Hello Error012, I just read your article and the following is my conceptual evaluation of the article (I am not good at SPaG)
All this after I was born in this place called "The Backrooms" that interested me so much.
This sentence is a bit bad, just like I don't know how to write "All this after I was born in this place called 'The Earth' that interested me so much." So I suggest that you make some modifications, changes to settings or deletions are both possible options.
Diary
Day 3 - Nothing yet…
Today there was almost nothing interesting, I just did rescue missions with my friends and nothing else. That was boring…
My God…
I don't think in a worldview, a rescue mission would be boring, especially since the diary owner has just become M E. G. Agent.
Substitute yourself as the diary writer when writing. Under normal circumstances, a diary is a private item, and when writing, one should consider being the only reader. Usually, information at a certain level must be uploaded or brought out by wanderers. You can refer to Lv152 and write about how the diary was obtained by other people, rather than making your dangerous level a boring dead end with only danger written.
The format of this document breaks conventions and is presented in a diary, which I think is quite good. But this is a Level Document, and I believe that having only stories in a level document is far from enough. It is very clich é d to use only stories to explain what hierarchy it is. You can add stories to the appendix, or place the level document in the middle or at the end of the story.
Furthermore, from the information I have obtained in the document, it appears that there is too little information on Level 556, while there is more content unrelated to Level 556. It is recommended to delete or add more content.
I hope my suggestions can help you, have a pleasant writing experience! (Note: My native language is not English, I use a translator, and I also use a translator to read articles)
