Something for Roots2024 that I forgot to post;;

Something for Roots2024 that I forgot to post;;

Pearbranch 08 Sep 2024 15:21

I had this thing in the sandbox but forgot to post it haha;;
Could someone crit it for me so I can post in on the site?
Here's the link: http://backrooms-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/pearbranch-4
Thanks :D
<3<3<3

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@pearbranch14823

Re: Something for Roots2024 that I forgot to post;;

BlueSignet 09 Sep 2024 14:51

This is very nice. I like how it flashes out the world and people living in it.

One thing I do recommend is having some small indicators of when you jump in time within each entry. It's a bit confusing to read and the indicators would help a lot.

There are also some places where I'd recommend a paragraph break:

This house seems eerily quiet.

Oh no. I haven't been perfectly quiet while I was here.

But overall, it's very nice.

Just a reminder, our discord is more active, so if you want crit, I would join there. :)

Re: Something for Roots2024 that I forgot to post;;

Pearbranch 10 Sep 2024 14:18

okay! thanks for the crit! <3

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@pearbranch14823