Many thanks for C-Graph for their greenlight.
I saw this as a draft, and I appreciated its sleek and subtle use of fancy CSS, and it's collapsible, unintruisive content warning.
The CSS basically works on mobile, but I'd love to help make a mobile-oriented version of the "yellow" thing that displays on mobile it you'd like!
You promised you'd take me there again some day… but you never did.
Wake up babe new best tale just dropped
There are roads,
a samurai must travel…
holy saria i thouht you were gone
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This tale is definitely one of the best ones I’ve seen on site. I knew it was going to be good the minute I saw Spanglish included (algún artículo que incluye ambos inglés y español probablemente va a ser muy bueno ;).
One thing I think could have been improved upon is the exposition and the side character. The opening is very good with imagery and characterization, but I notice the protagonist’s companion appears to be quickly cast to the wayside after the protagonist’s entry into the Backrooms. I feel like this would’ve been a more prominent plot point given how close the two appeared to be. Comments here and there concerned about what she’s thinking, if she knows she’s even gone, etc. I also may have missed it, but it appeared to be unclear exactly who said companion was. Was it the sister? A friend? I wasn’t sure.
This is a very minor, insignificant issue however that I only noticed after my third read through and pondering the article for a bit on a walk. Overall, the imagery and storytelling is fantastic. I’m in extremely strong opposition to minimalism and short stories as a concept because they’re almost never done right and come off as either underdeveloped or dry in nature, but I think this is probably one of the rare exceptions where it is executed near perfectly. Very good job. You definitely earned my upvote.
what exactly is happening in the tale?
hi it is me aaron92
A character with xanthophobia takes up an unpleasant job (see content warning) to survive. This messes with her mentally, so she starts perceiving things oddly. Then she finds a copy of a room she's familiar with somehow inside the Backrooms with a cassette playing her favorite song, which brings her back to reality.
I'm not sure if that's what you meant or if something else was confusing.
I really appreciate the vote but also recommend not upvoting if you don't know what's going on.
ok thank you
hi it is me aaron92