Finding Paradise
I met him at a bar.
There he stood.
I asked their name.
Not a soul responded
Drowned in grief.
We found our way.
Whispered From The Mother
Taking my first steps into the tent I was ushered to, I laid my eyes upon the fairly crude surgical setup within. They had butchered one or two of the tables to make it into something more comfortable to lay on, with another one being cut in half to act as a desk with countless random medical items haphazardly strewn across it. The sight seemed almost unsanitary, making me feel even worse by simply being there. The person surveying over it all was a slim and pretty mousey-looking woman, all her hair tied back in a messy bundle. As they turned away from their equally messy work table to greet me and the person who had brought me in, they made a small clatter from all the items on their table being knocked over.
“Who might this young man be, Jaysean?” They questioned my guide, the magnification of her glasses making their curious stare at them evident. Despite this, the low light still refracted from them, making the lenses almost mirrorlike.
The stranger nudged me forward. “New patient. He’ll probably tell you what needs to be done-”
The doctor replied in a haughty huff, rolling her eyes a bit. Without any further warning, the person who had been guiding me left the cluttered tent, leaving me standing on my own with yet another stranger.
“So? Are you going to waste my precious time, or can you show me what the issue is?” The doctor demanded in an upset grumble, getting out of her seat.
“Ah, do I sit or-”
“I really don’t care. Just show me what it is that’s bothering you… I could be helping people I actually care about otherwise.”
I gave a nervous gulp at her blunt response, choosing to sit on the edge of the makeshift bed and roll up my pant leg. “Sorry.. Eh… I was walking alone for… I don’t know how long-”
“-can it.” She grumbled, suddenly cutting me off, giving a slightly bothered murmur after seeing my leg.
Without further warning, the doctor began to poke at my injury, tilting my leg to get a look at it from different angles. They also poked at the hardened gel that mended my wound. After a brief inspection, they began inquisitively checking to see if the gel was set in with a few prods with a pair of forceps. It hurt a little bit to be touched, but otherwise it didn't bother me as much as it did before it was packed.
“So, is there anything you can do about this?” I asked, trying not to annoy the doctor more than I already was.
Thankfully, she didn’t seem too bothered anymore, mostly engrossed in studying the deep bites. “What did this?”
“Something called a hound? It resembled a dog, sorta…” I told them, attempting to recall the term Sam and Olivia had used for the grotesque beasts.
Scoffing, the doctor looked up at me. “What? Don't you know what a hound looks like?”
“No,” I replied with a shake of my head, “I’ve spent almost all of my time here on Level 11. Got a job and everything.”
With my response, the doctor began laughing a little, more so to herself. “How the hell did you end up here then? Accidentally step on the wrong sewer grate?”
“N-No, I… I was traveling with some people. Got separated and now I’m here.” I confessed, albeit vaguely, to avoid unnecessary questions.
“Heh, typical greenhorn. Listen, I’m going to clean this out and sew it up. Just lay down for me.” She continued without many other questions, much to my relief.
Without any extra delay, I shuffled and moved myself to lay flat on my back, turning my head to watch the doctor sort through all of her items across the mess on the table; scalpels, metal trays, a saw, bottles of chemicals, all unwashed and unsanitary. She even went under the table, grabbing a bag full of extra supplies and what appeared to be surgical equipment. Setting the bag down made the whole table of dirty equipment rattle. I couldn't bear to watch it for any longer, trembling as my eyes darted across spots in the room.
I grew a little bit anxious as I realized how bad this could go. With a big gulp, I turned my head to look straight up as I lay down, trying to distract myself from the fact that I was in some dirty tent under the supervision of some stranger. It wasn’t even like I knew if she was a real doctor or not, although I had no choice but to trust that she would be good at her job. For the moment I had to myself, I shut my eyes and made attempts to calm myself down.
Suddenly, I felt a little tap on my shoulder. The doctor offered me some kind of leather strip. “Open your mouth and bite down on this for me, won’t you?”
“Uh, okay?” I said back in an airy whisper, almost out of breath from my own anxious panting. I kept my mouth open for a moment after, allowing them to put it in my mouth for me.
The whole time, I didn’t bother to look down at what was going on. My teeth gently bit on the leather strip as I started to feel some wet fabric rub around my wound. After a few moments, that sensation turned into what felt like pulling. Still, I kept my eyes facing up at the ceiling, distracting myself.
“Okay… tell me if this hurts. I’m just getting this sealant off so I can flush this.” The doctor told me, continuing with their process, which I continued to look away from.
I went as far as shutting my eyes, feeling a building sensation of burning as the slightly cauterized bite was exposed to the air again. After that, I felt a sharper, more intense burn as some kind of alcohol was sprayed into my bite to clean it. With the intense pain, I automatically gritted and clenched my teeth on the strip in my mouth, giving a loud growl as I stiffened and instinctively lifted my arms.
