xenoglossaryxav
paranormal investigator - professional late assignment doer
I'm xavier cooper, an engineering major at North Wellington University (go kiwis!), from auckland, nz
been interested in a variety of paranormal and extraterrestrial theories for a while now so made my own blog to expose reality!!!
didn't your mom tell you the truth was stranger than fiction?
SORTING POSTS: OLDEST FIRST
my dad works for a food flavouring company and i found this out that it comes from frogs and is it weird that i think that's actually really cool
#autistic #conspiracy #alien [234 notes]
Ok ok ok so I like didn’t sleep for two days straight because professor assface gretfuck wants that essay or whatever and my brain was basically just… elevating onto a new higher plane of consciousness it was crazy (i think it was astral) but i was just thinking like,,, how do we know NASA… is real? like ive never seen nasa or anything
#conspiracy #what if though #wait i forgot about my uncle uh nvm [201 notes]
Realised my gf was an alien yesterday. Made me lowkey question some things like that’s gross but when i like, confronted her about it she literally fucking dumped me guys what do i do
#she literally has my toothbrush at her place #i don’t want her having my damn DNA toothbrush #vent #relationships #alien #extraterrestrial [80 notes]
OK i told my gf i was sorry and she like. Actually accepted it how the fuck…. Also yeah i was wrong about her being an alien, i thought it was plausible because she wasn’t really, like, acting how i thought she should act but i think she’s just a girl.
#girlfriend issues #autism #neurodivergency amirite [377 notes]
Dude my fucking professor is it like normal that i just wanna drop out entirely because of this one fucking professor oh my lord i literally put my assignment in one day late and he’s up my fucking ass about it he must be a fucking alien or something because that is not normal behaviour
#vent #literally someone stop this man [25 notes]
#aesthetic #spacecore #i don't care if this is emo lol [91 notes]
Mars is made of bones and dried blood! Thats why when they landed that one rover it came back as a positive for life. the aliens used to live there before they evolved into humans on earth.
#mars #nasa #aliens #our true heritage [91 notes]
tigers replicate themselves with little pieces that bud off of their backs that they rip off and spit out. thats what the hairballs are. the striped parasites. #zoology #i was today years old when i realised this
#zoology #i was today years old when i realised this [23 notes]
So I asked my friend in electrical eng 202 if he was feeling okay after florptoxium seeped into his dorm buildings water tank. he tells me it isnt real (despite him being a chem major and should know better), but after showing him the proof he just laughed in my face :(((( I just wondered if he was okay
#florptoxium #chemistry #everyday college problems [194 notes]
Wtfffff do you mean im “missing too many classes?” im taking my own classes, the classes of life. This stupid fucking college thinks just because im not going to my dumb english writing lab that im not progressing academically. fuck you mrs. gretford
#collegeproblems #stemmajor [36 notes]
I think furries could just also be a conspiracy of some kind. Do you ever think about that sort of thing? I've certainly never MET a furry, so how do I know that there even ARE furries? like are you guys for real this just looks like a leaked alien from area 51:
#furries #area51 #conspiracy [77 notes]
damn good news for once, mrs. gretfuck accidentally put someone elses final grade for that class under my name!!! guess who got an AAAAAAAAAAAA xoggers :-))))
#luckiest man alive #academic #grades [100 notes]
final project announced for my structural design course, gonna be making a ghost detector!!! I think the library 2nd floor is haunted with the spirit of that one squirrel who fell from the tree onto the windowsill and died… :( should serve as good data! :D
#spiritsquirrel #stemmajor #i swear that squirrel is like my spirit animal [61 notes]
Did you know?
cat cafes are fronts for the shadow government to get people to adopt cats with microphones implanted in them. governments have done this before to spy on their enemies and i’d argue the public is their biggest rn. I hope my mom doesnt tell her cat about the money she stole from the school to pay for my tuition. 0-0
#cats #fraud #spies #my mom is such a legend for that one [256 notes]
Did you know?
cat cafes are fronts for the shadow government to get people to adopt cats with microphones implanted in them. governments have done this before to spy on their enemies and i’d argue the public is their biggest rn. I hope my mom doesnt tell her cat about the money she stole from the school to pay for my tuition. 0-0
the cat reporting back to the government abt my tuition:
#cats #fraud #spies #my mom is such a legend for that one [256 notes]
David, the guy who had the florptoxium outbreak found out about this xog blog. he’s not happy that I mentioned him but we’re still friends and I convinced him to buy a water filter for his sink! :))) maybe now he will feel better
#florptoxium #water filter #health [55 notes]
so I took my own advice and began sports betting……… and im fucking amazing at it. my tuition is paid for fully and I can repay back my loans! I also bought myself some new fancy paranormal equipment to further test my theories. the newest one I bought is a “quantum transfuser” whatever that means. supposedly can use psychic energy to move objects. also bought my mom new knitting supplies
#luck #lottery #knitting #xoggers [49 notes]
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Thanks to the whole FreeSmart Casino of Awesomeness team for the ideas with this goofy tale.
