Male 1: MY FUCKING LEG, FUCK! HELP! SOMEONE! MY LEG FUCKING MAYBE-CLIPPPPPED!!
White Savior: (in a New Yorker accent) Dude… I'm gonna need you to calm down. Just remove your leg from the wall, dumbass.
Male 1: What the fuck are you talking about!? I can't just—
White Savior walks up to the man, pulling his leg out from the wall seamlessly.
Male 1: Wh— What the fuck. How did—
White Savior: It was that easy… You're seriously beyond help. Making such a scene out of that. Maybe-clipping is a problem as old as the plague. I guess not everyone is as great as me. White Savior out.
He walks away, fading into nothing as quickly as he arrived.
Man 1: Dude. This can't be fucking real.
Description
"White Savior" has the appearance of a Caucasian man in his late 20s, dressed in an unblemished black suit with a white dress shirt underneath it, as well as a black tie. His face is permanently plastered with displeasure and pity; it's twisted in just the right way to adequately irritate those who meet him. He has short, well-kept dirty-blonde hair and brown eyes — he's about as average as it gets in terms of looks.
When he first started showing up, people thought the dude was just some dickhead trying to seem smarter than everyone else, fixing minor issues like retrieving lost items and other odd jobs in his usual jerkish fashion. After a while, people started to catch on that he wasn't just some Joe-schmoe walking around in a suit fucking with people. He is an entity — probably — and has the bizarre ability to show up whenever someone is in need and magically fix any problem. He never gets any thanks for it since he's such an asshole about it. He calls himself the White Savior. Fucking psychopath.
Like, bro, what do you mean "Was it really that hard?" I was literally drowning in thalasso and you made it so I could breathe underwater. You're fucking nuts.
Anyways, as much as he is a huge douchebag, he's helped us all out one way or another, so deep down we respect him. Somewhere down there. Up *here*, I say "fuck you", I can fix my own problems — help someone else you prick.
