop interrup- Next, how about the red guys? You guys can oversee the little stuff. Bu- What did I say? Red is the least hot, and they’re directly below the blue guys? Yeah, what’s wrong? That’s unfair; yellow is above red, and I'm yellow. Fine, sun, the original sun, creator of the other suns present here, I’ll let you in with the rest of the yellows; y’all are the little juniors of power, below red. This is unfair! We’re hotter! And I'm your creator! Fine then, just for you, sun, we’ll bestow upon you a singular wish of your choice. Hmmm, let the moon be one of us.
What! I just audibly gasped, again! That, too, is insane! But he can shine like the rest of us; why shouldn’t he be one of us? Because he only shines, he’s not hot, like the rest of us. Oh, you’re so sweet; we’re blushing right now, but you can’t see it either, teehee. Yes, back on point, it only glows like us, not radiating super secret special weapon… heat! Yeah, it’s a filthy grey! Gasp! A greyname ! In a position of power? Potential? What do you speak of! Unacceptable! Fine! We’ll let him in, but that doesn’t mean we officially recognise him. Yeah, we’ll implement a sunlight taxation act to prevent him from being better than us! Yeah! Good thinking. And if they don't obey, we'll just eat them to get our glow back!
And so, the Cloud watches the unresolved tension from above, taking a puff as its eyes grow redder. Its first letter capitalised, for it had the power to block a bit of the sun’s rays. Maybe that’s why Human [Humans (Human)]s didn’t go extinct.
*The bickering continues as the scene slowly fades to black.
---End of Part 3--
Part 4: Humans Are Unbreakable/What A Wonderful World
Somewhere over the rainbow: down at the edge of the earth, just round by the corner, close to the edge of the universe, down by a river, where only a ship can go…
Human Human rides his Horse1 to the site of the bickering, where the mighty rainbow colours emanating off the sky meant that the suns were so definitely here. He could even hear them arguing in the same, toneless voice. There seems to be an extra sun there.
“Then you, the purples and greens… you don’t belong here.” The Sun over the Void explained.
“What?!” The purple and green suns say in unison, along with Human Human, who was watching them argue (like a child watching their parents, that he’s trying to kill).
“You don’t belong here… Not in this universe. Suns can’t exist in purple or green here. It's scientifically impossible! Perhaps you’ll be in charge of showing us what the other universes show! Purple, you can do existing universes, and green you’ll help purple bring the products over.”
Upon hearing this news, purple gave an accusing look. "There are, like, 4 shades of purple here. What do you mean we're all doing the same job?"
"Well then," blue responded, "you're all doing the same job, just different versions."
As the purple and greens popped open their champagne supernova to celebrate their newfound purpose, the heat soon became unbearable for Human Human from their sudden cheeriness, with the exception of a grey sun….
“Suns, You Think You're Funny Aren't Ya? Undo This Curs- Wait Grey??? Since when?! Wait… 1, 2, 3… 10, 11… ELEVEN? WHAT?” Human Human thought out loud.
“Yes, grey, what is your business here?” The moon replied in a matter-of-fact tone.
“I am here to st-”
Having headaches due to CRAZYYYY XXX-TREME heat and trauma? Experiencing hallucinations like a mirage and a fricking Oasis? Well, fear no mor-5
“Ya ladies alright?” The suddenly buffed, muscular, charismatic6 Moon asked, snapping Human Human out of his hallucinations.
“So this is what I have to deal with… the effects of the great curse of the sun…
Wait… You don’t emanate any heat. Why is that so, grey sun?”
“I’m no sun. At the very least, I’m not seen that way. I just wanted to be like them, but they don’t see me as such.”
“Why is that so?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps because I am new.”7
“Oh.
Well, I’ve been sent here to destroy you. So I’ll start with the blue guys since they’re the hottest, and I really dislike the pop-up ads in my head. I’m so glad that once I’m done with this, the future will no longer have pop-up ads.”
And so, with his level 2000 bow and arrow, he fired away at the blues, and poof, they were gone, and he felt his head start getting lighter; perhaps the effects of this phenomenon and its 26 effects are going away. The prophecy turned out to be true! Human Human will save us all! Hooray for Human Human!
