Level 368 - "Superfluity" / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Level 368 - "Superfluity".

+1

Floxk 14 Jan 2023 05:29

SNIPE!

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Cast off thy veil of ignorance and arrogance, for I shall not waste eloquence on deaf ears or closed minds. Go forth, and trouble me no more with thy insipid company.

-1

Kai4C 14 Jan 2023 16:02

I liked:

• Nice theme. Love the zoom on the pic especially.
• Interesting concept.

I did not like:

• SPaG is really not great. Lots of errors ("litered", "and nor does these flames", "spontaniously") that I'm surprised slipped through.
• The "flames of trial" literary thematic idea is introduced in a way that's far too on-the-nose. You seem to have just dumped it entirely into the "Additional Information" section in one chunk, when you could have weaved it more carefully and poetically throughout the article. "Show not tell" is a principle that seems to have been neglected here…

Respect you greatly as an author, but this just ain't doin it for me. Sorry :/

Last edited on 14 Jan 2023 16:04 by Kai4C Show more

+1

Ericote 18 Jan 2023 17:19

This Level was fire! Pun intended, heh.

• Great sense of liminality.
• Accomplishes a nice immersion feel, even the more if one reads the page using the ambience button.
• Unexpected insinuation near the end, that people's "unnecesary ambitions" get burnt away, which added a really fitting, unique and cool twist.

Overall, Level 368 accomplished being an experience of its own too, and deserves a +1 from me!

Btw, there is one instance in which you made a typo, "into the levelf is believed…" Just so you know.

Last edited on 18 Jan 2023 17:21 by Ericote Show more

+1

basement12345 03 Feb 2023 14:17

neat level, but there is a clone of the first image on the third image template

1:00 am binge-read session

centurys lute 21 Jan 2025 21:57

Interesting concept, clumsy and ham-fisted execution. The twist in the addendum lacks set-up and comes out of nowhere. The rest of the article is too preoccupied with describing physical attributes of the level without highlighting the details that would tie the location to its theme. The most we ever get is a paragraph on the level burning certain objects on the wanderer's person, but the extent of the symbolism there is shallow. It tells us what isn't affected, but not what is, and what isn't affected by the fire is sometimes affected anyways, because might as well as this point. Most of the page reads as filler, which is a shame because everything here should be pieces to this grand, interconnecting puzzle.

-1

Last edited on 21 Jan 2025 21:57 by centurys lute Show more