Unnumbered Entity - The Conductor

Official Render

Hey hey hey! Stoked to see ya here! The name's THE CONDUCTOR, but I guess ya kinda knew that already, huh?

Don't forget to mention your level.

Oh yeah, that. I'm the bad bitch in charge of Level 158, aka ONSLAUGHT STATION!!! So, you're lookin' to learn about me, is that your planford, Stanford? Well then look no further, 'cuz this page is now officially…


Starring yours truly… THE CONDUCTOR and The Conductor.

Now, before yall at the MEGanator get your tubular trekkers in a twist, take a chill pill! I meant no ill will! I just wanted to spriggity-spice my page up so that it didn't become another Drabmaster 5000. I noticed that was a Huge Fucking Problem™️ with how you guys catalogue stuff.


Q - So Conductor(s), what in the Fresh Fuck™️ ARE yall?

I am STOKED you asked! So basically, we're multiple different souls chillin in the same mind! Think like roommates, but taken TO THE X-TREME™️!!!!!!!

As for whose mind we share, that mind belongs to an unfathomably powerful force, one capable of bending reality to its will. Conveniently, this prevents us from having to share the same body, as we can simply be in multiple places at once.

Also, FYI, we both have names apart from The Conductor title we share! You can call me OZKON and the other guy J. NESKO, or just Nesko for short!

I wanted to fit a J somewhere in my name, but nothing felt right, so I just made it a first initial.

Q - Alrighty Ozkon (cool name btw), where'd yall come from?

Well, first of all, thank you very much, and SECOND of allPlease, that "(cool name btw)" was not in the original question. Please try to stick to the source material when reading these. Ugh, FIIINE. Just tryna keep things interesting but ok, my Bromium.

Moving on from that dent-sized detour, we came from a place populated mainly by SUPER ULTRA MEGA HYPER AMPED ULTIMATE SUPERGODS OF ULTIMATE DESTINY SUPERDELUXE+++™️!!! You might have noticed we're one of those, and you'd be CORRECT in assuming so! But, y'know, stuff happens, and we sorta split into multiple minds sharin a SUMHAUSOUDS+++™️ form.

If I may, I know you as humans always wish to gather as much information as possible, but that… Trust me when I say you'd rather not know. If something as powerful as us couldn't comprehend it, you absolutely won't. It's… uncomfortable to think about.

Yeah, thinkin about it makes J uncomfortable, so STEP OFF! Let speculation flourish, ya big-brain seagulls!

Q - Should we be worried about yall causing a Ruckus™️?

Nope! We don't wanna hurt any of yall! All we wanna do…

…is bring as much fun to the Backrooms as possible!

FUCK YEAH!!!! We know there's a lotta bullshit goin on in these Horror Halls™️, so we thought we'd give yall a break when it comes to that! J's into brain puzzles, so he made NEON SHUFFLE, and I'm a bit of an ADRENALINE JUNKIE™️, so I made ONSLAUGHT STATION!!!!!!

I personally enjoy the creativity of the Shuffle Squad, it's intruiging to me to see what the human mind can conjure. That's why I have no issue with them "installing" "texture packs" to the level. I am a bit concerned, though. I truly hope we aren't giving off a threatening aura, that is the last thing I wish to do. If we are, or if you have any concerns, please tell us, we genuinely don't wish to do you harm.

C'mon, J, you worry too much! I'm sure everything is goin WICKED between them and us, otherwise our Radical Respites™️ wouldn't have communities!

I suppose you're right. Thank you, Oz.

Q - Sounds legit to me! So, got any favorite snackz?

YOOO OK so what are those funky little Cheese Wheels™️ yall say people eat??

You mean a pizza-

FUCK YEAH THAT'S THE BITCH I LOVE those things. Ironically, the funny thing about that is I DON'T ACTUALLY NEED TO EAT food to live! We kinda just live off of the pure fact that we exist, like olms.

…I'd say it's a bit more complicated than that. While we CAN eat, drink, and sleep if we so desire, we don't require such actions to survive. After all, these forms are merely projections of ourselves meant to be presentable. Though, for some reason accurately representing a human face is anomalously difficult, apologies if our appearances come off as uncanny to you.

Well put, J. Nesko The Saurus! See, I got around that by making my HAT the mouth! So I can eat 'n drink WHENEVER THE HELL I WANT™️!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q - So… whats the story behind the whole "Conductor" title?

Look no further than ONSLAUGHT STATION for that answer! Since I control the train there, I called myself The Conductor because that's what conductors do - control trains!

My reason for going by "Conductor" is a bit geeky, but if you insist, that came from when I was calling Neon Shuffle's boards "experiments" in the early concept stages. I figured I'd call myself "The Conductor" because i was conducting the experiments. It's clever, but a bit of a stretch in hindsight…

Stretch or not, it's still a VALID REASON™️!!!

Q - Any other conductors up your sleeves?

YOU BET YOUR FUCKIN' ASS THERE ARE!!!!!!!! Can't wait for yall to meet em!

To respect their privacy, we will refrain from talking about them until they feel ready to introduce themselves.

Stay tuned though! One of em's about to make their move!

Huh, guess that's all of em.

Really? I thought there'd be more.

Yeah, same here! Buuut, I guess it DOES work in my favor, since now I get to work on my BIG PROJECT

…Do I want to know what this project is?

Eh, let's not spoil the Big Surprise™️ here. Anywayz, THAT'S ALL 4 NOW!!!!!!!!! Be sure to stop by Level 158 if you have the chance, and remember to STAY WICKED!!!!!!!!!!!!

rating: +34+x

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