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Level 499 - "Terrestrial Paradise" / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page Level 499 - "Terrestrial Paradise".
Wow I loved this article. From the brain tickling sciency stuff, to the simplicity of the complexity (if that makes sense), and general writing was just really cool. The whole experiment log stuff in the middle I especially loved, with the attention to detail and cool pictures. Overall I really liked it and I have very little to say about it except +1
9-10/10 = Excellent!
7-8/10 = Good!
5-6/10 = Ok.
3-4/10 = Bad.
1-2/10 = Terrible…
0/10 = Awful…
Idea
Creativity: 8/10
It's a pretty creative level, the idea of lakes on walls, upside down trees, and whole string of rooms that seem like they're outside but aren't is terrifying to think of, and immediately made me claustrophobic.
Expansion on the idea: 6/10
The research notes add some much needed flavour to this article, but the main problem is that without them or something similar to them, this would've been a pretty bland article. The catacombs are brought up only once, and there's a structure in the photo but no explanation to it, or any possible idea behind what it could be. Furthermore, the presence of AI is only mentioned. Perhaps some mentions of a discovery of the group operating there or whatnot? Overall, some more expansion on the world of Level 499 could've been good.
Intrigue: 8/10
The logs add a lot to the intrigue of the level, and the fact that some plants have animal cells inside of them makes me want to know a whole lot about them. There was no resolution given to the plants being that way in the article, which works both against and for the article, in the sense that you don't learn more (encouraging you to read onwards for future possible explanations in future AI article), but leaving it a bit barren since there's no follow up to those emails, or a possible hook.
Worldbuilding: 10/10
I don't really have much to say here other than a well deserved good job, the worldbuilding in this article (Mainly thanks to the logs) is immaculate.
General Writing:
Execution: 7.5/10
As mentioned earlier, there's a thorough lack of explanation regarding some of the elements of the level (Catacombs. Why are they important enough to mention if you don't explain what they're made of, what they have in them, etc), but other than that, the rest of the article is executed pretty well.
SPaG: 8.5/10
A few inconsistencies here and there, but there isn't much to be nitpicky on since it's more of a general flow thing. Here's an example.
Wanderers traversing the level are not so lucky, however, as they only experience gravity in one direction; down.
If it had been done as such:
Wanderers traversing the level do not experience the same leniency with Level 499's gravity however, as the gravitational pull of the level only pulls them downwards.
There's also some commas I'd have added in some places, but that's just me — grammar and the such are correct here.
Structuring and formatting: 9/10
Communities and outposts, as well as (any other) entities are missing, but seeing as those are optional, I can't really complain much here
Did I enjoy reading this?
Yes
Overall verdict:
I'd have liked for some ideas to be expanded upon some more (I bring up once more the catacombs, which you've probably gotten sick of me talking about), and maybe some more information about the presence of AI in the level, but this is a setting, and not a standalone story in itself, so all the other info is mostly in the other AI articles. Overall, this is a solid. Good job plant people writers, you did a good job!
+1
There are roads,
a samurai must travel…
interesting idea, dull execution. there's barely anything here to chew on before it's just over.
-1
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