Alright, I love the concept first and foremost. Just going to go through some things that may need revision…
Any individual who comes into contact with Object 199 will undergo rapid decomposition, resulting in complete dissolution within 60 seconds, even from minimal exposure. Throughout this process, the affected individual’s body progressively liquefies and evaporates, leaving behind no physical remains.
The way this sentence is phrased makes me believe the substance is extremely hot in some way, I can tell this is not the way you’re going. Decomposition also specifically means rotting of any organic matter, melting and evaporation are two separate processes and don’t classify as this. A sentence that could help get the message across better would be:
Any individual who comes in contact with Object 199— no matter the amount they’ve been exposed to —will begin to rapidly deteriorate. The individual will start to melt before evaporating completely, leaving no remains behind. The process as a whole has been documented to last exactly 60 seconds
This way it’s more clearer that the reader that the individual simply just melts and evaporates. Using the word decomposition confuses people as it’s most commonly associated with rotting flesh. Feel free to edit it to your linking of course!
Next up, the second paragraph describing its light absorbing properties was a bit confusing, you described that depending on the liquids amount less or more of the surrounding area will become darker; yet a few sentences later you describe the darkness takes up the whole environment. I imagine the surrounding area to be only a few meters in perimeter and the whole environment being a room or possibly even the entirety of the level so I was confused how much area the darkness actually takes up. The affects of the darkness on wanderers was pretty well written but I’m just confused as to how much area it would actually take up. It could just be me but I think this part could be tweaked a slight bit to avoid future confusion.
That’s all the significant things I feel are worth noting but feel free to ask if I could expand! Also, in terms of length I definitely think it’s long enough to hold all the relevant information. Any extension might make it waffly and overly nuanced.
