Contrary to the crowd, this is written somewhat badly. The concept itself is great, and I loved the approach you took when writing this. However, clinical tone wise, this is written very badly.
These creatures are zombie like humans that went insane in the backrooms.
This is written incorrectly, and should instead be "Insanities are humans who went insane inside of The Backrooms." The part about zombie-like should be in a separate sentence.
Only one picture was taken when they were terminated.
This line makes no sense at all, I think you mean only one when they were alive, but either way it needs to be reworded.
They are usually found in the lower Levels, and are pretty common.
No clinical tone is present in this sentence.
This usually starts when a Human goes insane in The Backrooms. after a while they will start to attack people, and they will start to act like a Skin-Stealer, their skin will become more reddish, and they will develop holes on their body, and develop a Large smile over time.
This is a run-on sentence. Moreover, it's rather bad, and needs work.
These Entities were once human before, so some might not attack.
This needs to be rephrased, to include the phase parts.
This is a final work, so I'm not gonna go through and nit-pick at every little detail. just note that there is very little clinical tone present in this article.
I really enjoyed this for the concept, as I've stated before. However, its execution, specifically, the clinical tone part, was rather bad, and needs to be reworked. I'd suggest completely rewriting the description and behaviors, going way more in-depth in the biology and behavior section, and rewording the do's and don'ts section. The discovery seems fine to me, other than a slight lack of clinical tone. I'd suggest only hyperlinking Almond Water once, and going through for plural capitalization.
However, as this article stands, it gets to keep my -1.
I fixed the collapsible for mobile readers
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