loved it
sam and jo better get together or I'm not paying you your 500 dollars back.
some wee criticisms
first of all I feel like this story is a bit too frontroomsy. I didn't even cop on that it was taking place in the backrooms until Level 11 was first mentioned — I thought the characters were going to clip in later. they use real currency, IOUs, the guy is worried about losing his job if he goes missing for a week (there is no way your boss can't excuse you going missing for a week in the fccgking backrooms lmao). This continues further down the story and it just feels like the setting is underutilised.
Does the Backrooms have noon? Does the hub have noon?
I think you should be more subtle with your use of alcohol in the story as a means of characterising Sam. one of the main concrete descriptors of him is how he smells of drink, and it keeps getting mentioned over and over during the story. "Instead it was my trail to him" was a bit silly lol but I think using this as the sole way to characterize him as depressed is a bit bland. we're told his appartment is depressing, but the description isn't very vivid. a better picture would serve to characterize him more. the fact that the narrator actually states, after the point is stressed over and over, that the idea is that Sam drinks a lot because he's sad about his gf leaving him… it just needs to be a bit more subtle I think.
good points
this story's groundedness helps its world feel believable. you get the sense they the boss character, even though he's not prominently featured, has his own internal world and needs money to keep his business afloat. Very good stuff.
This does make me invested in Sam and Jo's journey and I'm pretty hype.
You promised you'd take me there again some day… but you never did.