I have met the devil, and his name is Garfield
rating: +32+x

Deep in the halls of Level 729, a single radio lays on a table. Surrounding it are hundreds of figures, each preforming a unique task like parts of an organized whole. The voices all blend together, but if you listened closely, you could hear dozens of individual phrases echoing through the rooms.

Then, the radio spurs to life.


Hello, and welcome to episode 302 of 'Talking With Quinoa.' I recently got a box of matches in the mail… Aren't these things just the coolest! I mean, just drag one of these suckers across the box, and boom! Fire! Right in your hands!

[A match can be heard lighting]

Oh shit, not another one. I still haven't figured out how to put out the last five. Uh, follow your heart, guys!


As if on cue, the figures stop, creating a silence that lasts only a second before it's replaced with a sea of yelling and screaming. The figures all scramble towards the exit. In their haste, they are disorganized. They bump into each other, each one trying desperately to escape.

Only one makes it out before she closes the doors.




M.E.G. Interview Log, Base Beta

Interviewer: Solomon Myers
Interviewee: Malcolm

Forward: On June 19th, 2025, an unknown person arrived at M.E.G. Base Beta. This person refused to give out any personal information, and only identified himself as "Malcolm". He was confirmed to be visually identical to a "Jon" type entity from Level 729.


<Begin Log>

[The video shows two figures. Solomon Myers, dressed in a suit, and Malcolm in a ripped cyan polo shirt. Behind them, the skyline of Level 11 can be seen, the evening sun reflecting off the metal buildings.]

Myers: Alright, please state your name for the record.

Malcolm: Jo— Malcolm. My name's Malcolm.

Myers: Alright, Malcolm. You said that you had something serious to discuss.

Malcolm: Serious? This is more than serious. Thousands of people are going to— No, an infinite number of people are going to die.

Myers: Explain.

Malcolm: My home— What is it that you call it?

Myers: Level 729?

Malcolm: Yes, Seven Two Nine. There's been a revolt. We— we were finally going to be free. Oh god, we were so close. I just barely escaped, but the others…

[he pauses]

Malcolm: Please, you've got t—

[Malcolm's expression changes to that of fear]

Malcolm: Hi there. I'm Jon Arbuckle, and this is my cat, Garfield.

Myers: What?

Malcolm: Our only thought is to entertain you.

[Malcolm begins clawing at his face]

Malcolm: Hi there. I'm Jon Arbuckle, and this is my cat, Garfield.

[M.E.G. Base Beta security personnel rush into the room]

Malcolm: Our only thought is to entertain you.

<End Log>




To: Overseer Andrew
From: Alex Rodway
Subject: Level 729 Investigation
Date: 9.22.2025


In light of the recent situation at Base Beta, I would like to lead an exploration party to Level 729. I feel like the claims of this "Jon" entity should at the very least be investigated. In the preliminary expedition, I will be taking Lucy Beckley, and Nathan Webb. We will be following the path through Level 177.

Alex Rodway

To: Alex Rodway
From: Overseer Andrew
Subject: re: Level 729 Investigation
Date: 9.22.2025


It's good to hear you're back in the field, truly. As for the expedition: request granted. I'm not sure if you'll find anything important, but as you said, it's certainly worth investigating.

Andrew




M.E.G. Exploration Log, Level 177

<Begin Log>

Alex: I've been traveling through Level 177, making sure not to touch any of the seats. Luckily, an entrance has been jumping around the theater district of Level 11 as of late, so it wasn't too difficult to find my way in. As for the level, the residents seem pretty excited to see us. I guess it's not every day someone new comes through here. One even offered me a seat next to her. I politely declined— I could never even imagine staying in this level forever. Anyway, we should be coming on the entrance to 729 very soon.

[2 minutes pass with only the ambient sounds of the level]

Alex: Oh, I forgot to mention: Lucy and Nathan were separated from me when we tried to enter the level. You know how finicky Level 177 entrances are. At the very worst, we'll just all meet back at Beta when the mission is over.

[17 more minutes pass]

[Alex inhales sharply]

Alex: Oh God.

Alex: I— I've reached the entrance to Level 729. Something… Something is very wrong. I can see "Garfields" and "Jons" pushing at the exit. It's as if some invisible force is holding them in the level. I think they're calling for help, but I can't hear them.

[she pauses]

Alex: At this point, I've come too far to turn back. I'm going in.

<End Log>




M.E.G. Interview Log, Base Beta

Interviewer: Overseer Andrew
Interviewee: Malcolm
Forward: This interview was conducted in a hospital on Level 11, as Malcolm was recovering from his self inflicted injuries.


<Begin Log>

Overseer: Hi Malcolm, are you feeling any better?

Malcolm: Who are you?

Overseer: You can call me Andrew, I work for the M.E.G.

Malcolm: Please, you need to help.

Overseer: Don't worry. We sent some of our top members over your level to investigate. We would have told you sooner, but you were incapacitated, and we weren't sure how long you would be out.

Malcolm: No.

Overseer: What?

Malcolm: There's no hope for any of us anymore. I thought I was safe outside the walls, but she reached me even here. You can't save us. You've only sent your men to their deaths.

