The sound of an electric guitar riff blasted inside the casino. Rockstar was having the time of his life performing for an unenthusiastic audience, or at least he was, as long as he kept up the same face he put on everyone else. At the final chorus, his fingers let go of the strings.
"Thank you, thank you! I'm so glad I can finally show off my new song 'Roachie Rockin Madness' to all of you! Now… uhhh… well, I gotta save you all some time and hop off the stage. See you tomorrow, everyone! (Well, if Louie would host another night show, at least.)"
Rockstar disappeared behind the curtains, making his way through the backstage.
"Great… nobody roared, nobody cheered, nobody even laughed. But it's okay… Rockstar, you did a great job today! Your new song is so good! Everyone loved it, they just don't have the words to say it… yeah, yeah, I guess so."
Suddenly, he saw 2 familiar faces in the distance. Louie, the casino manager with a five-ball for an eye… and The Comedian.
"Hey Rockstar, can you get this drunkard on stage?"
"Huh… what's up with xem? Also, didn't know you can carry xem without much trouble."
"You think? Anyway, xe had a few too many drinks tonight."
"Hehe… it's just… two? No, no… three bottles! Yeah just three bottles, I was having the TIME of my life, I tell ya.."
"Yeah, well, I can see that."
"We need xem onstage right now."
"What? No, we can't. Look at xem!"
"What do y-you… hic mean roachie? I'm doing just…. fineeeeeeeeeeee!"
"Beast is gonna kill us all if we didn't finish off tonight's schedule, you know him."
"Yeah but xe is definitely not ready for the stage. Can't we at least wait until xe is sober? Xe is gonna embarrass xemself in front of the crowd!"
"Xe has already embarrassed xemselves multiple times already, this should be a no-brainer for xem. Now, clock is ticking. Can you take your beloved on stage already?"
"(Beloved?!) Oh yeah uhhh… I guess I'll do it."
Rockstar walked Comedian with one arm over his shoulders. Xe is surprisingly muscular, while Rockstar was far from the brawny type, which made xem difficult to take around. But with enough effort, he managed to walk Comedian onto the stage.
Some time later…
Rockstar walked from the backstage and decided to take a seat in the audience this time. He rarely got the chance to watch Comedian perform xir stand-up routines, he was busy dealing with his equipment. But now Rockstar was intrigued at seeing his crush embarrass xemself drunk on stage. At the very least, it would be a funny sight to see.
"Mic test… one two, one two… ah, is… hic is this thing working?"
"It's working just fine, Comedian."
"Alrigh,t let's… hic get to the basics! So uhhh there's this guy… xe is uhh…"
Comedian was a one-trick pony, there was no denying that. Xir jokes always started with the same setup and is always about xir mishaps or personal life. Yet, Rockstar can never ignore xem. He liked the confidence that Comedian had displayed despite how much everyone hated xem. There was something so charming about xir pathetic jokes that makes Rockstar unable to look away. That he could hear the same joke over and over again and never get bored.
"(Xe looks so pretty onstage… God, just how the stage lights reflect off xir black fur… it's so… mesmerizing.)"
"So xe… walks into this bar, right… hic Right? And xe decided… hey! Can a furball like me chug down on three bottles of beer and survive? My friend… hic Louie dared me to drink it all… I mean, xe! Yeah, Louie dared XE to drink it all… hic"
"I… did not."
"Anyways, xe got so wobbly walking on stage, all distracted by all the… hic alcohol in xir veins. But you know what's even more distracting? Heh… xe can't even hic think straight…"
…
"…Y-ya guys are supposed to ask why!"
Random Tourist: "…Why?"
"Cause you… you know… hic I'm… XE! Xe, yes, xe, is NOT straight… can't stop looking at that… roach with the electric guitar."
…
"I— Huh?!"
"Yeah, a… hic pretty dashing individual! Heh…"
"(Is xe… talking about me?)"
"But anyways… hic I… No, XE, decided… wouldn't it be funny to… do stand up-comedy while hic drunk? Hehe, and you know what the funny thing is?"
…
"…I'm the xe! Bet none of you could've guessed that!"
…
Random Gambler: "Oh brother."
Random Rich Lady: "Why is this guy still working here?"
Random Tourist: "GET OFF THE STAGE DUDE!"
"Hey, hey, I still got more jokes to… hic tell! Like… Like…"
…
"…Well, y'all got me there! That's it for tonight's… hic greatest stand-up comedy show!"
Rockstar was lost in thought. He couldn't really believe what he had just heard. Could it be that all this time the person he's been crushing on had fallen for him too? That couldn't be true, right? It's too good to be true for someone as dreary as him. Comedian must've had too many drinks and made an easy joke by pointing at the closest person in the audience. But Xe had always been honest about xirself through xir jokes. Could it really be just for the show? Rockstar couldn't make up his mind, until—
"Rockstar I— Oh my god, why are you so heavy?"
"Hehe… Just… hic… look at my biceps, dude!"
"Rockstar, can you take xem to xir hotel room? I can't carry xem around like this… agh!"
"…"
"…Hello? Earth to Rockstar?"
"Ah, I'm so sorry Louie! I gotta practice my next song!"
"This late? That's unusual for y—"
"Buhbye!"
"ROCKSTAR! COME ON!!!"
In Rockstar's room…
That night, Rockstar couldn't sleep at all. That joke Comedian made kept on replaying in his thoughts. He couldn't get over how it had played out so casually. Rockstar stayed there sitting on his bed, staring at his electric guitar. He want to at least not make it a lie to Louie but he just couldn't drown his thoughts.
He kept on staring at his own hands and body, trying to check if it was all just a dream. Maybe he fell asleep after finishing his song and was still onstage right now. Maybe he never got the chance to play in the first place and just went to sleep early. But it's all real.
Rockstar had always believed that everything good that happened in his life was merely the result of coincidence or convenience. None of it would ever be genuine. He had held it deep in his mind ever since he was young. But when it comes to today, things weren't adding up. And he finally asked the question—
"When will I stop being like this?"
The next day…
Rockstar hadn't gotten enough sleep that night, but he managed to shove whatever thoughts he was thinking yesterday deep into the back of his mind, as if he could forget them. All he want to do now is maintain the loud persona and do his usual morning routine. He made his way to Chef's restaurant to steal some soda cans from any wanderers that might've brought one with them.
"Good morning, everyone!"
"Good morning, Roachie!"
"A-ah! Good morning, Comedian… you're sober?"
"Yeah, ya know, I've had way more bottles before, this is nothing!"
"What are you doing here though? You always eat your food in the staff lounge."
"Well, Concierge ate up my salad again… the entire container too… But now I'm also craving some of those crazy good meat pies!"
"(Yeesh, xe doesn't know?) Ah, I see."
"Why not have a seat with me, Roachie?"
"S-sure! I uhhh… don't wanna eat though."
"More for lil old me!"
"So, Comedian I wanted to ask uh…"
"About what?"
Rockstar hesitated for a second. He could've asked Comedian right here about what had happened in yesterday's show. If he did, he'd let go off all of his worries, all of his doubts, and he could at least tell his crush the truth. But Rockstar had always feared the truth…
"…Never mind."