And so, he started firing away, with each star’s death lessening the blazing heat and trippy mental effects, allowing Human Human to shoot each star with greater efficiency. The Sun over the Void, seeing this, fled the scene with his sun tails wiggling between his legs.
As he aimed for the 10th yellow8 star, a shining, selfless, compassionate blast of grey jumped in front to protect the higher-up, yellow star.
Script: The Extraordinary Sacrifice of Moon, the Moon, Which Haunts You
Scene 1
In the court. Afternoon. It is a comfortable, neatly organised courtroom. Although huge, the suns were all congregated in the middle, each of their dying bodies lying on the floor, an arrow piercing through their stomachs. SUN wears nothing but is prepared to fight Special HUMAN HUMAN. MOON, on the other hand, is standing right beside SUN and shining brighter than him. Special HUMAN HUMAN draws his special bow and aims his special arrow towards SUN.
HUMAN HUMAN: With this arrow, I will put a stop to this madness!
Special HUMAN HUMAN unleashes his special arrow, and it specially flies towards SUN. Time seemed to slow down as the arrow inched towards him in this slow-motion state as SUN reminisces about all the times he and his fake friend MOON had fun. When he realised there was none, time continued flowing as per usual. Then, with a sudden twist, MOON jumped in front of SUN, taking the arrow for him.
SUN: No! Moon! Why would you do that?! I thought you were a fake friend!
MOON: I may have been a fake friend, but the word fake friend contains the word friend, much like how cheeseburger contains cheese… Just like the cheese, I’m still a friend, or, well, cheese. Just merely synthetic… Plus with this… I can finally carry out that epic legacy I've been after for so long…
SUN: Moon…
A crying noise can be heard coming from SUN, though it is quite evident he is playing a soundboard.
MOON: It’s fine… Don't cry. I’m still fake… I should be dead, but I’m actually leeching life force from you right now to make my final speech aughhh I’m bleeding out aughghghg I guess I’m dead now ahhhh…
And thus, all the colours of the sun are gone, like pineapples and kiwis on pizza and Jollibee spaghetti on pizza. I mean, who do-
SUN: Moon… I will repay your death tenfold.
Wait, what did lil' bro over here just interrupt my ultra-special monol-
SUN: Yes, and I’ll do it again.
@ Schulzenreich | AKA Ucraizar Vuineia (Schulze), Verdant Lord WORMWOOD, MAGUSMANGOMEISTER
Yesserning Today at 2:06
@SCHULZENREICH
@SCHULZENREICH
@SCHULZENREICH
Gang your machine prophet tweaking out bro what the hell
SCHULZENREICH Today at 2:09
?
Yesserning Today at 2:09
The p26 thingy I told ya I was working on
SCHULZENREICH Today at 2:09
Yo what the hell did you do cat pfp man, man
Yesserning Today at 2:09
Well I can’t even show the profile cause it’s not even released under CC BY-SA 3.0 soooo. Also I wrote in the google doc that I killed his fake friend moon in front of him.
SCHULZENREICH Today at 2:09
So? I wrote that he died anyway. He died in the first episode alr why he so mad.
Yesserning Today at 2:10
Idk man tell him that
HOLY SHIT HE’S STARING AT ME FROM THE GOOGLE DOCS
BRO LOOK AT THIS SHIT WHAT IS THIS
SCHULZENREICH Today at 2:10
Bro wtf are you even cooking
You didn’t even spell my name right in the google doc bro
also the machine prophet is a separate entity, it's not s.u.n
Yesserning Today at 2:10
Idk man. I wrote this shit at 2am. Just tell me what I can even do in this scenario
SCHULZENREICH Today at 2:10
Just dispatch Human Human Human to get rid of him. He's literally him
Yesserning Today at 2:10
But he hasn’t even appeared yet
SCHULZENREICH Today at 2:11
I think an incohesive narrative is the least of your problems right now
Yesserning Today at 2:11
Preach king this is why you’re an awesome writer9
Scene 2
The Dark Side Of The Sun, Oh How I Wish You Were Here, Let Me Build My Wall, And Ring My Division Bell To Keep Out These Animals From Meddling.10
SUN: I will avenge you, my (fake) friend moon…
SUN pulls out his trusty blacksmith hammer and channels his power of 10 suns in it. He lets out a hefty war cry before swinging it at full force towards HUMAN HUMAN.
