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Faust Takumi slammed his bedroom door, muffling the screams and curses of his little sister echoing from downstairs, the force causing an old family photo to fall off the wall and crash to the floor.
“I fucking wish you were never born, asshole!” Nijuni Takumi screamed, storming out of the house to wherever she went when she was mad.
“Fuck!” Faust screamed into his pillow.
The tears came fast. They always did. Faust could remember a time where his house wasn’t a constant screaming match, where his sister wasn’t a total bitch to him every second of the day and where the Takumi family… well, actually seemed like a family. Faust gazed over at the shattered photo on the floor, the smiling faces of him and Nijuni gazing back at him.
Faust picked up the photo frame, dusting the broken shards of glass into a nearby trash can, and setting the broken photo frame on his desk. Looking at the photo, he couldn’t help but cry.
It was about then the pulling started.
It was a gentle tug at first, barely even noticeable. Faust immediately jumped onto his bed, but that only resulted in the tugging sensation moving from his feet to his back – as if his whole room was quicksand, trying to pull him down… where, exactly?
The hum started then—a low vibration, like a distant engine. The pull grew harder. The edges of his room warped, shadows stretching toward him, clawing like smoke.
The pulling only got harder and stronger as Faust made a merger attempt to struggle against the force trying to pull him into his bed. Struggling and struggling, Faust screamed as the black inky darkness poured from the walls and swallowed him whole.
When Faust came to, the first thing he noticed was the smell of wet pavement on a hot summers day, and rain quietly pelting his body. Thunder quietly echoed in the distance as Faust slowly came to his feet.
Where am I?
“Ugh… where am I?” Faust said, dusting off the dirt and debris from his shorts and navy tank-top… shit, these were new clothes, too…
Faust measured his surroundings… road as far as his eyes could see. Pitch black forests flanking his sides.
Faust looked up at the stormy night sky, the moon still shining though the rainclouds pelting rain down onto him. How… where… what was going on? One minute he was in his room, the next… he's here?
First things first, Faust needed to get out of the rain. His clothes were already soaked with rain water, and the feeling of his shirt sticking to his back was a feeling Faust didn't particularly enjoy.
Faust made his way over to the forest and began to walk, the sound of rain and thunder following him, unrelenting, sinking into his skin even.
He kept walking.
It wasn’t long before the muddy trail ended back where he started. The footprints leading into the forest were definitely his…
“No… no way… He muttered his voice hoarse, swallowing hard. His heart thudded painfully. “I just need to keep moving.”
As Faust exited the forest, he couldn’t help but do a double take at the trees, carefully inspecting them.
“Are… they breathing?” Faust asked, placing a hand on a branch.
Thunder rattled in the distance – and just for a brief second, Faust could swear he heard his sister’s voice.
“Nijuni!?” Faust yelled, running out of the forest and onto the road. “Nijuni where are you?”
Nothing but the sounds of rain and thunder responded back to him, and a second voice. A voice Faust had mentally blocked from his mind.
“Shit, what is…” Faust said, his voice cracked. “What is going on?’ Faust cried.
“I just… I just need to find someone” Faust said, slightly regaining his composure. “Flag down a car, get answers, go home.” Faust added, as he began to walk.
And walk.
And walk.
And walk.
Faust walked for what felt like decades, only his thoughts to keep him company, the rain water slowly beginning to drench his very being.
Yet, still, Faust continued to trudge through the road. One foot in front of the other.
Thunder rolled, deep and distant, carrying alongside it a whisper.
“You’re the reason.”
Faust spun around, scanning the trees. “Who’s there!?” he called out.
Nothing but rain and thunder greeted him.
Faust shook his head “I’m just losing it, it’s just the rain” he thought to himself.
But when he turned back, something new was there waiting for him. A large billboard just off the side of the road, an old family photo displayed on it.
Faust remembered it well: him and Nijuni, back when they were kids, playing at the beach with his dad half buried in sand. It was a memory Faust held dear to him, a memory when things where simpler and the world made sense.
Faust couldn’t help but smile and stare at it – a brief respite from the hell he had found himself in.
It was perfect. Too perfect.
But, as Faust stared, the photo began to twist and warp, the smiling faces of Nijuni and his dad turning into frowns, before the photo disappeared into nothing but a staticky mess.
The static hissed, rising in volume, until it morphed into a scream.
“Fuck, what is… what the hell is going on” Faust said, turning away from the billboard. As Faust spoke, a sound rose in the distance, a low ragged sob.
An all too familiar sob.
“Nijuni?” Faust whispered.
The sob, almost in response, turned from a low ragged sound to a high pitch scream, echoing from the distance.
Faust couldn’t help but run in the direction of the sobs.
Faust ran and ran, before being greeted by something impossible.
This shouldn't exist.
His childhood home.
The source of the cries.
Almost instinctively, Faust turned over one of the lawn gnomes and grabbed the spare key that lived under it for the entirety of their stay at 15 Gloomwood Lane, and unlocked the door.
Faust swung open the door and ran inside, the sobs echoing from somewhere upstairs.
At this point, Faust didn’t even question it. His legs moved independently of his brain. He ran upstairs and into the master bathroom, the windows watching his every step, the stairs pushing his feet up to the bathroom, almost as if the house was breathing him in.
“You fucking bitch!” an 8-year old Faust screamed at his sister, holding a drenched Gameboy color and copy of Pokémon Silver, still dripping with water. “I spent all my birthday money on this thing. “You always ruin everything!” Faust screamed, waving around the dripping Gameboy like a weapon.
