Ballace stared at the stalacmite in front of him, deeply puzzled. This did not at all match his memory of the appearance of Level 52. He glanced at Con‐Rad, who simply gave a shrug and took yet another step. Ever since Ballace had led him to the level, the atmosphere had been rather awkward.
Confetti-Radical was the first to break the silence: "Where the funsies is the school?"
"Should be just around the corner, silly ol' Con‐Rad," Ballace reassured.
"The corner? I laugh," responded Con‐Rad. He did not laugh.
"Hmm, mayhap we should check the database."
"Guess so," Con‐Rad replied, already navigating to the correct page using his PartyWatch.
"Loving this place so far, it's-" Ballace began before getting interrupted by a loud pop. His air balloon dropped to the ground, having collided with the tip of a stalactite.
"This says aballoonlutely nothing about a school. What parties you been to?" Con‐Rad snapped, accompanied by a rhetorical question. It was a common expression among their kind.
"Could've sworn it was a school. Whatever. We better get outta here."
"This says we have to find like a tight tunnel for that. Sounds super boring."
"Well, what else is there to do?"
When the sound of footsteps became audible mere seconds after, it was as if the universe itself had given a response. The two partygoers hid behind a rock, observing carefully as a figure stepped on the edge of a cliff above them, before retreating into the shadows. When enough time had passed, the bickering restarted, as if it had never stopped.
"That's what there's to do, silly," Con‐Rad began.
"Defo. We've found a human, so we can set up a party!"
"You're one hilarious clown. We're Partygoers! We capture humans and convert them into our own!"
"Yeah, obviously, but after that we'll set up a party," Ballace responded, cracking a smile. Well, a red smile was already carved into his face, but still.
Con‐Rad, who liked partying as much as any other Partygoer, had no objection. However, he was concerned about practical matters: "How the funsies are we going to catch him? Or, uhh, I guess the human might not be a man-"
"Yeah, he might be a boy!"
"Not what I meant. Anyways, any ideas for catching them?"
"Trap him."
"Sure."
"Balloon trap."
"I thought your air balloon popped already, though?"
"Not the case. Well, yes the case, but I've got a new one," Ballace screeched and pointed at the ceiling. Con‐Rad saw nothing there—nothing, before a balloon suddenly floated up, having been released by Ballace. After this, he did see something—a balloon in the ceiling, attached to a rope, itself attached the Ballace's hand. In fact, there was a very distinct lack of a lack of balloon in the ceiling, which Con‐Rad did perceive. This sudden manifestation of a lack of a lack of a balloon, though explained and in a way caused by the balloon in the ceiling, was in the end, as the rope connecting both it and the hand of Ballace might suggest, the result of nothing other than the-
"Dang it, the balloon popped again. Those stalactites are no fun," Con‐Rad sighed.
"But they are! I've got a plenty of balloons, and I like when they pop!" Ballace replied. In approximately 10 seconds, another pop could be heard. Then a screech of joy. And then a sigh.
It was a miracle the two ever managed to catch up to their target and set up a trap. Not because their target was far away or hard to find—after all, the wet footsteps indicated he had ventured into the same dead end the two had thoroughly explored an hour ago. No, it was was a miracle simply because the pursuers happened to be Ballace and Con‐Rad. But there the two were, standing behind a rock. (Oh, now sitting behind a rock… and now bickering behind a rock.)
"Con‐Rad, this is no laughing matter. Where on Earth could he be?"
"Certainly not on Earth, this is the Backrooms."
"It's an idiot, you idiom… Scrap that — it's an idiom, idiot!"
"Sure. Though at this point he might as well be on Earth."
"Hmph. I'll go check if I can see him."
Ballace and Con‐Rad considered the trap they had set up to be ingenious. A string was tied across the cave. Upon trying to walk forwards, the victim would stumble on it and fall. The vibrations would cause a group of balloons to release, flying towards the ceiling. Their strings, carefully laid and tied across the floor, would then wrap around the victim, making them helplessly float upwards. The victim would now be easy to restrain and convert into a partygoer.
The trap was indeed ingenious. The issue was that its victim ended up being Ballace. To his credit, Ballace was very careful to avoid the string—well, on his way to the cave. However, when he ventured further in and saw the dim flash of headlamp in the distance, he rushed outwards without further thought. Before he had time to realize what had happened, he was floating in a net near the ceiling, almost fully incapacitated. How could he alert Con‐Rad?
At this point, Con‐Rad was beginning to get suspicious. When he heard a loud pop, he knew something had gone astray. Con‐Rad rushed into the cave, only to find the trap completely missing, along with Ballace. Who was not missing was the intended target of the trap—he simply stood there, staring at a rock with a pickaxe in his hands. And it seemed like he hadn't noticed Con‐Rad.
Con‐Rad realized his chance was now. He sneaked carefully from the back, ready to attack and convert the careless wanderer. Once a suitable distance away, Con‐Rad finally leaped towards his target.
His leap was cut short. Right at that moment, Ballace fell from the ceiling, landing right on him. The pair rolled downhill deeper into the cave, away from the lonely figure who was still cluelessly staring at the wall. Suddenly, the two were in the air, having rolled off a cliff. Though the fall was rather short, the water still came useful.
Once the two had swum to the "shore", Con‐Rad lay on the ground, thinking. Seeing his fury from the facial expression (ignoring that partygoers only have one), Ballace knew better than to interrupt Con‐Rad. When he finally stood up to present his plan, Ballace was unsurprised to find out it had something to do with confetti, a common motif in Confetti-Radical's ideas. However, as it was more functional than anything Ballace could think of, he reluctantly agreed.
"And where will we get the confetti cannons from?" Ballace doubted, still skeptical.
"The same place we got all those balloons from earlier."
"Oh, true, that makes sense. But how will we catch up to the human?"
"We don't have to. He's literally still standing there," Con‐Rad replied, pointing upwards to a wall lit by a headlamp. The plan could be put into action.
Con‐Rad and Ballace stood still, hidden behind a rock. Any moment now, the pickaxe-fellow would walk past them. They knew this to be the case based on the fact the other paths were all dead ends, whether by nature or whether by them having blocked them off with string. And once the target was in sight, they'd launch the confetti cannons at him, causing him to fall of into a hole on the other side of the path.
The plan was going perfectly—at least until Con‐Rad had a look at Ballace's cannon.
"You're holding it the wrong way. Turn it around, Ballace!"
"Ah, my bad," Ballace remarked and rotated the canon upside down.
"Not like that! You're holding it from the wrong end!"
"I don't get ya."
"Rotate it like this instead," Con‐Rad instructed, switching the end he was holding his cannon from. Ballace did likewise, correcting the error.
Suddenly, a headlamp came into view and its owner stepped past them. Con‐Rad, the quicker of the two, immediately fired his canon—though rather crucially forgot to turn it back the right way first. Almost all of the confetti blasted Con‐Rad in the face, the rest flying in Ballace's eyes. Ballace, temporarily blinded, fired his canon right at the rock they were hiding behind. The confetti reflected off the stone right back at the partygoers, causing them to fall to the ground, incapacitated.
When the two had reoriented themselves and gotten out of the enormous pile of confetti, they were surprised to see that the headlamp was still shining in their direction. It was clear the loud bangs of the cannons had given their spot away. The pair carefully peaked around the rock, only to find their target standing right there, facing them.
Facing them? More like facelinging them!
Nice "human", Ballace and Con‐Rad…