I reached down, but the doctor rushed to stop me before I could touch their work.
“Hey! Almost done! Grab the sides of the bed or something; you might ruin the cleaning!” They ordered, moving my hand with a firm grab whilst I reached.
Doing my best to fight against the intense pain, I reached to grip the sides of the makeshift bed I was lying on, continuing to make my muffled noises of pain as the doctor continued to flush out the injury. My head began to swirl as my limbs began to feel like noodles. Each breath became heavier during the whole process, culminating in my sudden but total loss of consciousness. Of course, at this point, I was used to it.
* * *
I gasped for air as soon as I woke up, unable to move. My eyes were met with a blur of light, which began to clear up and reveal a sparsely cloudy blue sky. A cool, flowing breeze sent a shiver down my spine, giving me goosebumps. I tried sitting up, although I was soon greeted by a slightly familiar voice.
“Ah, so you awake, friend,” Strelkov spoke, a timid smile forming across their pale face. Their unnaturally green eyes look right into mine.
Before asking anything else, I looked around my surroundings. Low fences with flowers surrounded the concrete pathway we were both sitting on. Tall brick buildings surrounded us on either side, reflecting the rays of sunlight across us and the flowers. However, past Strelkov was the abyss of the blue and cloudy sky, unnaturally moving downwards. In fact, it looked as though the sky above met in little seams, almost like a box with the image of a sky scrolling across it perpetually.
My heart sank a bit, feeling as if something slightly sinister was going on despite the peaceful atmosphere. It was almost too perfect; something mimicking reality in a nearly perfect attempt, though there were still the obvious and glaring details missing. The whole time, I felt as though something was looming over me.
“This definitely isn’t the place we just were…” I said, almost too afraid to ask where they had taken me.
“It is not, no. I reckoned it would be ideal to carry you somewhere safe as you slept. That medicine lady did a good job at closing your wound.” They responded plainly, giving me no real answer to the question that I had.
Despite not answering me about where we were, they at least confirmed that the surgery had gone well. I looked down at my leg, noticing a neat bandage of gauze wrapped around the site. It was slightly sore, but I was just thankful to be okay again.
My thoughts were soon interrupted. The calm breeze carried the whispering of an airy voice, speaking in monotonous snide. “Child of mine, consider yourself to be blessed by my presence.”
I turned around in a slight panic, finding myself face-to-face with some small flowers planted around a stone pedestal. Following it up, I came to view a tall statue of a woman holding a child. It resembled something biblical, but what exactly it was, I wasn’t too sure. Either way, the logic for the statue talking to me nearly slipped my mind as something impossible.
“There’s no way you’re the thing talking to me, right?” I asked it out loud.
My response was an ethereal giggle from the statue, reverberating all around me. “What you hear is I, Lady Confession. Your ears do not deceive you.”
I stammered, glancing back at Strelkov for answers. They simply lowered their head as they knelt, lifting their hands as if they were worshiping or praising the statue. This prompted a small hum from it.
“I am glad to have an audience once again. I have a feeling there’s something you might need, child.” The statue replied to me in my confusion.
“What are you?” I managed to murmur back in my growing worry. The peaceful atmosphere remained filled with the silence of the unnatural mimicry of the real world.
The statue before me remained entirely silent for a few moments. The whole time I continued to scan around, studying the flowers and the singular tree in this isolated garden. With growing curiosity, I got back up onto my feet, feeling a lot less pain in my leg where I was bitten. When I began to reach for the bandages to feel, I finally got a response from the statue, a faint giggle.
“I am a knower of truths and a bearer of burdens. I know where your friends are.” They spoke ominously, cutting right to the chase. I didn’t even want to begin questioning how this strange thing knew exactly what I wanted.
I gulped and scanned across the well-worn statue, shuddering slightly at their acknowledgment. I wasn't sure what else to say to the imposing monolith, managing to stutter out, "Do you…?"
The statue replied with another laugh. “Absolutely. That child of mine, Strelkov insisted I request it from you. You want to know where both of them are. Surprisingly, I can tell you that one came here looking for you too!’
“One of them showed up here? Who?”
“Oh, silly child. Your questions can only be answered with an exchange. Your secrets for my own.”
Their suggested exchange confused me. Strelkov got up right behind me, tapping me on my shoulder politely to get my attention. Looking back at them, I saw the calm look on their face. They gestured to the statue, speaking to me in a small whisper.
“She won’t hurt you. Simply speak with honesty.”
“But… why? We can’t just keep looking? I’d prefer that over speaking with this thing.”
Strelkov’s brow furrowed. “That is a deity. Something sacred to me and others.”
