Part I
Offsets
Offset 0
Name: Only A Mirror: Intro
Offset 1
Name: Only A Mirror: Page 1
Offset 2
Name: Only A Mirror: Page 2
Offset 3
Name: Only A Mirror: Page 3
⚠️ Content Warnings ⤴
Info
Content Warning
This is Part I of a highly-coded, metaphorical tale about colonialism. It's a deconstruction of a familiar story, and an attempt to explore both the consequences of losing one's ancestral culture, and the origins of colonial violence.
If reading about these things causes you unmanageable grief, shame and/or anger, skip this tale, or make sure you have a support system you can talk to. (A support system that doesn't rely on denying the problem or preaching hate.) Violence is never the right way to deal with pain; there's been enough violence already.
endless_waters
Audio Log 10- 2022-10-01
[Crunching twigs, swishing leaves. Sounds of walking through brush]
Voice 1: [distant] We are nearly there- the Pavilion.
Scout: Pavilion? What's that?
Voice 1: [distant] The centre. The hub of the turning wheel, where all seasons meet.
Scout: Unh.. ok. What does that mean?
Voice 1: [distant] You do not need to worry. Different seasons mingle, as do worlds. You are welcome to join.
[Footsteps. Wind sounds]
Voice 2: It is our marketplace. Where those who live here meet and gather.
Scout: Oh! I see.
Voice 2: speaking in an unknown language
Voice 1: speaking in an unknown language
Voice 1: Forgive me, human. I have not explained it well.
[Heaving breathing]
------ End of Recording -------
Audio Log 11- 2022-10-01
[Footsteps, shuffling]
[Murmur of a distant crowd]
Voice 1: [feline screeching noise] A guest! A human guest! Brethren, gather-in! And welcome them! We have a human guest!
[Mixed noises from a large crowd. Some human-like gasps and cries. Various animals calls. Other sounds- flames, crackling, grinding, shuffling, rustling]
[Noises get louder]
Voice 1: A human has found their way to us! Another one has bested the path to the Grove! They found their way to summertime!
[Mixed voices and noises- cheering, talking, shouting]
Scout: Unh! Hey! Uh… hello! Yes! Hello, everyone!
Voice 1: Summer people! All of you, summer people! Come here! Come forward and greet our guest!
Scout: Hey! Sorry.. umm…Hello! Yes!
Voice: Summer people? Are you greedy? Do you mean to hoard them for yourselves?
Voice: All seasons are one! The Grove is our shared domain! Surely you do not think the gifts of a single season are enough?
Voice: Yes! How will she see the rainbow of the first buds open? Or bask in the warming grasses? You cannot garland her with flowers!
Voice: And we are the harvest! What can any of you offer, besides every nourishing gift we cultivate from the earth? We will give the feast her frightened, fragile belly longs for!
Voice: What of a thousand stories told by firelight? Ages upon ages of knowledge, unearthed from the sinking leaves?
Voice: The warmest of furs and hearths! The magic of gathering with friends, sheltering from the storm!
Voice: We'll see that she rests more deeply and peacefully than the roots of tallest tree, in the deepest snow!
Voice 1: Hey now! She was found in the summer quarter. So the lord of summer will be her host! Do you deny our hospitality? Do you insult life and sunlight?! You speak as though the whispering leaves are worthless-
Deep Voice: ENOUGH!
[Crowd dies away into silence. Quickly]
Deep Voice: What is this senseless bickering? Have you forgotten yourselves? This is no way to welcome a guest!
[Silence]
Deep Voice: I was told that rangers found a human wandering alone, in the summer forest. Is this true?
Voice 1: Yes master! They're here! We brought them safely back with us.
Deep Voice: Let them come forward
[Crowd shuffling, murmuring]
[Footsteps, heavy breathing]
[Soft wind sounds]
Deep Voice: Welcome, human. Do you know where you are?
Scout: No.