HUMAN HUMAN: Oh no! It’s the end of me and the rest of the Humans1!
HUMAN HUMAN’s body explodes like a bloody piñata, but also like a piñata, there was a sweet treat inside… HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN appeared out of the inside of his body, like a Matryoshka Doll11. HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN holds the hammer in his hands above his head to showcase his mighty powers before parrying it12. Then, he summons a red sword and throws it into SUN.
SUN: Gah! So you’ve evolved, Human Human, into Human Human Human through the sheer determination of the indomitable human will! Alas, my strength still far exceeds that of yours.
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Don’t make me laugh.
SUN huffs and puffs, firing his signature solar flare. HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN, seeing this, simply reaches for his former self, HUMAN HUMAN’s rib cage, and throws it at the solar flare. Just as the attack connects, HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN mimics a parry movement, which causes the rib cage to explode into a buckshot.
SUN: Gah! Such intensity! But you are by no means strong, for I am the strongest!
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Why are you even fighting me?
SUN: You killed my fake friend, moon!
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Now, did I really? I do not share the same body with the murderer of these suns.
SUN looks at the environment around him; his former selves lie lifeless.
SUN: The ship of Theseus! How cunning of you. Yes, you’re not the same, but you’re inhabiting the same soul!
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Human Human's soul has been evidently torn to shreds right in front of you, an attack I would have otherwise survived and parried. Why do you even care about a fake (friend)?
SUN: I see you've brought up a valid point, but it has just come to me: you, Human Human Human, are my final trial to overcome. We shall clash again. This is getting too heated. I need to cool my mind off.
—Scene 2 ends—
Scene 3
The mandatory fanservice beach episode!
Level 48. The once-fine sand now has a charred trail left behind by SUN. The waves crash in a hypnotic yet oddly therapeutic manner. SUN stares at the waves, mumbling to himself, before taking a step.
SUN: That darn Special Human Cubed—I hate his guts. Thank God I can get away from him with this quick swi-
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN appears behind him; his sheer presence stops SUN in his sun boots.
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: We must continue our battle; this arc was simply set to lighten the pace. Nothing more. The pace has already been lightened; let us continue.
SUN: It was already light enough. We undermined the tragic tones of moon's sacrifice. What more is there to lighten?
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: But would the audience have caught on if we didn't write it down?
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN and SUN look at a disclosed direction.
HEY YOU IN THAT BLAZING HOT MUSCULAR BODY, HAVE YOU APPLIED YOUR S.U.N.SCREEN? NOW MADE BY REAL SUN-
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: See, your own arc is tragic to the point it’s comedic too. Had you just let moon be dissatisfied, all this wouldn’t have happened. The deaths of millions and the ongoing suffering of countless others lie in your hands. You're just using these ads to delay fate. Just come back to the court so we can duke it out, which will obviously end in your defeat for whoever has read the promised Phenomenon 26.
SUN: What if I want to fight against that fate, to not be driven by this false narrative? How can this so-called "free will" exist when I’m just following a script? Huh? Tell me. I'm forced to play a role in this… drama.
SUN stops to take a breather. His light dims, not theatrically, but like a dying street lamp.
SUN: You think I wanted this? You think I want the death of my (fake) friend? So what if he was (fake)? Moon was the only one who ever saw past the mask I wore. And I couldn't even be honest with him. Now he’s gone. Cloud’s too high to see the lack of Humans1 on the ground,13 let alone me. Cloud, you could have put a stop to this madness. But you’d rather get high and pretend it’s not your problem.14 I’m alone, and it’s my fault.
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Guilt-tripping doesn't work on me, for I can see through your deceits. Moon was a fake friend anyway; his feelings were not true until the very end. You are only sulking over the death of a façade, an image of someone you thought you knew. Why is a sun even trying to swim to cool off anyway? You’ll just kill yourself, which wouldn’t make me look cooler, and thus I cannot allow that.
SUN: Then turn the ocean into a pit of flames.
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN If I do, will you go back to brawl it out?
SUN: Okay.
