Level 380 - "The Plight of the Pedestrian"

Info

This was technically my first article - it was created to get the hang of the site components, then gave up on when I failed to get any critique. When the Classic Writing Blitz 2024 came around, I remembered this level and it's 2020 charm, and decided to repurpose it for the competition. This wasn't intended to be a comedy either, it was suggested by Akimoto on the last round of crit, and seconded by Boring. I realized that the earlier version was even funnier than the latest one, and so re-ported some parts of it.

Created by PrismaticMoose

Thanks to LaundryFan_04, Greggita Mahayfaio, DrAkimoto, and Yesserning for giving valuable critique

Additional thanks to LaundryFan_04 for moving the page out of submissions

SURVIVAL DIFFICULTY:

Class 2E - Environmental

Unsafe
Secure
Non-Entity Hazards

A photograph of a pedestrian underpass exiting onto a footpath bordered by bushes. The edges of the image are visibly overtaken by brownish stains.

A photo of an entrance to this level.

Description

Level 380, often known as "The Plight of the Pedestrian" consists of a dual carriageway bordered by boreal forests.

The roadside is a dirt footpath going both directions, alongside the dual carriageway. The road extends for 50 kilometers, before looping back to where it started, while remaining entirely straight.

Do not try and cross over the road to the other side, as any attempts invariably result in death. Despite no cars being visible in either direction, trying to cross causes a car or other vehicle to appear outside your view and hit you at highway speeds, before both the vehicle and the corpse vanish. The vehicles are assumed to be controlled by the level itself and not by separate entities, as they do not appear outside the level and cannot leave the dual carriageway.

Bases, Outposts and Communities

The Cross Coders

The Cross Coders are an offshoot of The Completionists, obsessed with crossing the road despite the fact that this is impossible, as they believe some "great secret" lies on the other side. The group was originally started to try and complete the new achievement to cross the road on level 380, but over time members started to think that the other side was more important than was previously thought. While they still work with mainline Completionists, the Cross Coders do not try and complete any other achievements.

There isn't much shelter in the camp, but it doesn't matter as there are few sustained residencies. While there isn't any food or drink in Level 380, long-term Cross Coders survive off supplies brought by newer members.

In mid-2024, the MEG decided to entertain the Cross Coder's idea of their secret in case it did turn out to be important. The Cross Coders were assigned a M.E.G. researcher and provided with requested materials at no cost.

+ Open Testing Logs

- Hide Testing Logs

Date	Test Procedure	Result	Additional Information	Researcher Note
26/09/24	Two Cross Coders were instructed to watch either direction of the road from a safe distance while a test subject crosses.	Failure	Both people watching felt the overwhelming urge to blink, and when they did so, two sedans hit the subject from both sides, the shrapnel killing both observers.	In retrospect, maybe we should have tried a strategy that the Cross Coders haven't already tried.
30/09/24	Same procedures as the previous test, but with cameras as observers.	Failure	Cameras stopped recording as subject reached halfway across the road before being struck by two cars at once, similar to the last test.	Never mind.
05/10/24	Zipline is launched from a tree on the Cross Coder's side of the road into a tree on the other side via crossbow. Test Subject is instructed to slide down it.	Failure	Large truck drove across, pulling the tree the cable was attached to from its roots, crushing a Cross Coder tent (killing three), and causing the subject to fall to their death.	This time the subject died from being hit by the ground, instead of being hit by a car - that means we're getting somewhere!
23/10/24	Scaffold structure made of wood sourced from the forest is built to 5 meters above the treeline. Zipline is launched from there to the top of a tree on the other side of the road via crossbow.	Failure	Before any test subjects could be assigned, a pickup truck carrying a wooden plank across it's bed in such a way that it stuck out several meters from the vehicle appeared. As it moved forward past the camp, the plank struck the supports of the scaffold with enough force to knock it down.	I don't think this level has a wide-load permit.
05/11/24	Glider made of patchwork fabrics and spruce wood is constructed on site. Test subject is instructed to climb to the top of a tree wearing glider and then glide across to the other side.	Failure	As soon as the subject started gliding, a truck appeared and deliberately overturned, causing enough updraft to make the glider turn round and fly back towards the camp. The ensuing crash killed the subject and two others.	I'm starting to think this level doesn't have a driving license.
10/11/24	Request submitted for materials to create a powered plane to cross the road.	Rejected	Rejected by the MEG for being too costly and difficult to source.	The bosses have revoked our funding - something about "major test subject misconduct," I keep explaining that they're all Cross Coder volunteers and they do suicidally stupid things as a career, but the bean-counters insisted.
27/12/24	Makeshift plane made of scrounged materials is constructed and flown from a raised platform some distance from the road by a test subject.	Failure	A petrol tanker appears in the middle of the road. The plane crashes into it, igniting the petroleum. The resulting explosion, combined with the shrapnel, kills 26 Cross Coders.	(researcher deceased from egregious employee negligence)

Addendum:

It is now known to the M.E.G that level 380 maliciously targets wanderers, and that its method of murder always tries to cause the most casualties possible. Fortunately for wanderers, none of it's vehicles can leave the road, and it cannot attack if you stay off the road. For your own safety, and the safety of others, do not cross the road, or join the ranks of the Cross Coders, no matter how sensible it seems.

Entrances and Exits

Entrances

Level 380 can be entered by taking a tunnel in an underpass that is at 90 degrees from the main passage, in any level where such structures appear.

Exits

Walking into the electric substation next to the Cross Coder base will lead to Level 3.

‡ Licensing / Citation

_cc _licensebox _title comedy forested jam2025 level m.e.g.roadway sd-class-other

page revision: 17, last edited: 24 Sep 2025 23:41

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