Deep Voice: This is the Grove. Domain of the four seasons, and the Wild Hunt. Few humans find their way to this place, for the path is treacherous. Those who do, we hold in high esteem.
[Silence]
Deep Voice: Tell us- what do you do?
Scout: I- me? …I’m a resource and materials scout. For the B.N.T.G. The Backrooms Non-aligned Trade Group
Deep Voice: And what does that mean?
Scout: Well, I search for things that we can use. To help people survive, in all these different… levels. Food, clothing, weapons, things for building shelter. We collect things, and trade them with others.
Deep Voice: Aah! So you are a gatherer. That is a fine calling, one of equal esteem that has stood beside hunters for millennia. It takes courage and a sharp eye, to collect the things provided to us. And a strong heart, to take and share them fairly- without sliding down the path of greed.
[Silence]
Scout: Um, I'm sorry but I don't… I don't really understand why I'm here. Who are you?
Deep Voice: I am the Monarch of the House of Summer, and leader of the Wild Hunt. I am known to your kind as Herne, the Huntmaster. You may address me as such, for as my guest, you are my equal.
[Silence]
Deep Voice: [quietly] You are tired, aren't you? You have wandered a long way, and you are very far from home.
Scout: [quietly] Yes.
Deep Voice: [quietly] Then you are welcome to rest in my house. I have shared it, personally, with every human to pass this way. You will be provided for, and allowed to rest undisturbed, for as long as you may need. The others will not harm or bother you. All that is required, in return, is that you respect our customs in this place. Will you accept?
Scout: Yes. I do.
Deep Voice: [announcing] The human will share the house of summer, as is tradition! But I assure you that in time, every season will be welcome to meet our guest! None will be excluded. We will allow them to recover from their travels, as hospitality demands. But in the meantime, go and celebrate! Roar and dance, and sing our joy into the realms, for a maker is among us, once again!
[Wild cheering- audio clipping]
Deep Voice: Come. Follow me.
------ End of Recording -------
Audio Log 12- 2022-10-01
[Footsteps crunching on fallen leaves. Trees rustling]
Herne: While you are guest of the Grove, you will need a title to be called by. You should not offer your name, to me or any of the others. That is a trade of the highest value- it requires something great in exchange, and some may be affronted by your asking.
Scout: Ok?
Herne: I have told you to call me Herne, for that I what I do. Likewise, you will be Scout- unless you prefer a different title?
Scout: No, that's … "Scout's" fine. I'm… I'm afraid I'm confused. How is your name what you do?
Herne: [chuckling] Herne is not my name. Herne, the Deer-Man, the Huntmaster- that is what you made me. And being what you made me is what I do. My true name, in the sense that you understand, is beyond you.
Scout: So you're a deer-man… but you're not one?
Herne: If a man looks in a mirror, and his reflection appears on the surface, does that make the mirror a man?
[Silence]
Herne: I am only a mirror, child.
------ End of Recording -------
Journal Entry- Oct. 1st 2022
The Wild Hunt. Holy shit. I'm surrounded by the Wild Hunt.
I just was just personally introduced to POI #18. I was 5 feet from him.
I've also seen the most spectacular place.
And a collection of severed limbs.
It's a lot. A lot of things are happening, I'm having a lot of very different, strong feelings, to manage all at once. I need to get them all in order.
When Cat-Man and Rockpile finally lead me out of the woods- to the 'Pavilion' they kept telling me about- I didn't understand what I was seeing at first. Because there was still that slanting canopy light overhead, and the ground was still covered with leaves- but the trees were gone. It was a like a weird bubble of space in the woods. And then I realized- we were still under a tree. One, giant tree.