“Serves you right for always being so mean to me and mom!” a 5-year-old Nijuni teased back, sticking her tounge out at the younger version of Faust.
What came next was something Faust always regretted, something that was etched into his very soul… something that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t forget over a decade later.
The Gameboy came crashing down on Nijuni’s head, screws and water flying across the bathroom. Nijuni stumbled back, tears in her eyes, as she looked at the adult Faust with a look of betrayal.
“Why?” was all that she asked, blood gushing down her head and onto her face “Why do you hate me so much?”
“N-N…No, no, no it’s not my fault” Faust shuddered, his voice raspy, his knees falling onto the rain-soaked ground “It was an accident, I didn’t mean too!” he screamed, clutching his head.
Rain dripped from the ceiling and the tiles of the bathroom blurred, stretching and warping, until he was standing on the road again, with the younger Nijuni.
“You always ruin everything. You never cared about me, did you? It was always about yourself,” She said in a monotone voice, blood mixing with the rainwater, slowly dying, her face a bloody crimson red.
“I didn’t mean to, it’s not my fault!”
“You always say that. It’s never your fault,” Nijuni muttered, washing away with the rain.
“Wait no, don’t leave me!” Faust yelled, running to her spot. “I don’t wanna be alone…”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you like that, Nijuni… please…” Faust quietly whimpered as the rain and thunder grew heavier, practically clinging onto his skin. “Please don’t leave me alone like this…” Faust said, barely audible.
The rain kept pounding Faust, harder, harder and yet harder still. The rain felt alive, like sharp daggers digging into his skin.
“I didn’t mean to hurt her, I never do.” Faust repeated over and over, his voice trembling, until it was nothing but a faint whisper.
The asphalt gleamed under the storm, puddles reflecting faint glimmers of light.
Headlights.
Faust got up. Hope? Salvation? A way home, out of this mess?
A way to make things right?
Faust ran, ran to an all too familiar blue 1990 Honda Civic with the words “FUCK YOU” scratched into the side.
As soon as Faust came close, the backseat door clicked open, inviting him in.
Why?
At this point, Faust didn’t even question it. He just jumped in the back seat as the car sped off down the road.
The car smelled of wet leather and gasoline. The engine growled as it sped off, the road stretching endlessly ahead.
“You don’t care about anyone but yourself,” an all too familiar voice rang out from the driver’s seat.
“T…T-Tob…i?” Faust weakly asked.
“You always destroy everything, and then you blame other people.” Tobi Elliots said in response.
“N-No I, I didn’t mean to.” Faust stammered out.
The other boy turned to face Faust, one eye glaring at, him the other a dull, glassy orb with jagged scars running up and down the left side of his face. His face twisted as he spoke, the scars on his face cracking like broken glass.
“You did this to me.” Tobi said, his voice cold and monotone. “And you don’t even have the guts to apologize.”
“I-I…” Faust trailed off.
“Exactly.”
Faust could remember that cold December night well, the alcohol, the accident, the flashing sirens, the cold metal handcuffs being slapped on his wrists.
“I didn’t mean too…”
“Let me guess. It’s not your fault?”
Faust couldn’t respond, his voice alluding him.
“Did you ever think about the scars you left on people, and then walked away from with little to no consequences?”
Again, Faust was left speechless. What really was there to say?
The car seats turned sticky, the smell of gasoline chocking him and the sound of sirens wailing, yelling, accusing.
The car, and Tobi with it, began to melt away, almost being washed away by the rain.
“N-N…No please not you too.”
“Why should I be there for you, when you were never there for any of us?” Tobi Elliots answered back, being washed away by the rain, leaving Faust alone, again, on the road.
“N…N-No…” Faust whimpered as the very world began to melt away, revealing nothing but a hallway of mirrors, each showing a different Faust, one depicting him smashing his Gameboy over Nijuni’s head, another him keying Tobi’s car with a devilish grin, and a third him stealing money from his own mothers wallet.
“I…I”
“I’m sorry.” Faust said, falling to his hands and knees as tears fell, almost as hard as the rain.
“I’m such a piece of fucking shit. God, why couldn’t I let things go? Nijuni, Tobi, everyone…”
“Why couldn’t I just stop? Stop yelling, stop fighting, stop trying to hurt other people… Why couldn’t I just let things be the way they were?” Faust cried, looking over at one of the mirrors displaying him snapping his sister's cellphone in half.
“I always had to have the last laugh. I always had to be right. I always had to win. It was always about me. Never about other people. I hurt so many people!” Faust cried
Finally, something, everything, clicked in his mind. This was purgatory, wasn’t it? Or something of the sorts. This was his punishment for being such a horrible human being. He’d never get the chance to escape, never get the chance to make things right… but, really, at this point did he even deserve it in the first place?
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” Faust whispered. “I see now what you where trying to show me. Nijuni, Tobi, everyone. I’m sorry.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“You always say that,” one reflection hissed, his eyes empty and cold. “But you never change.”
“I’m trying!” Faust yelled “I see now what this place was trying to show me…”
The mirrors began to crack, spiderweb-like cracks dancing across their surfaces.
“I’m so sorry. I want to fix it… I really do. I want to be better. I want to be a good person.”
“So you finally see now.” A voice whispered.
And in the distance, Faust could swear he could see a faint, glowing light.
It wasn’t much. But it was something.