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Gave it a crit and this definitely has my approval . The offset is easily the best part (due to a lot of the emotions and it reminds me a lot of how I plan to write Val and Olivia’s friendship to a certain degree which is a huge compliment.) but the Vincent interview is also amazing and the level description itself can be interesting. Good job you three, have a good Star.
my one thing is that the description would be much more effective if it stopped putting things in terms of what "seems to" be.
Cupid has never shown any hostility, even towards entities. She seems hesitant to attack even the most dangerous of creatures and often expresses pity towards them.
As stated by Parmigiano in his interview, Cupid is well beloved by the Butlerflies, all of which seem to know and greatly appreciate her. She seems to always return the affection.
Cupid has never shown any hostility, even towards entities. She's hesitant to attack even the most dangerous of creatures and often expresses pity towards them.
As stated by Parmigiano in his interview, Cupid is well beloved by the Butlerflies, all of which know and greatly appreciate her. She always returns the affection.
when something is known for sure, don't qualify it with a "seems to" — it distances the reader from the action instead of engaging them in it
You promised you'd take me there again some day… but you never did.
OK but seriously this is good, I love how if you know what she looks like it's obvious who Cupid is, and how the M.E.G are just oblivious cause they don't know. Also VICNET D OKES NOW IN PANHEON WOOHOO
I will not vote yet, but I sincerely believe that you don't need to put digitally drawn images for every single characters of yours, especially since some of these have a seriously immersion-breaking art style.
The artists put a lot of effort into the art, it's fair to use it in the article and give them the compliments they deserve. I find quite confusing that you wouldn't vote just because there's digital art images in an article. It absolutely doesn't break immersion and it actually makes the article look prettier and more polished.
This is very off-topic but I just wanted to say I love your new pfp, it's much better than the default ";)" one you would have. I love strawberry cake but I have to say raspberries»strawberries imo.
- Univ
If it were me, I would have added the images in a fan-art collapsible in the comments section of this page.
You're free to disagree, I just think that if you really want to insert drawn images, some of the more cartoonish/anime art styles are less fitting for a in-universe page than others. For example, I don't have a massive issue with the drawing for the Hotelier, it does look like a sketch someone might realistically draw after seeing him. I can't say the same for Cupid, though I suppose it is reflective of her visibly good-hearted and innocent nature.
The reason I have not voted is because I didn't form a fully fledged opinion towards your level. My comment about the digital drawings was meant to address something that I have seen more than once on this wiki that bothers me.
That's literally my art style though, I drew Cupid. I cannot change my art style and I have no money to go ask commissions. It was already a huge favour that I got the other drawings for free, I have to work with what I have. And just because someone is in the backrooms it doesn't mean their cartoonish art style stops existing. Even if it was traditionally drawn, I would have drawn it exactly the same.
Numerous SPaG mistakes, and a poor conceptual execution leaves me disappointed with what is presented; in fact, I'd go as far as saying that the current state of this article is below what should be expected from the average page. Clauses, sentences, and paragraphs have a hard time flowing into each other, concepts come off as being added only for effect rather than thematic cohesiveness, and there's a severe lack of showing compared to the amount of telling. I'd hope for more from writing that our more established authors participated in.
Just one step / till the next step.
It was greenlighted and received plenty of crit. Including tons of SPaG, I will simply interpret it as you having extreme standards.
Lol no Graph is right here.
Even that first paragraph alone felt choppy in sentence structure and it kinda hurt my head to read, and if it's present right from the getgo it's present for the rest of the document. It doesn't matter how many crits this goes through, you can still allow someone to acknowledge issues when they see them.
(I know this is gonna be screenshotted into the Pantheon server, I see you Mickey lmao)
GUH WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?!1!
Silly Eden I only screenshot things when they are funny
I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE MICKEY
The whole world has gone crazy.
How are SPaG issues extreme standards? I really don't understand how you're interpreting it as such, especially without knowing the specifics.
Goodness, wikidot has a weird account system. What's this weird forum signature thi
Perfection is not a human trait.
It is a Faceling trait. (See Level 246 for details.)
Anything and everything can be improved.
One day at a time.
You have my upvote.
Your friend and colleague,
Goerman
http://backrooms-wiki.wikidot.com/goerman
interesting concept, unfocused execution.
-1
(account deleted)