snipers get more head /j
good article, short and simple
Absolute secrecy must be upheld by any means necessary ~ The Vault
snipers get more head /j
good article, short and simple
Absolute secrecy must be upheld by any means necessary ~ The Vault
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I'm having a stroke trying to read that
A definite improvement from my last crit. You stopped using the same words repeatedly, which is great, and haven't made any *big* mistakes. There are a couple awkward word choices, and you definitely could've been a bit more selective with the way you worded its creation process, but there was nothing that would constitute it as *wrong*. In addition to that, you placed the way it tastes under the psychological effects, which doesn't make much sense. Lastly, is the video at the end transcribed by the MEG, or is it just a good ol' lore addition? If it's by the MEG, then the visual and auditory descriptions could've been described better.
Other than those, I can't really point out anything that would make it a deal-breaker for me. Maybe a couple missing "then" and conjunctions, but those get subjective and aren't required for something to make sense. It's a good addition to the site. +1 from me
Just one step / till the next step.
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AYO GRAPH THAT YOU?
Really enjoyable article with a surprisingly dangerous ability. The image is very good the creation process is cool and the final lines of the forgotten king is interesting. The back colors of the text is unique and does work pretty well honestly. Overall very good article and enjoyed it quite a bit.
Glad to see you enjoyed it! Also, about the liquid pain thing, Object 12 is for the rewrite which is the value my page had originally but I was notified of it after posting so changed my Object's value later lmao.
Get yourself friends who will drug you with magical gum "as a prank" and record you having an existential awakening
So this is the gum that Stands on your stomach for 7 years.
I know, I can do it.
Yes, you would be paralyzed for 7 years if you swallow gum
Jokes Aside, it actually stays for 7 days. Your digestive system cant break gum normally.
I know, I can do it.
Simple concept, simple execution.
This object doesn't need to exist, but that's fine. It doesn't have stuff built off it and it doesn't have much relevance to most stories but the idea of malicious candy is very good (even if it's been done 4 times so far). The tale and horror of it is pretty good and "What if the prank goes wrong" is such an unexplored part of the horror genre. Good job, +1.
If you were to change anything (and this doesn't apply only to you, I say it all the time), add a use or tradition associated with it. It's one thing to have a candy people have horrible experiences with, it's another for it to be used in association with Backrooms traditions. If I were to suggest one, maybe have it as a hazing ritual in a minor organization, group or team. Make it have more relevance to the wider Backrooms.
tl:dr Pretty good all things considered. It has room to grow and it could be more important but how it is rn is fine.
Not the longest page I've seen, but sometimes a shorter page is better. I also think it's hilariously accurate that the guy's friends don't even try to help him when it gets out of hand, just continuing to film it.