Ah?
(account deleted) 16 Nov 2024 12:15
What's the Class T-1?
Level 442 - "Forget Me Not" / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page Level 442 - "Forget Me Not".
(account deleted) 16 Nov 2024 12:15
it was a custom class i made for this level (also this reminded me to add the sd-class-other tag tysm)
Harvest
:3 :3
I will say that due to the repetitiveness of some of the other field levels, this was better than I expected, but not perfect.
The clinical tone segments convey what they intend to effectively, although it does repeat things that are close together sometimes, and doesn't mention the most prominent danger in the level until halfway through the page. The "unknown safety" rating also doesn't make much sense, since it's clearly described later that there are no physical threats, only the psychological one. This is going to deduct a point from the rating.
As for the interjection sections from whatever entity controls the level, I don't see any issues with it that the clinical sections did, and it makes proper use of more complex language without feeling too bloated. However, it does seem to make a shift in tone halfway through the page. At the start, it felt like the entity was warning you about the hazards of memory loss over time. but as it gets to the Phenomena paragraph, it feels like they start mocking people for being able to remember things. I'm also not sure why they say "Why can't you remember?" in the image caption. The good and bad here balance each other out, so I'm not going to change the rating because of it.
I may be wrong here, but it does also feel like you only worked on the page by yourself, and didn't check for ways to fix some issues with the page. At the time of writing, there are a few SPaG errors scattered throughout the page, the image license is incompatible, and the link to the M.E.G isn't functional. As always, I would suggest using the forum or Discord and asking for critique, which would prevent these problems. I'd take half a point away for this, as it's not detrimental to the whole page, but it also makes it look like it was done with less effort.
For other points, the page did keep me interested enough to read it all, but it didn't invoke much emotion. The page also does fit the memory horror genre, and it's clear that it's part of that.
Overall, 3.5/5. Enough for me to upvote it, but there are still some improvements to be done.
Thank you for the review :3
As for most of the problems, this was primarily a side project I was doing on the sandbox wiki. i was not aware of the deadline being the 15th for promptcon and so when I saw that I scrambled to submit it. (also for the m.e.g link: i forgot that the link for the m.e.g was "the-m-e-g" and not "m-e-g")
Thank you for taking the time to review my page and i will be sure to try and fix these problems when i have time.
Harvest
:3 :3
Some advice for next time though. Don't repeat information, especially in such a short story. Essentially, the first bits of the first two paragraphs describe the same thing. Next time, merge them together and have the description be the introductory paragraph.
Thank you for the advice :3 i'll be sure to keep that in mind for future things I write!
Harvest
:3 :3
The field watches, and you will leave it in pieces, scattered like the wildflowers beneath your feet.
This pushed me to upvote; the atmosphere was very evocative. Echoing Signet, you shouldn't repeat information without purpose, but other than that, it's pretty neat :>
thank you! :3 as for the repetition I honestly just didn't know what to put in the actual description that wouldn't repeat the intro without being too short. :3
Harvest
:3 :3
one way to use repetition to your advantage is to slowly reveal/change the context of what you are repeating. since this article deals with memory, this might be great for some mind-screwy moments. anyways, nice werk
(also, you could join the official discord to seek out more critters. the forum is kinda dead).
…but now, for some reason, I have forgotten why.
Your friend and colleague,
Goerman
http://backrooms-wiki.wikidot.com/goerman
OMG ROBERT GOERMAN MY HERO (thx for the +1 :3)
Harvest
:3 :3
ok so i saw some random yt vid of a kid going over my level and he said the level had no exit so just to clarify: the level can be exited it's just random and after a long time :3
Harvest
:3 :3
Because of this wiki's license, the image isn't compliant and needs to be replaced. For a list of compliant licenses, visit the http://backrooms-wiki.wikidot.com/image-use-policy
returning to this for my 1:00 am binge. my previous opinions on this one holds :>
+1
/forum/t-16986532/level-442-forget-me-not#post-