That was a short story, but I quite loved it. Also, I thought too many things when I read it, very good.
That last bit at the end is a gut punch. Give Mel my regards!
Although short I do love this article!! It’s short, sweet and simple and yet you still feel so much for the character! I enjoyed critting this and thanks for the shoutout!!
Reasons for the Novote.
- Too Simplistic: This article is essentially just a short farewell and build with its unique textbox style CSS. I'm not saying how long an article needs to be, nor do I agree on how long this article should be, but—the theme is too simple. It's just a farewell. Look, the same thing, placed outside the backdrop of The Backrooms, that is, in the Frontrooms, would make just as much sense. It doesn't have many Backrooms characteristics. For me, this article does not meet the expectation of a tale I expected to see.
- It Didn't Spark Much Thought: You see, this might be the downside of textbox, or maybe the article is just too short, but as I read through it, it felt like reading a possible string of text in a Discord channel by a stranger. After finishing it, all I felt was "Oh, and?" I didn't even wonder what happened to the protagonist—because everything was already clearly explained: they noclipped and then sent a farewell message to Lisa which failed. There's no mystery or any kind of hook, just… blandness.
Side note/off topic:
Although this is a Novote, it should actually be a Downvote, but i didn't downvote it out of respect for the translation and the FR site.
Hey original author here (wow mel does English stuff now lol)
The entre point of it was to be as short as I possibly could make it. Lisa is supposed to just be a small thing lost in the sea of everything else. It's not something that's supposed to make you think hard or whatever it's litteraly just "a piece of someone's life" and the "Frontrooms adjacent" aspect is also fully on purpose, the girl who sent the message hasn't realized she's about to die yet.
I have to disagree with the "oh…and?" Part, not just because "but I wrote it I know" that would be pretentious and stupid of me. No I base that on what others on FR said of it : I'm not giving you any clue to what happened to her, at all, so it is up to you to imagine it. If you don't care about her it's fine too, she'll disappear just as she disappeared from Lisa's life.
Anyway, thanks for giving your opinion on it love to see it :]
I'm waiting for my train on Jubilee Line
Could've been translated better. Also didn't really evoke much from me, considering the fact that this has been done a couple times before. Nice CSS tho. Good premise too.
Thanks for the down vote I suppose?
I absolutely get it, but in my defense we didn't have anything like that on FR when I wrote it, happy you still somehow liked it :]
I'm waiting for my train on Jubilee Line
Needs more depth, and the one message doesn't really cut it for me.