rating: +10+x


Author: IamalemonIamalemon
This is what happens when my entity doesn't get enough views (jk)

Minor warning for existentialism and talking about death and depression
yet still-

I was alone. It was still early in the morning, maybe almost 5 am. The proud moon still hung above me, a white marble contrasting a deep navy sky, casting a soft light onto the seemingly infinite fields of yellow grass.

The grass was tall, hiding my old hiking boots from view. What could be seen of my legs was slicked with sweat and dew from the grass. Every step produced a harsh crunch from stepping on dry grass and briars.

The air was cold, and I found myself shivering with every step. The early hours of the day had brought light showers of rain, soaking my brown cotton overcoat. Had I known of the rain, I would have left sooner; it was too late to consider what-ifs by now.

It must have been at least several hours since I left the barn when I finally caught sight of the treeline. It was, at best, some cover from the storm. On my way, I passed some forgotten relics of the past- rotting barns only home to spiderwebs, a watchtower maybe just hours away from collapsing, a few rusted vehicles beyond repair scattered throughout, and gravestones ruined by countless years of rain and dust- only ghosts of what this may have once been.

The sky seemed to get no brighter, and the clouds only thicker. The gleaming orb of the moon had all but disappeared, covered by rain, which had significantly worsened. I could barely see six feet in front of myself, but I kept steady towards the trees.

I had no one to weep my sorrows to except for weeds and raindrops. It was a silent night, the thoughts in my head drowning out the downpour like white noise. What thoughts I still had were dreary and hollow.

As the last bit of feeling drained from my toes, I paused, exhausted. My mind had gone fuzzy, and before I could take another step, I fell, crying, into the deep muddy earth. I lay there for only a moment, sweat and rain clouding my vision. From deep in the grass I felt so… small. There was such a world out there, so many billions of people alive, yet there I was, a stranger sobbing beneath the soaked yellow blades.

Gruelingly pulling myself to my feet, I took a nervous stride, my feet splashing in the newly turned mud. Two steps forward. Three steps. Four. Five. Six. Seven…

It took several moments for my mind to break from its trance until I registered the sharp squeaking behind me, like a poorly-oiled wheel. I didn't turn around, still focused on the hum of my thoughts.

And as I nearly spun around, two beams of light crackled to life behind me. With them, they brought a warm sensation that seemed to unfreeze my aching body and snapped me back to consciousness. A low "pat-pat-pat-pat" reached my ears raw from the cold as the creature behind me was brought to life.

The newfound warmth did not give me hope but signaled the approach of mercy. I noticed my shadow through the persisting raindrops- it seemed smaller, skinner. I hadn't eaten in maybe 4 days, and the last of my water was consumed maybe a day ago.

I slowly turned around to face the merciful beams of light. A creature with the shell of an old pickup truck stared back at me, emotionless. I watched my shallow breaths escape my body as I studied the patient creature; the windows were spiderwebbed with cracks, the hood was more dented than straight, its green paint job was worn away by layers of rust, and it billowed acrid-smelling exhaust from the back which the breeze blew into my face, burning my nostrils.

The bright bulbs blinded me, illuminating the grass around me. The rain had almost seemed to come to a halt for all I could tell. There was me, and there was it, both in a standoff, waiting for the others' first move. Yet, my eyes were drawn back to the searing glow of the flickering bulbs.

Sometimes people say you see a bright light before you die, and I used to like to imagine a hand reaching down from above to take me somewhere when I died. As the mechanical monster prepared to kill me, I began to slip into its gaze and its heat. Even time seemed to halt, waiting on me to do anything to save myself.

Life is fleeting, as we all know. Most of us will never have any sort of long-term effect in this world. The majority of people aren't one-in-a-billions, but part of a people whose existence won't matter years after they die.

I had no descendants, no friends, no contacts, no one to keep my memory alive. I was a nobody.

Was I not a person to myself? Was I hollow, someone with no purpose other than to die? Was I so inconceivably small that I could disappear from life just like that-

-and the world would go on?

I concentrated on where I was again, but only for a split second. The monster was still there, the rain still poured angrily, the cold still shook me, and the sinister yet intriguing glare of the two lights on the front of the car still invited me closer. They invited me back into my consciousness, to a warm space of relaxation.

Well, the world would go on, and it still does. Even after my death, I remain here, contemplating the disease we know as life. Millions of lives are lost every day; victims of murder, fire, crashes, drowning, illness, nature, and old age all die every few seconds. Death is a part of life, and in the end, we all live so we may die. But when the light of a human soul goes out, life goes on.

I never did make it to the tree line. My body still lies there, torn and ripped from the machine's rusted iron sawblades. Who knows, I could have made it out of there on that cold and fateful night months ago. But could I have changed anything? Had death not come so soon, would I have lived happily, and most of all, ever felt like I had done something? It doesn't matter anyhow. I was trapped in my mind, cursed with curiosity that couldn't be cured. I had been caught dead like a deer in gold-







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