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I ALWAYS COME BACK! This is a collab between me and Rey. Level 800.1 with full voice acting. Trigger warning for gore and horror! Rey did most of the work and I helped a bit lol. Hope you enjoy!
P.S. if you don’t need the transcripts don’t use them. It’s better without them ;)
Faster than flash to vote first, HAHA!!! It was worth the vote.
Excellent article. Good collaboration. I loved the style that duplicates too many things (that last one doesn't make much sense). The quick +1 was definitely not in vain. Remember it.
I love me some juicy references. Also I have decided that the unidentified entity is in fact the Memory Wyrm, because fuck you it fits.
Enjoyable VA work as well B)
Alright, hats off to you guys for the incredible VA here, that really boosted the page for me. The same goes for the beginning notice. However, there were a couple of things that made me ultimately novote this.
Now, ik it says
The man in the files, the location in which the recordings took place, or the nature of what occurs in the recording is currently unknown. As such, a proper article cannot be created regarding this potential new level in question.
But… the logs were kinda… filler (although they did carry the page like I said)? Like, the only stuff happening in the logs was the dude yapping/barely describing the sublevel's environment, leading to me being confused about what's actually happening in the sublevel itself and what its properties are. I feel like any other wanderer would describe their surroundings in specific detail so that a wanderer or M.E.G. can later find where he's at, no (besides the monster ofc)? Ik one of the properties of the level is that time is all out of whack, like 742, but that's… all? There could've been something interesting with that like the time going backwards, but that was only a passing mention, which was quite disappointing.
And the monster itself was… meh, kinda generic, but ig "monsters are more scary when they're not explained/described in appearance", which I don't think y'all were going for that, but that's what I got from reading/listening to it (and again, wouldn't he describe the monster's appearance? Even if he didn't see all of its body, he'd probably still point out some features like limbs, teeth, etc).
The "bloodcurdling scream" at the end of the first log was pretty goofy ngl. It felt like a sound effect off of YT or something. Made me crack a bit, which I believe is not the intended effect there. Also, the last two logs were too quiet, I had to turn my volume to the max to hear the dude, but even then I could barely hear him.
Please, if I misunderstood anything, point it out. Anyway, that's all from me. Really cool article, but ultimately swayed me to a novote near the end.
I understand most of your points, and Nate was the one who did the audios so you’ll have to talk to him about that, but the reason that he doesn’t describe the monster is because he can’t see anything. The level is incredibly dark, which he mentions, and the only source of light is the giant backwards clocks.
I will say though that this was heavily inspired by the Blair Witch Project, and that the main goal for this was to tell a good story about the horrors someone faces in this level rather than describing the level itself. Your points are still valid, but information wasn’t really the main focus when writing,
I mean, yeah, but they can still document the place while exploring. I understand though
Some things to comment about this:
- It was kinda the goal that the whole thing was just a massive yap sesh. Stephen isn’t an MEG agent, he’s just some average Joe. He wasn’t going in with the intention of documenting the level, he was keeping an audio diary for Giana. It wasn’t until the final log where he realized he was dead that the audio may be useful for documentation purposes.
- You do raise a decent point about the time going backwards being more expanded upon, but honestly a lot of it was supposed to be “show not tell” and left up to interpretation for what’s going on. This piece was a little ambitious because of how little it actually tells you what’s going on, but there’s plenty of hints all around.
- The last two logs are also intentionally quiet because at that point he’s gone days without water. He’s not gonna be loud and vibrant when he’s super dehydrated and on the verge of death. I’d argue it’d actually be worse if they were louder because it wouldn’t be accurate to what’s going on at that point.
- Fair enough about the scream at the first log :/ it’s hard to find screams that aren’t super corny. Took me a few tries to get that good one at the end of log 4 when I was recording it.
- I actually was going for the whole “monsters are more scary when you can’t see them” I was explicitly keeping that in mind the entire time. He doesn’t even see the monster at all until the end of log 4, and by that point when you’re bleeding out on the floor, I don’t think you’re too concerned with how it looks, moreso “holy crap I’m literally dying and my leg is gone” and as Rey said, the level is very dark so it’s not like he could see much anyway.
Hopefully this clears stuff up a bit
I like that they mentioned the ritual of the mountain king and didn't make it non-functional since that would be pretty generic.
It deserves a million!! It's truly interesting and thrilling that you've used voice acting, really incredible. You have an extremely untapped natural talent that I'm sure, if you polish it even more, you'll be impressively talented.
Don't give up, this is incredible and it's the most… you know what? I'm out of words, just to say that this is 'Ineffable'. This cannot be described in words and without a doubt, it's the best I can say because this reading, this plot, your voice acting, everything is really good. Congratulations.
You are a ghost, King. Never forget it, my friend.
Rhauniel Strange-(Yilda Dagger) "Author of Terroria"
An easy +1 ;)
I really liked this for various reasons (note: I read the transcript because I couldn't listen to the voice acting, but I skimmed through the voice acting at it was good). One of the main reasons I enjoyed this page was the setting of expectations, then exceeding it. First, you set that it's probably a dangerous level, but then you almost show that it isn't. Or at least our protagonist thinks it isn't, then a hint towards the truth is shown. Following that, we see how it's much more dangerous than expected, as you follow that "no, and" plot device. Nothing that our protagonist does works, at it shows how it the level is much more dangerous than anticipated.
6/10 ending line, it was good, made sense with the plot and tone, but not emotionally evocative in a sense of leaving the reader wondering, or feeling much besides what they did in the ending. All that meaning it was very direct. Of course, we know that the protagonist will die, they know they will die, and they've at least somewhat accepted it.
Overall, this was deserved of my upvote!
