Wow this is a very cool take on the origin of the backrooms! I quite enjoyed the creatively chosen writing style and world building (pun not intended). Overall I'm giving this an upvote.
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+1 what can I even say
- random bitch on wikidot
What it does right:
- Good voice.
- Extremely solid concept.
- Good/great images.
What it misses on:
- Overly long.
Strong imagery, but the imagery only seems to imply creation.
You've got a heavily industrial setting, a cradle of creation here, but it's not bustling with life, not frantically abuzz with making the "sundries". We see, in sterile slideshow, how a room is made; we see, only by the furniture, how this place is lived in; but the creatures inhabiting this aren't called The How It's Mades, they're called The Almosts! Why don't we see them at their stations, making things, breaking things, trying and failing? Always close but never quite there, constantly fiddling?
TL;DR: If you describe a machine, have it being used. A big conveyor belt which just sits there is nothing; a big conveyor shuttling almond water into Blue Channel is everything.
While the narrator's voice is good, they're the only voice we really hear; less of them talking, more descriptions of those big hulking machines while they're being used.
- Lacking presentation
- Css is fine, could be better.
- Some central, big-moment images are as small as simple set-dressing images. The creation of the orbs being offset on alternating sides is cool but it distracts from the fact This Is A Big Moment. Those images should be centered and huge.
- On the flipside, what's that chair doing centered and big?
- Text formatting is really confusing. I don't know why some text is outside blocks and why some is inside. Transitioning between the two on seemingly innocuous passages is disorienting. It feels chained to semi-traditional Backrooms formatting; break it. It's not doing you any good.
I'd upvote it with some work, but for now I can't say it lives up to its full potential. It's just fine.
(account deleted)An origin of the Backrooms, and reality itself, has finally been found?!
BROOGLI, GET OVER HERE!
Welcome to the Lemon Zone! :D
Hello, I'm mainly going to be posting on the Backrooms Wikidot, since I have a few ideas for a level I want to make!
Gender: Questioning | Pronouns: she/they | Zodiac: Leo | Birthday: July 30th | Hobbies: YouTube, reading, writing stories, watching television, etc. | Sexuality: Aro-ace |
So, what were those amalgamates thinking when they made level run! ?
And holy moly if that thing were real i would have created some realities myself
/forum/t-14169492/the-world-factory#post-