Fortunately, you no longer have to wait for criticism because Dragon has arrived!
Although it’s “position” seems to be different to the other levels, you will know what I mean if you make it there
"Position" is confusing, I don't understand what you mean, what do I need to make?
it seems to be a small island-beach, there is an ocean to one side and a dark forest to the other
This sentence is unclear and there is no period. My suggestion is to change it to: "The environment of Level 997 is similar to a small island, surrounded by a deep blue and endless sea. There is a dense forest on the island, and the dense canopy blocks most of the light, making people feel dark."
When you arrive here, you will be unconscious, this period can last from just 2 hours to up to 3 days (after 3 days your body shocks you awake, knowing you will die soon if you do not eat and drink soon death is imminent)
How does the body shock people? I feel puzzled. I suggest modifying it this way: "When wanderders come to Level 997, they are initially almost imperceptible - because wanderders who come to Level 997 lose consciousness for two hours to three days. The cause of this event is unknown, but it always ends before the body's metabolism is completely stopped."
Be careful for there seems to be some entities that h#!,?&"»»»»»»»»>
What's wrong with the entity? Is there an entity here? Speak clearly, writing like this will make your article appear outdated.
After you wake up, the thick feel of the air instantly hits you. You are drawn towards the ocean, with the feeling of wanting to dissappear (complimented by the fact that people who have made it here are mostly have been wandering for quite the while and are on the edge of losing sanity), but then the shock of looking into the ocean hits.
What's "the thick feel of air"? Speak clearly, it is best not to write an article with tampered text unless you are confident in your indirect description.
the dark forest is opposite to the ocean.
This is a fact, please move it to the beginning of the article. If you want to introduce offset 1, please try another method.
Tho confirmed it is not, also please note that this only works if the person does not know of this level, if said person did know of this level, they will probably die.
Do you want to say "The"?
So do NOT try this yourself, now that you know of this level
Why does someone want to try? I can't figure it out. I haven't seen any advantages at this level. Also, there is no period, second time.
Another way, from the original records in the Cygnus archive is to survive 100,000 hours (a bit more the 11.4 years) in the backrooms, you will be force-no clipped into this level.
Is this level related to the Cygnus Archive? I didn't see it. Also, it's "no-clip".
Taking one of the doors after exploring quite a bit
Uh, where does it say there's a door here? Please don't keep all your ideas for yourself and don't let others know. Did you not finish writing it? There is no period, it's the third time.
filename
Do you have no pictures at all? If there is, please fix the picture box. If not, please delete it. And you didn't write a description for the picture.
as i approached the ocean, i had a warm feeling, as if i was finally doing the right thing with 100% certainty, but all this washes away when i looked into the ocean. i saw myself, but not "me".
Capitalize the first letter. Firstly, what happened to this person? What did he see in the sea? Or did he see his own copy? I still haven't understood the nature of this level, your description is too limited.
but the time it took me to ask myself this question it was too late. the ocean was nowhere to be seen. i was in the forest
Firstly, the SPaG problem is enormous. Secondly, what is inside the forest, your description is very unclear.
the tree roots were starting to envelop me, i tried to break free but i was being pulled into the ground. as this happened all the sins ive commited and the wrongdoings i have done came back to me, not willingly, it was as if something was forcing me to think of them. i started thinking i deserved this, thinking back to the ocean i could see all ive ever done wrong. it made me scream, how much pain ive caused, how much sadness
Are there tree spirits in the forest? Are they causing mental harm or punishing guilty people? Who wrote this diary?
after i do not know how long i woke up. the dirt was gone, i was free. i then went and wrote down about this onto asome pages i found lying around and placed them in a book i found interesting.
these pages are the ones you just read
Ah, this ending surprised me! Surprisingly, it wasn't the entity that tampered with the document? Did I not see anything?
Your article never made me clear what you were writing from beginning to end. You need to enrich your content and correct SpaG errors.
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I_am_a_dragon
Kosuken, 24 Feb 2024 22:53