Oh hey, new schulze dropped. this was a quick but thought-provoking read and I can't wait to see how it's built upon.
Revelation of Nimuel / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page Revelation of Nimuel.
+1, neat short story
This is almost an excellent piece, but I find that the illusion of being an ancient text is broken by frequent SPaG issues. While your choice of vocabulary + narrative concepts are excellent, seem to demonstrate an understanding of ancient culture, and often DO effectively evoke that sense of an ancient work, this is hampered by frequent comma splices and occasional awkwardly robotic/formal turns of phrase. The piece's flow is thus often disrupted, and it fails to capture the rhythms of archaic poetry fully, though it makes a valiant and commendable effort to do so.
It is a pity that I lack the time to critique this. I will be nominating it for features, though.
/forum/t-16290831/revelation-of-nimuel#post-