Level 368 / Discussion
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» Level 368
This is the discussion related to the wiki page Level 368.
I liked:
- Nice theme. Love the zoom on the pic especially.
- Interesting concept.
I did not like:
- SPaG is really not great. Lots of errors ("litered", "and nor does these flames", "spontaniously") that I'm surprised slipped through.
- The "flames of trial" literary thematic idea is introduced in a way that's far too on-the-nose. You seem to have just dumped it entirely into the "Additional Information" section in one chunk, when you could have weaved it more carefully and poetically throughout the article. "Show not tell" is a principle that seems to have been neglected here…
Respect you greatly as an author, but this just ain't doin it for me. Sorry :/
This Level was fire! Pun intended, heh.
- Great sense of liminality.
- Accomplishes a nice immersion feel, even the more if one reads the page using the ambience button.
- Unexpected insinuation near the end, that people's "unnecesary ambitions" get burnt away, which added a really fitting, unique and cool twist.
Overall, Level 368 accomplished being an experience of its own too, and deserves a +1 from me!
Btw, there is one instance in which you made a typo, "into the levelf is believed…" Just so you know.
neat level, but there is a clone of the first image on the third image template
/forum/t-15532254/level-368#post-