From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
this line would look better with either a double dash added in the beginning or a period at the end, depending on how you want to play it. would look like one of the following
— From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
in its current state it kinda looks like it should be continuing into another sentence or something, despite Not, so that's why i suggest adding some kind of punctuation to make it seem more like a standalone line
… never felt anything except wounds under the armor have you?
given the tense and previous wording of this sentence, i recommend changing the bit that says "armor have you?" to something along the lines of "armor, haven't you?"
… over one of her best friends corpse…
would be friend's, since the friend in question is singular and the s seemed to be intended to be a possessive addon
… taking a quick peak…
should be "peek" instead
… bottom of her Spaghettio's bowl…
as weird as it may look, the apostrophe here isn't actually grammatically correct lol, removal suggested
Diana walks hers and Natasha's plate…
a tiny bit of wonky wording here, i suggest editing to remove the s in "hers" and make "plate" plural
… quantum particles of the backrooms.
given that "backrooms" is a proper noun in the site's setting, i would capitalize any instances of the term
… timelines along the headspace.
same thing as the last note
… unknown wind, has lost it's hue.
it's —> its, given that you wouldn't be saying "has lost it is hue"
… several inches within it's…
it's —> its
… from the Red Knights sword…
should be "Red Knight's sword"
… directly into the Black Knights heart.
same thing here, should be "Black Knight's heart"
summary: that's most of the grammar stuff i noted! other stuff was noted by kai and seemingly fix'd, so have fun with these bad boys. if you have any questions feel free to message me through wikidot or thru discord. have a nice one!