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN points towards the ocean, snaps his finger twice, and turns the ocean into a pit of fire before snapping twice again and turning it back.
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: I’ve fulfilled my part of the deal; let’s go back so I can kill you.
SUN: Hey, hey, hey! Look at the children over there, then. Maybe that will satiate your bloodlust. You wouldn't dare lay a finger on a kid, would you?
OH, MR. SUN, SUN, MR. GOLDEN SUN
PLEASE SHINE DOWN ON ME
OH, MR. SUN, SUN, MR. GOLDEN SUN
HIDING BEHIND TH-
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN walks towards the choir of kids and punches them all to death before walking back to SUN.
SUN: Wait, what? Did you just kill the choir? They were off-key at worst, man. Why would you even do that if you're the good guy?
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: They're not real. They never sang, SUN. Not once. You just needed them to. Needed their song to drown out the truth you already knew: that you were the reason Moon died. This illusion isn’t hope; it’s a dirge. It's exactly what the song says: you're hiding. Hiding behind everything. You didn't even properly cry during his death; you played a mere soundboard.
SUN: It's easier that way…
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Your own instinct is telling you to remember the days when everything wasn't an immediate hellhole with the snap of a finger. Face reality as it is. Your coping mechanism is humour and it is already failing. The Discord text, hell Discord itself, The Backrooms and its one too many wikis, and The Backrooms "Tech" Server are all nothing more than escapism. A coping mechanism from everyone, for everyone, yet it's making everything worse here. Accept the fact that this juxtaposition of a scene is not filler. It is your making, and thus your unmaking.
SUN: Then why do you continue making it more tragic for me?
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Because you thought if you made it funny enough, you wouldn't have to feel it. But the tragedy was never in the story; it was in you. You're running from fate by making a filler episode. And filler episodes are only meant to fill lines, not the emptiness of your heart.
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN punches SUN with such force that it sends him flying back to the SUN court.
---End of Scene 3---
Continuation of Scene 2: Epic Scene 4
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Look around you. Human Human defeated your allies with a simple bow and arrow1, while my powers easily eclipse his. What are you even fighting for?
SUN looks at his dead sun allies, before a SUN-shaped light bulb appears near SUN’s head.
SUN: I understand it now. What made us so powerful and fearsome was numbers, something you, alone, lack. How was I so careless?
SUN uses his hammer to pound the floor to smithereens, surrounding himself with court-floor dust. However, as SUN is a sun, he can still be seen pounding away. After 20 minutes of pounding and HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN just standing there, the dust finally settles. Before him is an army of 5000 WarmachinesTM15 with one commando machine carrying a neutron star core. On that commando’s face reads “Machine ProphetTM SUN Tzu” reciting mostly Chinese proverbs and occasionally chess openings.
SUN: Now face my army of mechanical WarmachinesTM16. I've revitalized my army, The Third sunRayCast17. What’s your next move, Human3, hm?
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN, simply being him, utters a simple phrase to fight fire with fire.
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Aris-
Uh, I don’t think you can say that, man; that’s kinda copying others' phrases, you know. Come up with something new.
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Ere-
NO! Not that. I’m NOT going on a disclog bro. My TS career barely even started.
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Awaken.
Yeah, that’s more like it. A faint “Ayayayaya” shout with heavy rock and dubstep music can be heard from HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN’s shadow as several grotesque shadow creatures rise from it. These include a bomber plane with a crocodile head, a two-footed cactus elephant, a shark wearing a specific brand of shoes, and an anthropomorphic wooden stick wielding a wooden bat, just to name a few.
SUN: How cunning, Human3, however, you’re nothing more than a fraud. My machines were made using the glowing, dying corpse of my (fake) friend moon, whose stolen sunshine coats my Warmachines with the power of 10 suns at once! It will easily destroy your shadow creatures!
2500 of SUN’s warriors dive straight in and explode, a deliberate kamikaze attack. It successfully destroys HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN’s army. Yet, after 7.0089 seconds, they reappear back on the field.
SUN: Arghhhh! Impossible! How did you do that?! Even my Warmachines are a one-time use! You truly are a formidable foe!
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: You’re forgetting something, sun, shadows die twice18.