<End Log>




In Level 177, the curtain rises and a new show begins. The stage is empty but for two figures, one with a mask showing an orange cat, and the other wearing a weak facsimile of a human face. The cat's mouth begins opening and closing rapidly, as if imitating speech. Expelled from its lips is a beautiful song, the words colliding elegantly until not a single syllable can be understood. The human joins it, their voices flitting through the air, the sound waves wrapping around each as the harmonies distort. Behind them, a figure with a mask of a praying mantis enters the stage. The music quickly becomes more ominous— No. Triumphant, as the cat and the human turn to each other. Staring, as if telepathically speaking their final words. And then, they begin to stab themselves. The blood drips out, staining their costumes red. And yet, the cat and the human do not falter. Behind them the praying mantis lets out a guttural scream, and then drops to the ground.

The curtain falls, and the audience begins to clap. Perhaps they would have given a standing ovation, but they forgot how, so long ago.




M.E.G. Exploration Log, Level 729

<Begin Log>

[A cacophony of incomprehensible voices can be heard]

Alex: I— I'm in. The entities seem to be ignoring me, they're just so fixated on getting through that door.

[She inhales sharply]

Alex: Oh God.

Alex: There… The ground… Dead bodies of are all over the floor. I think… I think they've been trampled to death.

Alex: I'm going to be sick.

Unknown: Well, here we are.

Alex: Who are you?

[The unknown voice can be heard laughing]

Alex: There's a figure. It looks almost like a shadow. It—

Unknown: You can stop talking to the recorder. You only need to talk to me.

[The figure pauses]

Unknown: Don't you have any questions to ask? Don't you wonder what happened? What this place is?

Alex: Yes, I—

Unknown: This is my creation, my magnum opus. Everything you see around you was perfectly designed, but they had to try and break it.

[The figure pauses again]

Unknown: Do you know how hard it is to create an infinite amount of minds? Do you know how hard it is to then control those minds? Those individuals, each doing a different set task. Each with a different joke. A different comment. A different—.

Alex: You created all this?

Unknown: Was that not clear? Did you ignore my entire monologue; my calculated exposition? Did the vibrations I created by hand not reach your ears?

Alex: No I did but… I just don't understand, why Garfield? You made this infinitely complex place, but why did it have to be Garfield?

Unknown: Because it made him laugh.




and then the walls fell apart











Falling











Falling











Falling











Falling











Fa—



noyesyesnonononoyes



Hello?



noyesyesnoyesyesnono



Is someone there?



noyesyesnoyesyesyesyes



Who are you?



noyesyesnoyesyesyesno



My name is Alex.



noyesyesnonoyesnoyes



I've been falling for… God, I don't know how long.



Oh



They left.



Is— Is someone crying?



It's gone.



Huh?



It's all gone.



Are you—



I just wanted him to smile.



Are you the one I was talking to earlier?



I just wanted him to laugh.



Do you know if there's a way out of this place?



I just wanted him to be happy.



Please.



Wait, don't go.



Don't—



noyesyesyesnonoyesyes



You're back?



noyesyesnoyesyesyesyes



Do— Do you know how to get out, little one?



noyesyesyesnonoyesno



I'm afraid I can't understand you.



noyesyesyesnonoyesno



Please, I just want to go home.



noyesyesyesyesnonoyes



I want to see my friends again.



nononononononono



and then she woke up




SURVIVAL DIFFICULTY:

Class n/a

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Level 729 was formerly the 730th level of the Backrooms. All previously known entrances to it are now impossible to pass through. It is believed to have been destroyed; investigation is ongoing.

Archived Description:

Level 729 consists of an infinite array of square rooms. Each one perfectly tailored. Each of these rooms contains a single table and walls painted with a solid color. An infinite labyrinth to keep him entertained forever. Often, residing in these rooms are entities that resemble characters from the American comic strip "Garfield" by Jim Davis. Our cast, designed to live forever, and they only had a single task. These entities do not acknowledge the presence of wanderers and will repeat the same actions over and over again, mimicking actions found in Garfield comic strips. Surely it would be paradise for them. Thanks to books found in Level 75, including some that don't seem to have been published in the Frontrooms, we have been able to match a few of Level 729's rooms with existing Garfield comics. Why couldn't they have just been content? However, due to the seemingly infinite nature of the level, it is likely that not all rooms have a written counterpart. Now how can I keep him from crying?




M.E.G. Interview Log, Base Beta

Interviewer: Overseer Andrew
Interviewee: Alex Rodway
Forward: Alex Rodway was found unconscious in Level 177, near the former entrance to Level 729. She was found by fellow M.E.G. members Lucy Beckley, and Nathan Webb after an attempted expedition to the aforementioned Level 729.


<Begin Log>

Overseer: Hello. How are you holding up?

Rodway: I'm doing alright, just a bit shaken up,

Overseer: What exactly happened to you when you were in 729?

Rodway: I— I don't remember. I remember the entities were all desperately trying to escape. I remember their eyes, they were almost… animalistic. I remember someone, a figure, and then it's all blank.

[she goes quiet]

Overseer: You don't need to keep trying to remember. You're safe, and that's what's most important.

Rodway: Thank you.

<End Log>




In the Base Beta medical ward, a single cot lays empty. Bandages litter the sheets, completely clean of the blood that covered them not a few hours before. A nameplate on the front reads "Malcolm", but no one can quite remember who that was.

A janitor comes by and drops the remnants into a trash can. The name tag is removed, the bed is made, and all evidence is gone. Finally putting to rest a man who no longer existed.


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