Weird how you changed your previously stated in-comment novote into a downvote right after seeing more backlash to the page, and without giving any kind of explanation, but okay.
Sorry, but I dislike this concept very much so. Not bcs it’s another entity for killing, I’m fine with that, but it’s bcs it’s too… generic? First of all, the name is extremely basic. You could have done much better, like giving them a more scientific name, wordplay, or anything else to describe it.
Next, I’m actually making an entity that drowns myself! This isn’t why I downvoted as that would be extremely rude, but you added a very basic horror element (shrouded wet/watery figure drags you in and drowns you.) I kinda see the whole asphyxiation power, but it doesn’t make sense to me. Now ofc anomalous powers are a given, but it seemed to straight to the point.
As for the writing itself, it wasn’t terrible. A few SPaG issues here and there, “without a boot” prolly wasn’t needed, but the main thing was that it was way to short! Short isn’t always bad, but when there are simple entities like this, strive for more detail (that’s necessary, unlike the boot remark). Maybe a log as many people do, witness description, anything! Image finding may be tough, but it couldn’t be too hard to add a closer and maybe front view of Drowners? Maybe underwater?
I’m certain that many people will disagree with me on this, but I stand firmly by my opinion. If you were to fix a few of these and rewrite a good bit, I’m sure you may be able to sway my opinion. Have a nice day!
I exist for the sole purpose of writing this
I especially liked the biology section. Just imagining one of those things with hair hanging from its face unexplainably chasing you as if it was a minecraft mob while seemingly ignoring the plain fact that water reduces human movility is bone-chilling. Even the more after the insinuation near the end that they can come in packs.
+1 From me, hope it doesn't really get deleted.
Too conceptually uninteresting for me to really get into it and the writing was a little iffy at parts.
Maybe I'm a bit biased, since I like Level 230. Nevertheless…
This isn't the most detailed page, but does it really have to be?
I don't think this article is supposed to make you afraid of Drowners. Seems to me that it's not meant to be a flashy or incredibly high-quality article… it's just meant as a modest little piece to flesh out other environments. They're honestly pretty lame enemies, and easy to avoid unless you get cornered by a bunch of them. They seem like an easy, punching bag kinda enemy, and sometimes that's a nice thing to have.
Additionally, it's not as if the article is lacking detail exactly. There's plenty of description about what the entity looks like, what it does, how it kills, how it was discovered.
The one thing I really dislike is the idea that "once observed they started popping up everywhere". That feels a bit too videogame-ish for my liking, although honestly you could come up with a reasonable explanation.
Could the SPaG be tidier? Yes, but it isn't anything egregious.
Could there have been more detail? Maybe a Log for a bit of story, a bit of a scare? Absolutely.
But sometimes you just want a li'l guy to populate the spaces that already exist. And as an addition to Level 230, I think this guy is fitting. He works well with the other hooded characters like Baggers and Porters.
He's just. A smol boy. Minecraft drowned IRL in a raincoat.
Would no-vote, but given the unfair amount of downvotes this has gotten, I'm gonna go against the grain with a +1!
This doesn't do it for me. Apologies.
Concept isn't my favourite, and SPaG isn't the best. Nothing about this page really intrigues me, and as I see it, it has no redeeming factors, thus leading to my downvote.