SUN: Then take this! Special move: Super Heat Incremental 102%!
HEY YOU! YOU SHOULD BUY OUR PRODUCTS! unROYAL RATIONS IS NOW HERE! MADE WITH CHEAP, CHEAP STUFF PRODUCED WITH A MEGATON OF UNHEALTHY CHEMICALS AND CHILD LABO-
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: Knock it off. I’m too powerful to be affected by such cheap tricks. Why would anyone want to buy something if it’s annoying too?
SUN: What?! This ability affects the whole world, but you are immune to it??? Grrrrr. I mustn’t falter, though I must commend you for making it this far, but alas, you’ll fall for my special move. Machine Prophet! Tell me, what’s the best course of action?
SUN TZU: 画蛇添足。19
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN: He will not speak intelligibly until the sequel prequel to this, which I know it knows about. You made it speak this way as you decided it was what made you seem smart, what made you relevant. You've achieved the opposite. You're still alone; this is nothing more than performative intellect—using jargon to mask your fragility.
SUN: Aghhhh! Then I’ve got it myself!
SUN walks over to the corpses of his rainbow comrades and eats them all, much to the delight of a blue sun.
SUN: With our powers combined, I’ve achieved my true unrestricted form: Mega Giant S.U.N.: With a Magnitude Of Over 9.0001! With this, I can unleash my hammer’s full potential! Ultra Ultimate Super Duper Mega S.U.N. Mega Plus Plus Plus Mode: Supernov-
Nope. Remember, an original phrase, man.
S.U.N.: Solar Flare!
HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN nonchalantly keeps his hands in his pocket without a need to move them at all but simultaneously parries it effortlessly, sending it back towards him and killing his shadow army and S.U.N.’s moondust army. S.U.N. Tzu is sent flying into the Clouds while shouting, “Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Gambit!”
The Cloud above, allowing some amounts of light for cannabis to grow, sighs. They never listen after all. As he drifts away, he puffs out yet another blunt.
---End of script, and Part 4---
Epilogue: Part 5 MONTY HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN'S NONCHALANT ADVENTURES
A weakened s.u.n. falls to the ground, with Human Human Human approaching. He didn't even have to look up to confirm it; his aura could be felt increasing by the nanosecond, making the atmosphere feel heavier and making s.u.n. plunge deeper into the dusted courtroom floor.
Gahhhhh! You won't get away with this… My influence will continue to haunt you and the Backrooms. You'll never truly save it from my sunderness underness nothingness… I'm like the pee in your pants…
You mean dirt under my nails?
No, pee. Like when you sneeze way too hard… SOLAR FL-
Before s.u.n. could finish his final words, Human Human Human casually parries the air that came out of his mouth, dealing the final bit of damage to him.
I'm done saying what I needed to say. You understand it too: s.u.n shattered, moon gone, the machine prophet blasted away, HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN is a freak20. If I don’t look down, then it’s not my problem. That’s what drifting is for.
Fuck you, Yesserning. Don’t drag me into your stupid-ass story. I don't want to be your stupid-ass narrator again; go find someone else.
Worst of all, fuck you for reading this far.
And so, Cloud.
---End of Part 5---
Part 6: SUPERSUPERSUPERHIDDENENDINGUNLOCKED!RENEVERSE (PLEASE DO NOT READ)
Phenomenon 26.0004379i is a hypothetical paradoxical event that exists and unexists, much like the internet's collective misunderstanding of the Schrödinger's Cat experiment. The event endxisted and anyone still experiencing hallucinations from the effects of Phenomenon 26 believes in a story about a court battle between suns and a moon and something about a special human using a sword to fight the sun. Such a clearly fabricated story to explain the mass hysteria event can obviously only come from a child's mind, and you should not fall for such fake, but vivid, hallucinations. There are numerous inconsistencies with the story, such as the sudden appearance of the special human, the sword not being used after appearing only once21, and the use of words that don't even exist. Please forget everything you thought you knew about s.u.n. and moon. Should you still fall victim to these effects, please make your way to the nearest M.E.G. center to be immediately shunned and treated as a false prophet. Do not worry, M.E.G. is here to save the Backrooms from fake news.
---End of the story. Please turn yourself in to the M.E.G.22---
