Cool.
I don't usually do these but since I did crit the page at some point, I feel obliged to state my thoughts on the final version.
Even after the crits, the concept for the infestation is still… really lacking. You traded one weak concept for an even weaker one by simply making the infestation central hub a building. It's just boring now, unfortunately.
Yeah so I put my conceptual issues in the actual forum itself, but looks like that forum was deleted, so I’ll restate them here:
This page effectively builds up to nothing. You’ve introduced an entity infestation that is seldom elaborated on — what even happened here and why should I care? It’s like you were climbing to some sort of climax only to just… serve us an empty plate. Why make the announcement that Backrooms Airways is abandoning this place if you’re not going to explain the events that led up to it?
I understand the appeal of an abandoned airport, but you’re trying to shoehorn in lore that never gets mentioned again in the page. That just leaves us with loose ends that don’t get resolved.
Whoa, it’s a forum signature. Ain’t that cool?
I’m waking up to ash and dust
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
I might retract this page to work to make it better as per all of your critiques of this page. And honestly I do appreciate it! I'm not heedless, so I'll keep this up while working on its issues.
I would expand a bit more and create an entry log about how the level fell into disarray. In regards to how breaking a hole in the wall of the Takeoff and Landing building released the entities and what kind of entities we are talking about.
I know its not your fault, but I recently applied for a rewrite of an old concept for Level 212. I just put the finishing touches on the draft today. I go to check the forums and it turns out that it has already been replaced. :(
Due to my feelings on that, I'm not going to vote, as my opinion may get biased.
Just a high schooler who thinks he is good at writing. Likes working on a lot of stuff, ranging from writing for the Backrooms Wiki, to providing critique, and reading. ~ Pen.
"The truth is the truth. What changes is what we know about it and what we're willing to believe."
- Jonathan Maberry, Rot and Ruin
you could also choose another number (idk if this works too)
hi it is me aaron92
I've contacted staff in the forums. Don't know if they'll reply, though.
I still have to get a greenlighter to look at it, and since I can't/don't have access to discord, it'll still be a while before I actually get it posted.
Just a high schooler who thinks he is good at writing. Likes working on a lot of stuff, ranging from writing for the Backrooms Wiki, to providing critique, and reading. ~ Pen.
"The truth is the truth. What changes is what we know about it and what we're willing to believe."
- Jonathan Maberry, Rot and Ruin