We walked out into an enormous circular clearing. A cobbled ring of mossy paving stones, half buried in decomposing leaves. And rising from the centre of the ring was the base of the most monstrous, magnificent tree I've ever seen. Easily fifteen feet wide at the trunk. Millions of branches, winding through the air over our heads like a cathedral ceiling, made of veins. Looking up, the canopy soared so high that parts of it were fading into mist. And it changed. The leaves of the tree were different colours, in different places. It looked like it was divided into four radial sections, like a pinwheel. The segment we stood under was green, lit by the sunlight sparkling through. But to the left, the tree-ceiling was all oranges, reds, and yellows, like fall. To the right, it was a mass of pinkish-white flowers. Like froth, or clouds. Petals and leaves were falling down, like gentle rain, over the paved ring that ran below them. And behind the trunk, I could see a little of the fourth section, which seemed to have bare branches. The whole place was so huge that it was hard to see things far away, but I thought I made out clumps of snow.
It took my breath away. I instantly realized that this was the sort of thing you can't describe, to anyone. You have to see it for yourself. And even looking at it for real might not be enough, because it's too much to take in.
But there was more, still. The base of the tree was a small mountain, made from twisting, tangled roots. And nestled everywhere in the roots were hundreds of tents and buildings. It's a market. An enormous, sprawling market. With thousands of entities. It looked like the base of the tree was swarming with bees.
Sure enough, we walked straight towards it.
It took us almost five full minutes to walk across the ring, and get to the center where the roots touched down. When we did, I could see how big they really were- some were thicker than the length of a bus. The entities were using them as causeways, like a network of winding streets. My escort stopped in front of a huge root that plunged into the cobblestones- it had steps shaped into the bark. It seemed like a significant place. Off to the side, there was this large, circular stone platform, like a raised stage on the cobbles. It was tucked in a fork between the staircase, and another huge root of equal size. It was strung overhead with garlands of leaves and flowers, and maybe bones also. There was an empty doorframe, made of twisted branches, standing in the middle of it.
I thought maybe we were waiting for someone on the platform. Or that we were going to climb up into the root-city. (Which was daunting, considering I'd just walked for fifteen days. My legs are still killing me.) But then Moss-Cat started shouting for the other entities to come down. Just like that, there were hundreds of entities rushing down the root-stairs. Straight towards us. And very quickly, we were surrounded.
It's impossible to catalogue the entities, because they were all so different. But they were like the two escorting me- some combination of human, animal, and earth parts, all jumbled together. I saw animal heads of every kind, things made of fire, and grass, and bone, a human head on an insect, five different creatures stuck together, a metallic bird-kid, a fish-woman sprouting plants down her back, a walking fungus wearing leather pants… I can't list them all. The crowd was an utter chaos of colours, and materials, and voices. So many different voices, all chattering and calling in sounds I couldn't understand. But they did, in fact, seem to have one thing in common- which was the desire to get close to me. They were all pushing forward and reaching, trying to get a look at me and touch me. At least a hundred different hands and claws and paws grabbed my jacket. It took everything I had in me to stay calm.
I think they started fighting over me. It was hard to hear the conversation, but Moss-Cat got in a heated exchange with some others in the crowd- something about "hosting" me and whose gifts were better. Never mind that they were arguing in English. (Because that makes perfect sense.) But the squabble didn't last long. Because suddenly this voice just cut through the crowd. Everyone instantly shut-up. And POI #18 walked through the doorframe, onto the platform. Out of nowhere.
So. POI #18. Has anyone from our group actually encountered this entity? Or is it just the Meggies? I'm wondering if I'm the first Trader to meet him. If I am, a few points: he's impressive, he's a sight to behold, and he is absolutely, utterly, terrifying. I almost pissed myself when they brought me up to him- I stood right at his feet. To anyone who thinks they stand a chance against this entity- you are very, very wrong.
