This is the link:
http://backrooms-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/open
Pretty nice work. However, the background is a bit too bright. Also, you need to fix the problem of images not showing on your page.
Your image doesn't show due to your link not working. This can simply be fixed by getting a direct link. I recommend using the method I usually utilize: Visit this website and upload your image there. After that, click the "Share" button on the top left of the screen and copy the "Direct link". Afterwards, you can use this link instead of the one you currently use as I've tried this method and it has proven to be easy and efficient.
Best regards,
Nonutfor Immortal
P/S: Remember to link your image sources underneath the article.
-The infamous radioactive piece of bread.
Your page is now looking much more finished other than clumsy descriptions, missing level navigations, and author clarification at the bottom, definitely need to add that.
Critics for writing (Warning: It's very long, read this when you have plenty of time):
If you were to put an explanation for an incident in the past, I recommend splitting the page into 2 revisions, the original one and the re-written one.
Adding revisions to your page may require tab view's assistance. To insert tab view into your page, simply type like my example(I'll spell them wrong to keep them in text form):
When using, please remember to spell them correctly and not just copy and paste my code (tap=>tab).[[tapview]]
[[tap This is tab 1]]
These are texts of Level 989 in tab 1, etc.
[[/tap]]
[[tap This is tab 2]]
These are texts of Level 989 in tab 2, etc.
[[/tapview]]
Result:
These are texts of Level 989 in tab 1, etc.
These are texts of Level 989 in tab 2, etc.
If you decide to not add a tab revision to your page, I suggest you remove the "Additional A.R.E. Information" part to avoid confusion for those who have not read the old article yet.
I recommend moving the rating module to the bottom of the text, as the reader can be reminded to rate the content after reading as some may forget to.
Underneath the Survival Difficulty board, I suggest removing "Its environment is moderately bearable, its entities are basic but intelligent and the exits are difficult to find." as the same information has been mentioned in the SD board. Or if you intend to keep it, you should move it down to "Description".
Detailed Description
Instead of this, I recommend switching to simply "Description". Of course, the choice is up to you and I don't see a big problem with the original.
The image is a little too big and needs to be resized adding that it's missing a caption. Captions are great ways to summarise your image in simpler terms.
I don't know how to add captions to your image block. If you plan to resize the image smaller, you may use the image block :
[[include component:image-block
|name=<Your image's direct link here>
|caption=<Your caption>
|align=<The image can be in "right", "left", or "center">
]]
The entire Level 989 takes shape very simply, like the buildings in the Frontrooms.
I would adore changing it to "The entirety of Level 989 is simple, similarly to buildings in the Frontrooms."
An extremely infinite field, which is made of dirty and dusty concrete.
I don't see why adding "extremely" into "infinite" may help define it, as it is already quite clear. Removing it might be better.
There are blue plastic chairs, which are stacked 5, which will always be in a disordered manner facing any cardinal point.
The repeated "which" makes it a bit clumsy, I recommend changing it to "There are stacks of 5 blue plastic chairs, which will always be in a disordered manner facing any cardinal point." to avoid repetition and to shorten the sentence.
Looking up will only prevent you from seeing beyond the visible line, which, like climbing onto a nearby group of chairs, will cause more and more chairs to be seen.
Removing "nearby" in the sentence above may be of great help.
It has been shown that its levels of contamination to the human body are intermediate, so always wear a suit just in case.
The "just in case" makes it feel informal, so I suggest removing it entirely as this is documentation meant for the survival of wanderers. I would change it to "It has been shown that the intermediate contamination level can cause negative health effects, wearing a suit is recommended when traversing the level.".
The chairs seem to have the same shape as school chairs, since they have an oval hole in the back.
I would make the sentence much shorter and simpler by changing it to "The chair's appearances are similar to that of school chairs.".
These chairs are possible to break, but it is not recommended as this could awaken the entity unique to this level.
The sentence is a nice detail but I would change it to "These chairs are breakable, but is not advised to as this could attract the entity unique to this level.".
Its material is not similar to plastic, since several investigations were done to find out what the real material of these chairs is, and apparently the conclusion was reached that its material is actually very similar to rotten wood.
This sentence is very long, I'd shorten it to "Its material is not plastic, several investigations had been done to find out the chair's component, it is concluded that the material is very similar to rotten wood.".
For this reason, it is not recommended to break the chairs, or even sit on them.
I'd not enjoy the repetitive mention of not breaking the chairs, so I'd love to change it to "For this reason, sitting on them may cause cracks and even fragmentation.".
The floor is dusty and dirty as the environment of the level is mostly filled with dust that could affect breathing.
This sentence is very clumsy, changing it to "The floor is as dusty and dirty as the level's environment, mostly filled with pollutants that may cause breathing difficulties." might help.
It was also seen that the floor was completely contaminated with bags, but sometimes they were empty plastic bottles.
I would change the sentence to "The floor is heavily contaminated with bags, and occasionally, empty plastic bottles.".
Rarely, these bags are filled with healthy foods, and drinking water or almond water appeared in the plastic bottles.
I'll change it to "These bags and plastic bottles are rarely filled with healthy foods, water or even almond water.".
But it is still highly recommended to bring plenty of supplies to explore this level, since in most cases you will be short of food and water.
Changing it to "Due to scarcity of food and water, it's highly recommended to prepare plenty of supplies before exploring Level 989 to avoid resource shortages." might be better.
