+1
First post is mine lol
And this story quite interesting and amazing!
I hope val will have more story and others!
Val / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page Val.
I hope you enjoy it. There is so much more to come with this character and I can't wait for it to be out. I poured my heart and soul into this story so please leave a rate and a comment.
Val uses they/them.
Read.
Just… not enough. I don’t know what separates this character from other normal people. The point of a POI is for the person to be of interest. Val is just… a normal person. Even more so than the average Backrooms dweller. The dream is the only unique thing about this, and even that is very brief and vague. I cannot in good conscious upvote this.
That was the last thing I expected to see against this lol. Granted I haven’t finished the full story yet so maybe something later down the line will differentiate Val. Not every main character has to come out swinging with stuff, I like to take my time to build it up. Also keep in mind that there is a lot Val is hiding here, they want to look normal to everyone so they don’t have to deal with isolation but there is some nasty stuff under the surface that will reveal itself in time. You know how you said you like Checkov’s Gun in your gl profile, let’s just say everything I talked about here is intentional.
I can understand this, it's just that I don't really like pages that act as a sort of "bridging the gap" kind of thing. Like, the page itself should still be enough to keep itself afloat, y'know?
Fair enough, I wrote it a bit more like the opening of a book as opposed to a page that’s meant to stand alone.
Dude became roblox man face
I know, I can do it.
based, and that handsome pfp there is even more based.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjivgLoikcg&pp=ygULdmFsIHZhbCB2YWw%3D
Yeah the page isn't bad! The tone of it, being that its written almost like a diary, takes a moment to get used to, but still feels very reserved and formal, which makes sense for who is writing the page in-universe. I do sort of agree with Ratif that the character feels pretty unnoteworthy in-universe? Like, they helped cwrite one level out of a thousand of them. That's not the most impressive? They are also having Pantheon dreams(Which I'll touch on) which implies specialness? And from my own personal knowledge of Val I know she's more connected to said canon. However, right now in the timeline they're just… Dreams. Not much else. Her importance doesn't feel implied.
Speaking of Pantheon, that connection is handled okay! Nothing stellar, which I wasn't really expecting, but it's done in a way I can appreciate. Now, I do want to say that the dream is far too fucking literal to be a dream. Maybe that means it's not a dream and instead it's actually just the pillars or avatars or whatever it actually is (I genuinely don't know lol) visiting Val themselves, but… Idk. Even if it is, people reading this won't go "Oh this dream's far too literal, it must be them being visited!". At least, not in all cases. It moreso just reads as someone poorly making up a dream heh. However, from a personal aspect, I like the fact that Val just disregards the dreams as nothing and refuses their offer. I can't speak on how in-character it is, but I could definitely believe it to be, I just find the concept funny and well executed. Like, yeah, even in The Backrooms people won't immeiately jump the gun on talking to literal gods and their avatars, especially in a dream. Realistically, people would try to cling to a sense of normalcy, and seeing that shit in your dreams would go against that normalcy. It's neat!
It's a no-vote from me, as the page doesn't necessarily feel like it needs to exist due to the uninmportantness of them as presented in the page, and the dream stuff is blissfully too on the nose, but there was some effort here! Which I can appreciate.
Eyy.. i just typed a loada garrbagge
Fair enough, I guess the best things I could have done were
A: release the entire story at the same time.
B: Done a better job at implying Val’s importance to 304, outside the god stuff.
As much as I’m tempted to edit the article to work on B. I do feel like some people can pick it up if they pay attention since they notice that Val is still allowed to do stuff like DJ. Also THEIR FRONTROOMS BEDROOM IS LITERALLY ATTACHED TO 304. And even then, elaborating more on the times when the group was together and Val was in their prime is a job for future articles.
(account deleted)title
hi it is me aaron92
i do like this in general, and you do get a feel for val's personality and why they're important
but
The dream starts with me in a blood-red void. I’m put off guard a bit by this location because I normally dream about doing dumb stuff and going on adventures with friends. Occasionally the dreams take place in some creepy grey forest. And that place has been popping up a lot more often as of late. I wonder if the forest and the void are connected in any way since they have too many similarities for it to be completely random. That connection is one of the first things I try to figure out, but I don’t have much time to explore. A mysterious hooded figure approaches me and calls himself Icarus. He tries to do this very stereotypical “join the dark side and give in to your desires” type of monologue. I can’t give you a quote-for-quote recreation but I do remember some key points from the speech.
a few issues with this:
- this log should be about the specific dream they had that night, but a lot of this paragraph is about comparisons to other dreams. it reads as though you're cramming more lore in, when these should be separate dream diary entries.
- i like the description of the guy, but i'd keep if it's icarus or not a bit more subtle.
He wanted me to seek out a group called the Pantheon a lot more. I have heard Blanche mention that name a handful of times, so maybe I can talk with her about it. Bro made it sound like a cult, though. He was saying stuff like “You’re already a part of the group.” I don’t know how to feel about that.
- be more subtle about val's connection to the group. them not knowing how to feel about it is good
He somehow knew about my struggles with my social life and a lot of the hatred I face for the more… abnormal… things I’ve developed, since no-clipping into the Backrooms.
- "more… abnormal… things" doesn't seem like how somebody would write about gaining strange backrooms powers — either you're going to lie about it, omit it, or just be honest about it. and the double ellipses read more like a transcription of a speech than a written thing
He tried to convince me to do something along the lines of freeing him or causing a massacre.
- at this point i realised this should have been a paragraph and not a bullet point list, it could be condensed
the rest of it is nice, +1
~ scutoid (backrooms wikidot mod, backrooms fandom admin.)
Chapter one syndrome and Pantheon is annoying crossroads to be at. Downvotes were kinda inevitable, but I’m down to take any Constructive criticism you guys have. Feel free to DM me.
Edit: I cooked a revision with Kai that
A: changed the dream slightly to add some more of Val's personality and humor
B: adds an intro that mentions why focus is being placed on Val and also sets up a little something for the tale meant to follow up this article.
C: adds an incident log about a little something I think I can get away with adding early.
youve been working on this for 8 months. it would be a bruh moment if it got to the deletion range.
hi it is me aaron92
Failed to stick out to me, and didn’t really feel interesting. Feels like a normal person, not a POI.
I’m gonna be getting a lot of this shit aren’t I?
Almost as if that’s what the POI category was made for
Could you clarify?
Goodness, wikidot has a weird account system. What's this weird forum signature thi
Right after reading your rant argument opinion, I decided to take a look at one of your normal articles (look at me zooming across the wiki at 500mph)
Overall, I feel that P.O.I. pages should have a bit less strict bars set against them, mainly because they don't require having the character connected to any articles to post them. I don't know why so many people are jumping the gun on this one and downvoting just because it doesn't tell every little detail of this character's story instantly. If you only want to include a few details on who the character is and what makes them special, that should be enough. But you go beyond this and write in a style that hasn't been used much (referring to the article being written by the character who it describes). The journal log at the beginning makes the reader want to know more about the background of Val and who the person is in the dream that is bothering them.
I sometimes wonder what would happen to this place if I just let everything out that inconceivably fucks around with my mind.
Lol, it's happened. It is not just a thought anymore. Now we're seeing the consequences.
Overall, I think this is good. +1.
Just a high schooler who thinks he is good at writing. Likes working on a lot of stuff, ranging from writing for the Backrooms Wiki, to providing critique, and reading. ~ Pen.
"The truth is the truth. What changes is what we know about it and what we're willing to believe."
- Jonathan Maberry, Rot and Ruin
/forum/t-16062974/val#post-