Phenomenon 18 - "The Infinite Wanderer"

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Thank you to DivineAtlas, ReyDay, GamerKat99, and BlockHead42 for the help with concept and grammar!!
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I think that the time I have spent here is immeasurable. Days find their meaning, not in the seconds that tick away, but in the moments that I have lived through. Still, it feels like a very long time. I do miss the world I’ve left behind, but I must move on. The past cannot be returned to.

I write today because I am dying. I survived that cave, yet here, at the hands of some awful beast, is where I fall. It is a kind death. Though my body will cease to be, my soul will continue through whatever life is next in line. Finality is absent in my death, and that is a fact that I cherish. I had wanted to start this journal earlier, but procrastination got the better of me. So I leave it to the Infinite Wanderer of the future to find and continue. I hope

It made it to me. This lady (Jane) —was— freaked out when she found me. She was expecting me to remember her but I just can’t. I’m sorry Jane. I just don’t work like that. I explained but she cried and I don’t know how to handle that. I’m—hope— sure she’ll understand.

I’ve never been on the city level before. It’s the level that reminds me the most of home. Apparently it’s infinite. It’s silly really because I am infinite but infinite —is— makes me feel so small.

There’s these scientists around but they panic when I get too close. They say they’re gonna catch “phenomenon 18 next” if I’m —cl— near them for too long. I don’t get it. I wanted to help but they won’t let me. I don’t think they even see me as human.

I so so SO wish I was in that same situation. Im back on level 11 but these megs will NOT leave me alone. Im not seen as a disease anymore which good but now they see me as a science experiment. So many times Ive been told Im holing something back and all this research is going towards preventing people becoming like me. Oh how brave and wonderful. I am sick of it. And then I found the journal again and I got so excited even though I dont even remember remembering it but they saw how excited I got and became obsessed. “Maybe youd feel better writing your emotions down. I know how a girl gets when she loses her diary.” Just get off of my path.

I haven’t seen my sister in so long now. It’d be nice if the journey took me back to Earth. I want to see her one last time at least. Tell her I’m happy and I’m so proud of her. I whined about more than enough to her.

I won’t see her again but I’m sure she knows I’m somewhere better.

The meg want me to hand over the journal to give it to the “next Infinite Wanderer”. I doubt they’ll find me but I hope I can find this again. Until the next life! <~ Isla

We were wrong about so much. Take this as my last observation on Phenomenon 18:
I am not a mindless robot or a soulless body. I still have so much meaning as the Infinite Wanderer. I cannot find the language to accurately convey what it is like to be me, but clinical language is far from appropriate. The approach taken by the M.E.G. is beyond flawed. It is dehumanising, immoral even. There is nothing for me to reveal or that I can say which’ll magically revolutionise the research into Phenomenon 18 and everyone celebrates. I don’t know about any destination or beginning. All I can report is that I am walking a journey that only my body knows and I am happy with who I am.

I’m joined by researcher Elias. He pretends it’ll be good for research but reality is he’s having a hard time facing the fact that I’m the Infinite Wanderer and still Jason. I don’t see the point of me constantly updating this diary. I’ve spent so many days writing for the M.E.G.. It’s time for me to walk now.

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I think that the time I have spent here is immeasurable. Days find their meaning, not in the seconds that tick away, but in the moments that I have lived through. Still, it feels like a very long time. I do miss the world I’ve left behind, but I must move on. The past cannot be returned to.

I write today because I am dying. I survived that cave, yet here, at the hands of some awful beast, is where I fall. It is a kind death. Though my body will cease to be, my soul will continue through whatever life is next in line. Finality is absent in my death, and that is a fact that I cherish. I had wanted to start this journal earlier, but procrastination got the better of me. So I leave it to the Infinite Wanderer of the future to find and continue. I hope

It made it to me. This lady (Jane) —was— freaked out when she found me. She was expecting me to remember her but I just can’t. I’m sorry Jane. I just don’t work like that. I explained but she cried and I don’t know how to handle that. I’m—hope— sure she’ll understand.

I’ve never been on the city level before. It’s the level that reminds me the most of home. Apparently it’s infinite. It’s silly really because I am infinite but infinite —is— makes me feel so small.

There’s these scientists around but they panic when I get too close. They say they’re gonna catch “phenomenon 18 next” if I’m —cl— near them for too long. I don’t get it. I wanted to help but they won’t let me. I don’t think they even see me as human.

I so so SO wish I was in that same situation. Im back on level 11 but these megs will NOT leave me alone. Im not seen as a disease anymore which good but now they see me as a science experiment. So many times Ive been told Im holing something back and all this research is going towards preventing people becoming like me. Oh how brave and wonderful. I am sick of it. And then I found the journal again and I got so excited even though I dont even remember remembering it but they saw how excited I got and became obsessed. “Maybe youd feel better writing your emotions down. I know how a girl gets when she loses her diary.” Just get off of my path.

I haven’t seen my sister in so long now. It’d be nice if the journey took me back to Earth. I want to see her one last time at least. Tell her I’m happy and I’m so proud of her. I whined about more than enough to her.

I won’t see her again but I’m sure she knows I’m somewhere better.

The meg want me to hand over the journal to give it to the “next Infinite Wanderer”. I doubt they’ll find me but I hope I can find this again. Until the next life! <~ Isla

We were wrong about so much. Take this as my last observation on Phenomenon 18:
I am not a mindless robot or a soulless body. I still have so much meaning as the Infinite Wanderer. I cannot find the language to accurately convey what it is like to be me, but clinical language is far from appropriate. The approach taken by the M.E.G. is beyond flawed. It is dehumanising, immoral even. There is nothing for me to reveal or that I can say which’ll magically revolutionise the research into Phenomenon 18 and everyone celebrates. I don’t know about any destination or beginning. All I can report is that I am walking a journey that only my body knows and I am happy with who I am.

I’m joined by researcher Elias. He pretends it’ll be good for research but reality is he’s having a hard time facing the fact that I’m the Infinite Wanderer and still Jason. I don’t see the point of me constantly updating this diary. I’ve spent so many days writing for the M.E.G.. It’s time for me to walk now.

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