I loved the first page, and I enjoyed the tale, but these should be seperate pages to be voted on and reviewed seperately.
first page
I LOVE THIS the uec is super immersive here and I am such a fan
Feeding into the entity’s troublesome behavior. Placate distress as needed but do not avoid harshness.
is such an awesome line
second page
the characters are believable, and I feel for them. the narrative is interesting and as always lute's art is a pleasure.
issues with offset elaboration
- the tales in the offset really should have their own ratings and be a series with a tale hub.
- the first page and second page are linked in an immersion-breaking, boring way in my opinion
- the reader should probably have to work slightly harder to find the tournesol pages. maybe, though, there could be a wikiwalk navigation footer that connects it to the tales ?
- i don't like that I can't rate these pages and review them seperately
- not every page needs a tale offset. I think the first page should end where it ends, and leave you to think about it for a while.
~ scutoid (backrooms wikidot mod, backrooms fandom admin.)