He's over seven feet tall. He's absolutely ripped. Covered in short brown fur, and thick metal plates. He has a huge, razor-sharp spear- like you can tell how sharp it is, by how the light hits it. And yes, he has a deer head. With a huge crown of antlers, all matted up with leaves and grass like he's been fighting or smashing things. Or maybe they're just growing off his head. He is indeed a monarch- I have no other word for it. There's power just oozing out of him, and it feels ancient. Like something you do not fuck with. He just stared down at me- with these huge, black deer eyes.
When he said "Wild Hunt", my stomach flipped over. This is them- what else could it be. I've never been their target, but everything about them matches what I remember from the GPD. The hybrid, animal-nature entities, lead by Herne The Huntmaster, that chase people through the Backrooms. The ones that killed Zach, and Fatima.
I'm in their home. That's what this "Grove" is. Their level. Smack dab in the middle of the hornets' nest. I'm trying not to hyperventilate.
And yet, they're treating me like a guest of honour. Promising not to hurt me. What's with the 360? I'm terrified it's going to snap at any moment- that I might do something wrong or offend them and they'll slaughter me. I wont stand a chance. I'm just gonna nod politely and agree to everything they say.
I have no idea how I'm getting out of this alive. I don't know what happens, now.
I'm currently in Herne's house. Yup. No big deal.
I didn't know what to expect, when Herne said I would personally share his house. I imagined everything from a patch of grass to a giant castle. But in fact, it's some kind of hunting lodge. (It's quite deep in the forest, but that doorway on the platform is like a portal- it's how he gets back and forth to the Tree. I found that out after he walked me through it.) It's a timber building, that seems to be integrated with the trunks and branches of several live trees. Moss and grasses growing on everything. It's actually quite beautiful, and it's smaller than you'd think for such a powerful being. POI #18 has a humble side, it seems. But not when in comes to interior decorating. Oh no. I confess I'm very distracted from the otherworldly architecture, because Herne keeps his halls and rooms lined with all his favourite trophies. Human trophies.
I don't want to describe them- I really don't think it's necessary. All I'll say is that there are some whole people, some bits of people, a few objects and articles of clothing, and at least one head. I don't know how I'm going to exist in same building, for however long I stay here. I'm just extremely grateful there aren't any body-parts in my bedroom.
And it's a strange room- I'd much rather talk about this. Again, it seems that there are live trees in the walls and ceiling- there are leaves growing into the room, even though there can't be enough sun. My bed isn't a bed- it's a big circular cut in the floorboards, filled with mounds of fluffy, live moss. There's a stone protrusion in the corner, with a basin carved into it- it's filled with water from a spring in the rock, that overflows and drains out through a groove in the floor. And the rest of the room is piled up with what can only be offerings. Fruits. Vegetables and herbs. Meat. Clothing. Jewellery. All neatly arranged on wooden shelves and tables.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I feel like doing both. What was I thinking? I should have run from the entities, at the beginning. I should have tried.
I'm surrounded by an insane, overwhelming level of beauty. And I'm living in a house full of corpses. I'm a guest of the Wild Hunt, and I might as well also be a prisoner. One of the most powerful entities in the Backrooms is one thin wall away from me. I don't know if I'll ever be found, or make contact with people ever again.
It's almost like when I first got here. The Backrooms. I never thought I'd see people again. When I did, it was a goddamned miracle.
Now I'm alone again. Only instead of having nothing, I have so much I can't make sense of it. I don't know what to do.
There's a wooden bowl, full of blackberries on a table next to me. At least, I thought so at first. It looked like the same fruit from the forest. But then I caught it in the corner of my eye, and I suddenly saw something red. I looked at it again, properly- and then there were other berries mixed in. Cranberries.
I ate the blackberries. I ate the cranberries. Flavourless, again- but filling. I sat on the floor for a bit, just staring at the wall. I tried the radio. Nothing. At some point, I found the gumption to write down everything that happened.
And now I'm staring again.
…
Journal_3.txt
Journal_4.txt
Journal_5.txt
Journal_6.txt
Journal_7.txt
Audio_Log_13.mp3
Journal_8.txt
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