The Alchemist

PoI Profile: The Alchemist

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this is a semi-port of the alchemist page from the backrooms fandom wiki! there's more lore to be had there, and a wee bit more will be added soon… pillar monologue, anyone?

feel free to write tales and add them into the relevant tales section !! (this is me giving you permission to make that one type of edit to just this page, not setting a precedent for other pages or allowing any other substantive page edit)

i swear that scutoid chap from the fandom wiki gave me permission, i prommy……….

here's his dumb fandom wiki page

by your local faceless scutoidster!

A sketch by the M.E.G. of the Alchemist, photo pending.


The Alchemist is an entity with strong alchemical1 abilities that bears a resemblance to a human, albeit set apart by distinct and eccentric attributes. The top of his face resembles a faceling's, unsettlingly smooth skin replacing the eyes, though with a contour suggesting an underlying eye socket. His ears are distinctly pointed, reminiscent of an elf's rather than a human's. His ghastly white complexion and salt-and-pepper beard contrast with his toothy grin, beaming alongside the slight golden sheen his skin exhibits in direct light.

His attire resembles that of a scientist's, a practical yet sleek lab coat. It's made of loose fabric that gathers at the cuffs, cinched at the waist with a practical brown belt and a gilded buckle.

The Alchemist's coat pocket most commonly includes two items: a pen, and a magnifying glass. These items signify the Alchemist's curiosity and propensity for science, though only the pen is used by him frequently2.


The Alchemist's biology is, as one might expect, largely unknown. His vision is reportedly precise and far-reaching, unlike his hearing which (despite his ears being an irregularly pointed shape) is equivalent to a human's in range.

Through a manual, painstaking process the Alchemist can rapidly heal substantial injuries. This makes him difficult to successfully attack, though he still exhibits an aversion to risk due to the pain and effort of healing.


Unlike many similar entities such as the Keymaster, records of the Alchemist do not date back to the time of ancient civilisations entering the Backrooms and forming The Lost. He is revered by the modern-day Lost as the reincarnation of the Allseer3, even as physical evidence for this correlation is scarce4. Documentation of the Alchemist dates back only 200 years at the very earliest.

The Alchemist is, nowadays, not an entirely uncommon sighting, though he may be elusive if you aim to find him for yourself. He tends to stay in safer levels, such as Level 4.


The Alchemist has an eccentric personality, and can be very unpredictable. He carries himself in an enthusiastic manner even at the worst of times, caring very little for the circumstances around him. His manner of speaking — though often dotted with scientific vocabulary — is remarkably nonchalant and enthusiastic when compared to other similar entities. His attitude to alchemy is one of great pride, coupled with a genuine passion for the craft.

Did I used to be more… formal? What, like the Keymaster? No, never in my life. What you see is what you get, and I've been that way as long as I can remember! Well, that isn't too far back, granted… no matter. Just don't worry about it too much.

~ The Alchemist

A piece of gold created by the Alchemist from a chunk of lead.

The Alchemist's main ability is, according to him, the ability to "understand anything, down to its most basic systems" — this apparently can mean anything from seeing things' insides without opening them to comprehending and editing their molecular structures.

His expertise can be enlisted in return for a favour; procurement of items, the teaching of interesting information, or even the revival of the dead could be possible if he chooses to entertain your request. The favours and trades he asks for in return vary from trivial to substantial, for example:

  • Human blood (withdrawn from a syringe he keeps inside his coat);
  • Busywork, for example, "Get me a doughnut;"
  • Your mortal soul;
  • Human currency which he apparently collects;
  • Half of your personality5;
  • A cigarette.

If his request is too difficult to fulfil, you might be better served asking for his help on another day when he's in a better mood.


  • Lady Blanche"Lady Blanche! She has very good tea, and absolutely amazing whisky if you ask— oh, and books, I suppose that's what you were asking about. Yes, yes, she's got all the information you could ever need." — As might be expected of all but the most stubborn, the Alchemist is on good terms with Blanche it seems.
  • The Keymaster"The fabled Gatekeeper, ah… I'll never get him. Or, well, of course I do get him, but you know what I mean, right? Something strange is going on in his head, it's like a battle or somethin'. I can't stand it in there! Every time I try and figure him out, it's something new." — The Keymaster seems to perplex the Alchemist, but they don't seem to be on bad terms. They haven't been seen to meet up before.
  • The Game Master"Tolerable. That's all. I can't stand her voice, or her mannerisms, or her— she's simply tolerable. That being said, I think there's something more to her. Maybe I should give her another shot." — The Alchemist has displayed mild frustration with the Game Master upon questioning. The current status of their relationship may be different, though. Further questioning pending.
  • Pillar Scribe"Hey, don't talk about Paris like that! He's not so bad if you get to know him. Like me, hah!" — The Alchemist is known to have a great deal of respect for Paris as a purveyor of information and general friend. They haven't been seen together, but they presumably meet in the Cygnus Archive.
  • Argos"He's the law, I guess… but still, his overbearing grip on people bugs me. He doesn't have any logic, he just… picks things to be the rules. As far as I can tell, anyway. I make no effort to understand him. Useless."
  • Kushim — (After reviving an M.E.G. agent who would rather remain unnamed) "Oh, come on! You don't really NEED a soul, do you? Just get drunk, it's basically the same thing. Worked for me, anyway." — Kushim and the Alchemist appear to be friendly with each other. Still, the Alchemist refuses to ask Kushim for the souls of people he brings back to life, instead redirecting them to seek him out for themselves.
  • Fengári"Oh, Fengári? Right. They're my BIGGEST FAN! Just watch them, with someone like me as a role model, they're sure to go places. I haven't seen them in a while, though… have they gone missing?" — They and the Alchemist are often seen signing to each other in an unidentified language not similar to ASL or BSL.
  • Philia"Right, that one. I can't bear to stay short with her, even though she can be SO boring. She's kind, though, and she cares to listen to me and not just dismiss me… maybe that makes her more insane than I am?" — The Alchemist seems to have a soft spot for her.

bookRelevant Tales

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