my level 445
my level 445
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» my level 445
Summary:
the acid city
Your Draft has a few grammar mistakes and the placement of the words seems very off for me, and it's not all bad if you have time to download a grammar app like Grammarly and run your entire page in it, and if you have older friends ask them to this over with you, trust me this helped me a lot when I did it
Overall
Word placement: 3/10
Grammar: 6/10 maybe spice up your vocabulary
Potential: 7/10 I like the idea but it made me lose interest
Overall 4.7 the level is good but it needs the stuff I listed.
-Unix
If something seems impossible, then you may have to give up a piece of yourself and to give up something so important for just a small chance, would you take it.
Hey, dude! Nice article, some grammar mistakes, but that can be fixed if my ADHD doesn’t kick in.
() is something I’m highlighting/saying, and [] is something I’m suggesting.
Level 445 is the 446’th level of the Backrooms. It takes form of an abandoned city.
Before we move on to your next paragraph, you spelled Description as “Descripcion.”
Level 445 is an abandoned city with big craters full of acid, most likely from the acid rain. The sewage system has boxes with medical objects, the origin of these are unknown. The sky is mostly dark greenish in color, covered with clouds of the same color. Sometimes, there are storms. [These storms are normally] acid rain, [so it is advised to take shelter as soon as the clouds get a bit darker.] Inside the abandoned buildings, you can find food, drinking water, clean clothes, and on rare occasions almond water. A strange property of these buildings is that they look abandoned from the outside, but inside they are in excellent condition. [We believe it] explains the presence of the objects mentioned above, but, [several wanderer’s have reported that the items] materialize on their own. The one, small problem with these buildings is that there is no electricity. Buildings made of wood, limestone, and other similar materials does not show no harm from acid rain.
In addition to the buildings, there are also houses with a basement or attic.
(of the frontrooms.)[This does not make sense.]
Entities time.
Level 445 is inhabited by Facelings
To add Links, simply copy the page link, so: http://backrooms-wiki.wikidot.com/level-11, then place a |(this is not a L, but a vertical bar) along with what you want to name the link with. Then, put three brackets; [[[. For Example, The Endless City. Without the brackets, it would be http://backrooms-wiki.wikidot.com/level-11 | The Endless City
and Smilers hiding in the dark corners of basements or attics.
Ok, I removed a lot of your entities, simply because a lot of them do not make sense. Entities does make a level dangerous and creepy, however they have to make sense. It simply cannot be, “they came here by mistake,” for every entity. So, for example, an Imposter would make sense in Level 11, since it’s where the most humans are, and it’s not a nuclear wasteland. The entities are not immortal, all powerful beings that can withstand about everything(well, except for some, but they’re mostly singular and stay in their own levels), they can be killed if followed some sort of directions. Now, since I don’t know entities all that well, I can try to see which entities fit and which don’t if asked, but I won’t be the best adviser for that.
Level 445 even has its own entities called Spitters and Devourers.
The Spitters are flesh like beings, with 1 completely green eye, 6 horns, 4 arms with 6 claws, sharp teeth, and they wear destroyed radiation suits. As their name suggests, they usually attack from a distance by spitting balls of acid formic, and rarely attack with melee. Spitters are extremely fast, resilient, and intelligent, capable of organizing hunting strategies.
The Devourers are amorphous masses of acetic acid. They are 3 meters high and 1 meter wide. The Devourers have a very large mouth, eyes all over their body, and arms of 7 meters.
In addition to the storms and acid rains, there is an event called, “The Sweep," in which 5-10 spitters and 3 devourers will come out of each acidic craters, becoming hostile to all other living beings, including other entities. During these events, the Facelings will stop being hostile to the nomads, and concentrate on hiding from the spitters and devourers. [After this event ends, friendly entities will stop being friendly when out of eyesight.]
Level 445 was discovered when an anonymous nomad1
To add footnotes, simply put two brackets together and put footnote in them. Write between them, then do step one again, with a / before the footnote.2
mapped the landscape of Level 445. After a while of looking for ways to get in, the methods were finally found.
Entrances and Exits
Entrances:
[No clipping in a grocery store of The End of the F#c*ing World will result in you in a grocery store here.
Exits:
By asking a M.E.G. outpost, a wanderer will escort you to a crater that you can no clip to Level 11 from.
So, there’s a small amount of problems with this.
First off, your start is well informed, however, at the end, it slowly gets more and more rushed. Eventually, you don’t even contain the Entrances and Exits format. My advice is to take your time. Make sure every single sword is sharpened and perfected. Take look at other articles, and try your best to compare yours to them(while still being unique, remember!).
Second, Your Entrances, Exits, and Entities do not make sense. You can’t just put every entity in a level, call it SD5, say they got there in accident, and call it a day. Rather, turn this in a learning opportunity, make it so that those entities have changed due to the acid. Like the Facelings have more endurance, or they’re now glowing bright green. Be creative with every entity! Remember to give the reason on how they got there.
Third, formatting mistakes. Footnote, Page links, such other things as that are weird. If you have problems with formatting, simply ask it in the Questions Forum!
Fourth, your groups. You simply put, “there are only 5 groups of survivors..” That isn’t enough. Again, take your time, and make those groups. We gotta know what these groups are.
1 is low, 10 is high.
Description: 8
Entities: 5
Groups: 1
Discovery: 2
Entrances and Exits: 1
Overall Rating: 3.4. However, don’t take this as, “you should quit,” take this as a opportunity to learn and be better. I can guarantee that you will get better over time, even most of the best authors look back at their first article and cringe at the sight of em.
〰️🌱
~🌱
the changes will be made in a few hours because my phone has 3% but I will modify it soon
If I put stuff here I'd just be repeating what everyone else said before me. There are definite SPaG errors ridiculing the article and a lot of fluff that could probably be cut of (and I have a lot of it as a protogen!).
Maybe in the future there's a greenlight. Keep writing!
Absolute secrecy must be upheld by any means necessary ~ The Vault
It…still needs some more updates. Keep working, though.
~🌱
/forum/t-14536573/my-level-445#post-