James A. Garfield
rating: +32+x

Photo of James A. Garfield, with a great likeness to the subject in question.

NAME: Claims to be James A. Garfield.
KNOWN AFFILIATIONS: The United States of America.
LAST KNOWN LOCATION(S): Unknown, previously Level 1.


For several weeks, wanderers on Level 1 have reported sightings of an “off putting and confusing” man in 19th century garb stumbling through hallways in an almost sleeplike manner. While these sightings were at first ignored, people eventually reported that the man claimed to be deceased president James A. Garfield.

Reports of his exact demeanor differ from person to person greatly. Some have described him as "gentlemanly and polite", others "rude and dismissive". One man described him as "Literally exactly like the real thing. You don't have to google it either— I'm a historian."1

“I was bartering at my store when in comes this freak— decked out in a whole ass suit— and he started asking me about ‘the constitutional presidents discount’. I tell him to buzz off— that he’s not gonna get any kinda discount if he keeps talkin’ like that— and dude looks at me like I’m a crazy person. Weirdest interaction I’ve ever had by far.”

-Level 1 Shopkeep's description of the subject.

"Some guy barged into my hut at like, 5am in the morning, and asked me 'What my political stance on protectionist opposition to the Freer trade' was, and my thoughts on 'Civil war era supreme court integrity.' I kicked him and he muttered something about me being a 'Oneida supporter'."

-Unknown wanderers encounter with the subject.

Shortly after these reports of encounters gained popularity, a volunteer explorer discovered the man in question at a random area within Level 1. He was then shortly escorted back to traders keep for questioning, which yielded unsuccessful results.

Interviewer: Doctor Bierre.
Interviewee: Man claiming to be James A. Garfield.

James A. Garfield: “I’m confused… who are you men? What on earth do you think you are doing?”

Doctor Bierre: “Sir, we are just as confused as you are. Can you state your name again, for the record?”

James A. Garfield: “I am United States President James A. Garfield. I’ve said this once before! Who are you men to apprehend me like this? Who do you represent! It isn’t that bastard Hancock, is it? Or Guiteau?”

Doctor Bierre: “No, sir… we aren’t— do you even know where you are? What year is it?

James A. Garfield: “It is 2021, of course. Do not think me a fool, boy!”

Doctor Bierre: “I… wait, is that—”

Doctor Bierre checks his notes quickly.

Doctor Bierre: “Well, you’re not… wrong? Still, James A. Garfield died in 1881. There’s no way that you’re—”

James A. Garfield: “I was gunned down by Guiteau, correct?”

Doctor Bierre: “Well… yeah. That’s correct.”

James A. Garfield: “Just as I thought. That man did not respect the constitution. Really, it shows not to trust anyone from those religious sects… if you ask me, they—”

Doctor Bierre: “No, if… if you are Garfield, then why the hell are you—”

James A. Garfield: “Here? Alive? Simple. I was well aware of that crazed stalker beforehand, so I simply staged an easy way for him to assassinate me. Why would I ever go to a train station without the protection of my secret service? Absurd!”

Doctor Bierre: “Wait… so who was—”

James A. Garfield: “I hired a loyal friend of mine to stand in as me. He did one hell of a performance as well, shame that he died. Still, while Mister Gitout was busy emptying his pistol into him, I was busy arriving here!”

Doctor Bierre: “Right. And where is ‘here’, exactly?”

James A. Garfield: “The perfect vacation spot, of course!”

Doctor Bierre: “…”

Doctor Bierre: “What?”

James A. Garfield: “Your questions bore me. I’ll be leaving now—”

Doctor Bierre: “Like hell you are! I’m gonna get more damned answers out of you if it kills me! What do you know about The Backrooms? Who told you how to enter it? Why did you—”

James A. Garfield: “So be it.”

Before Bierre can respond, James A. Garfield pulls an unidentified civil war-era pistol out from his coat and shoots the doctor, killing him instantly, and then proceeds to leave the room.

The person of interest has not been located since this incident, but any information available is highly sought after. If you have seen this man, or anyone claiming to be post-civil-war-era United States Officials, please contact the M.E.G. as soon as possible. This is not the first time we have had troubles with them.

Historic Profile:

(To be updated)

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