The sky is quite different from the ground, since its tones and pollution vary in increase or decrease.
I don't understand what you meant by "in increase or decrease", so I'd replace the sentence with "The sky is very different from ground level since its tones and pollutions degree varies greatly with increasing elevation.".
Yours:
The sun in this level will always be static in the sky, making it always daytime within the level.
How I'd change it:
The sun in this level is static directly above, making its cycle stuck in the daytime whilst so.
Benefits: Avoid repetition of words, shorter sentence, less clumsy, makes more sense to later sentences (The temperature of Level 989 is mostly high due to its simple day cycle (it can reach 40°C), but sometimes it can suddenly turn nighttime, causing the temperature to drop exponentially to -35°F.)
Yours:
The lighting that this star gives in the sky gives the sensation of cloudy vision or as if there were not much detail in the shadows.
How I'd change it:
The lighting from this star gives the sensation of cloudy vision or as if there are little details within the shadows.
Benefits: Avoid repetition of words, shorter sentence, less clumsy.
Yours:
The temperature of Level 989 is mostly high due to its simple day cycle (it can reach 40°C), but sometimes it can suddenly turn nighttime, causing the temperature to drop exponentially to -35°F.
How I'd change it:
The temperatures of Level 989 can reach 40°C (104°F) due to its simple time cycle, but sometimes can suddenly turn nighttime, causing the temperature to drop drastically, as low as -37.2°C(-35°F).
Or instead of notes inside brackets, you could put them in footnotes.
To add footnotes, type [[fotnote]], type your footnote, then end it with [[/fotnote]] (I'll intentionally spell footnote wrong so it would stay in text form).
How it should look like:
Water will boil at 100°C [[fotnote]]212°F[[/fotnote]].
When using please remember to spell them correctly and not just copy and paste my code (fotnote=>footnote).
Result:
Water will boil at 100°C1.
See the results at the bottom part of this post.
Yours:
For these temperature reasons, it is recommended to bring good clothing equipment, since you don't know when it can turn night.
How I'd change it:
For this reason, it's promoted to bring good clothing equipment since sudden day-night shifts can be catastrophic.
Benefits: Make the sentence more formal and shorter.
Yours:
Dehydration is imminent due to the extreme heat, which can even cause fainting, but what is never recommended to do is touch the ground of the level during the day, since due to its temperature of up to 40°C it can be extremely hot, causing burns of up to 2° Degree.
How I'd change it:
Dehydration is imminent due to the extreme heat, which can cause fainting, it is also discouraged to touch the ground during the day, with atmospheric temperatures of up to 40°C, touching it may even cause 2-degree burns.
Benefits: Shorter, less clumsy, clearer sentence.
Yours:
This level is believed to have a special connection with Level 203, as its similarities and results returned are too precise. So, it could mean that Level 989 and Level 203 have a huge unidentified connection. It makes sense since Level 203 has the same plane similar to this level, but with the difference that this one is fuller (more objects) and the other is completely like a desert.
How I'd change it:
This level is reported to share similarities with Level 203, as conducted experimental trials bring results that were too coincidental. This could imply that Level 989 and Level 203 have special unidentified connections.
Benefits: Much shorter, less informal, and less clumsy.
Yours:
Trying to break the floor of the level will only leave a hole, but it will do no good. They have tried to make or find caves or something else under the stone, but the only thing that was achieved was that under the stone there was a metal rod, which was identified as a normal metal but with the properties of uranium. So far the first area of Level 989 is difficult to navigate due to its temperatures, but if you find a windowless building made entirely of concrete, it is recommended to run towards it and enter. That building is where the only group at the level, the ARE, is located.
How I'd change it to:
Breaking the floor will leave a hole, but it's of no use. We have been trying to make or find caves under the stones, but the only thing achieved was a metal rod, which was identified as a normal metal but with the properties of uranium. The first area of Level 989 is uneasy to navigate due to its temperatures, but if you happen to encounter a windowless building made entirely of concrete, it is recommended to quickly enter it. It is the building where the A.R.E., the only group on Level 989, is located.
Best regards,
Nonutfor Imortal
P/S: If you appreciate my assistance in writing this page, please add me as a critic. I've always wanted to be a part of something that someone else worked on :). Thanks.
-The infamous radioactive piece of bread.
Thanks for the critique, when I done I'll let you know so you can review it again.
P/S: I really appreciate your help as a reviewer.
I spotted some grammar problems in your article, but I don't have enough time to review them all. So I recommend you try some writing assistance tools (I use Grammarly) for better writing.
Best regards,
Nonutfor Imortal
P/S: I'm also writing a draft entity, it'll be of great help if you can review it for me while I help criticize yours. Then we can return, consider the critiques made by each other, and improve. You can deny my offer if you don't have enough time, but I'd still highly appreciate it if you read mine. (It could be called "dual-writing" or something lol). Reply to me whether you want to cooperate or not, then I'll send the link.
-The infamous radioactive piece of bread.
Well, I would really like to take a look at it and give you some criticism at your level. So, when you have time send me your link and I will check it out.
Thanks for your help, I may add you as one of the page reviewers.
Here is the link.
Best regards,
Nonutfor Imortal
P/S: My page is still under constant updates and rewrites. I'll contact you again when I'm done with a major one. If you feel bothered by my messages, feel free to tell me.
-The infamous radioactive piece of bread.