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The dialogue at the beginning just kind of killed the article for me. It felt very unrealistic.
I also felt like the ending log was completely unnecessary. The slow scroll is painful to sit through (I ended up just reading the page source instead because of this) and the content itself was fairly unremarkable. It doesn't really give the reader a surprising piece of new info, or even just an expansion on something previously said. It felt like fluff and was a fairly weak way to end the article.
I mean… Don't change anything based on my comments since they are largely subjective. But yeah I'd probably recommend that.
Also the 4th image is the same as Level 42. I recommend changing it.
Oh yeah it is, I'll change it when I have time
levels with environmental hazards are the most interesting for me, and this one goes wild with them!!
cool level +1
When I heard the concept, I was super concerned it was going to be a fandom-esq, nostalgia bait/fake frontrooms type deal. I am so glad the concept is a lot more creative than that.
First, the cons:
I don’t like the dialogue here, there are like three lines in a row that start with yes which is super unrealistic, breathe some life into these characters. The M.E.G ops aren’t robots so feel free to give them unique personalities or dialogue quirks. Level 789 is great example imo. Also not huge on the memory gimmicks or the U.S setting but those are more personal preferences.
And the stuff I like:
I really do like the place you took your initial idea by going absolute ham with the 5e class and coming up with so many unique disasters that can merge. It’s kinda like Monster’s upcoming phenomena article but more balls to the wall. That is what sets it apart from the fandom articles, the creativity that played off the initial concept.
Both sides pull me equally so I’m gonna no vote for now but keep going.
Fantastic concept, ok execution. Still worthy of a +1 though.
yoink_
Don't worry — this will be rewritten, just not right now :>
My other works are currently better than this, like Level 18.1.
I have bad memories of Joplin Tornado… :(
But the article is very good :D