ignoring any of the content to start, this had me downvote by the introduction of the dialogue. the blockquotes definitely were a high of this piece, a different tone of voice you have to learn to adjust to as you read. the introspectiveness added to the character of the piece. The internal monologue, though blocky, almost felt intentionally that way, adding character to the persona of the piece. however, once dialogue was added, i felt every conversation in this piece was rushed and devoid of life. no banter beyond the essentials, no charisma or charm or emotion; just statements interchanged until enough info has passed to the speaker to continue the story with new info in mind. this had few exceptions so a majority of the piece read very linearly. felt boring. (hmu if u wanna know how to add life to dialogue and etc, i have ample experience)
content wise, speaking without the context of the other two pieces, this doesn't hold strong on its own. come at me all you want, i'm a firm believer any piece put on the wiki should be able to survive on its own. i shouldn't be obligated to go to a different page of the wiki just to understand a piece which is meant to be at a caliber for publication on its own. that- that is where i felt you fell off on this piece. introduction of currency to a world with quite literally an anarchist state to it. how does money work here if you can go somewhere else to get everything essential for survival? in a world where any day could be your last, are delicacies and otherwise even desired? i'm sure you had a wonderful reason to add in money with context, but without context, that part reads as "ima add capitalism to a liminal space which is theoretically infinite!!!" that's an ick for me as a reader.
for an interlude, it does what i assume it was meant to (transition from one spot to another in a story while also filling in a necessary plot hole for the other piece which cannot be explained away for one reason or another). none of these characters made me have a reason to care for their existence, which i suppose speaks to the characters as a whole. overall, not to satisfying of a read. -1
