+1
There is something calming in my opinion about the way its written. (Full review may come soon)
Level 118 - "The Darkest Campground" / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page Level 118 - "The Darkest Campground".
One thing I love about your writing style is that you're very good at taking an emotion or an idea and making the emotion feel consistent throughout the page. The prose itself is of course, extremely good, and I've added this to my recommended reading page on my author page.
I love how you mixed the classic level format with a more lively, almost poetic writing style. As Bluesignet said, it works great to convey emotions through the page. This is someting I liked a lot in Level 298 too.
+1, Great work.
There are some genuinely refreshing aspects to this work. The formatting, I think, is very much fluid and allows for an overall pleasant reading experience.
There are cool ideas for the concept itself, with this tension between light and darkness that I find very interesting when applied to the perspective of a lonely person trying to survive what must be a particularly dire situation. Another great notion is how the entities are also victims of the world you depict, they are as lost, scared and confused as humans are, that's just a really neat detail. I also like the choices the images you've chosen.
…But. The amount of detail you give in an expository manner has detracted me from the reading experience. I'm really of the opinion that less is more, and that constant tension between light and darkness, between life and death, is completely destroyed by the mention of Hyrum Lanterns as this infaillible safeguard. More generally speaking, there is this video game guide feeling you have brought into this page that I really, really cannot bring myself to like. The end result feels a little confused, I think what you've tried to write is a reinvention of the good old clinical pages with a more immersive tone, but the "tell don't show" parts such as in the "Tents" section detailing what you may find inside of them as well as the bullet points list for the entities really does a disservice to said immersion. That's unfortunate.
Thank you for the comment! I agree that less is more, yet can't stop worrying that my works are too short lol. I find myself conflictingly compelled to add "details" for the sake of filling in the cracks and connecting it to other articles, but then these additions can come across as superficial or expository yea. The Hyrum Lanterns in particular were a last-minute idea, and it's true, they're completely unnecessary to the page.
This is overall a really cool page, I'll definitely be reminded of it next time I go camping, +1
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