“This statue? It creeps me out a little… Why are your folks so creepy?” I asked them honestly without thinking. Looking back at it, I probably offended Strelkov if their growing scowl was anything to go off of. Suddenly though, the statue interjected, giving a louder laugh.
“You’ve provided me with one honest truth. One more and I can tell you about their whereabouts, just as there are two of them.”
Strelkov mellowed out a bit when they realized that the confession had brought them one step closer to their temporary goal. Although a part of them did keep the scowl, they gave me a slightly playful nudge, or so I thought.
“What would that be like? I mean, I hated math in school. Does that count?”
“Oh, silly child. That isn’t something deep in your heart. Give us some honesty, something most would never know.” The statue responded back with yet another signature giggle.
“You’re messing with me.” I accused, feeling slightly betrayed by their disapproval of my secret.
“But I am not! I need to know the deepest truths you can provide. That simply wasn’t it.”
“Then what is? I don’t have anything to tell you!”
“False! In fact, may we make a little deal, child? Something for your own benefit.”
I began to change the sneer on my face, huffing through my nose. The offer sounded a little too good to be true, especially coming from the sinister figure before me.
“Then what’s this deal you’re offering me? I might be at my lowest, but- but it better be good.”
“Quite determined, aren’t you, my child! May I suggest you divulge a deep secret to me for the reunion with both your friends.” The statue suggested back to me, her voice sounding tempted to hear my response. As unbelievable as the request sounded, I desperately wanted to find my two traveling companions again.
“Deal… one secret for that reunion… I… god…” I stuttered, trying to work up the courage.
“I’m listening, child of mine.”
With my courage slowly leaving with each anxious second passing, I decided to rush out the first thing on my mind before I lost the will to. “I really don’t think I’m cut out for this stuff.”
Strelkov behind me gave an inquisitive hum, seeing if what I said had been enough for the statue of the woman. On the other hand, I had shut my eyes out of worry and angst, fearing that perhaps I was tricked or that what I could think of would yet again be insufficient. However, my worries were only compounded when the statue of the woman began to cackle in a way that felt almost evil.
“Oh child, thank you for blessing me with these truths. In exchange, I do just as you asked. Leave through the gates, and you shall meet your friends again.” She reassured me, though her tone of voice still left an air of discomfort.
I didn’t even utter as much of a thank-you as I began to back away. Without much consideration, I began to hurry my way past Strelkov and the fences around the gardens. Reaching the gate, I grabbed the handle and opened it wide. As the metal squeaked, it revealed to me the abyss of the cloudy blue sky. The garden comprising the whole level didn’t have anything beneath it for support, simply suspended in this reality it mocked. Being directed to leave almost felt like a joke to me.
“Friend, are you going to leave? It’s safe, I promise.” Strelkov said to me, their calm demeanor adding to my unease.
“It’s a drop! Are you crazy!?”
“Friend Jo, I frequent this place. Please have trust.” They tried to console me, though I wasn’t fully convinced yet.
It was only when I looked back at the statue of the woman that I began to calm. Her mocking expression carved in stone still taunted me, mocking my fear of the world around me. I just had to prove her wrong. Things in these realms didn’t function by usual logic, after all. Taking a breath, I fought every nerve that told me not to step off into the abyss, shutting my eyes as I pushed myself ahead. I felt a breeze and the sensation of falling, but it soon changed to me landing on the ground with a painful thud.
I found myself lying on the ground somewhere familiar-the corridors of the odd ship hull I was traveling through with Strelkov prior. My heart sank as I tried picking myself off the cold, hard ground I was on. However, much to my surprise, I found myself right in front of who I was promised to find.
“Jo?… At least this good has a bit of bad…” Sam’s familiar voice said as I finally met eyes with him. He was sitting on the floor against a wall with none other than Olivia.
Before we could be reacquainted, I noticed something was off. Olivia herself had a completely pink head of hair now, flecked with red splatters. Her chest rose and fell with labored breaths, wrapped under layers of soaked bloody bandages. I almost failed to realize she was missing a whole arm from the shoulder down. The more I looked, the more I realized she barely looked like herself. Sam didn’t seem any better.
Unfortunately, we weren’t alone. Strelkov passed right by me, reacting with a small sigh as they looked down at Sam and Olivia on the floor.
“I see the creature is… mortally wounded.”
Sam growled, his hand shaking as he reached into his coat. “Your fucking goons did this! Y-You’re gonna pay-”
“Well, it lashed out! Things would’ve been just fine otherwise!”
“I’m gonna kill you, fucker!”
Sam suddenly drew their pistol as they shouted, surprising Strelkov and myself as I watched in sudden fear. I held my breath, wincing and turning my head away as I heard the click of Sam pulling the trigger…