Hi guys! It’s me, the author! I’m kinda nervous, first time posting an article, but I am glad to say, it won’t be the last!
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Take ur +1
While there's a few SPaG errors that kind of get in the way of reading this article, and the execution is a little messy, it was entertaining, and in the end that's all that really matters, so +1
Great job at a first article. I do agree with Kitty Rika that there could be some improvements! If you ever feel like touching this article up…
Conceptually, these guys seem a little too OP as a food source. I think you would do well to elaborate on their downsides a little too! For example:
- Only found on Level 10 (have to get to them first). Maybe only in a specific spot in Level 10?
- Can’t store a clump for too long in an enclosed space, as they spontaneously generate more worms, and will crowd out the storage area with worms (eww)
- Live worms can escape! Gotta bring a closed box or jar.
- Cooked worms spoil like regular meat
or what as I like to call it
The M.E.G are just some ragtag group of people, do we really have to have a specific format for this shit? Whatever..
This is a little heavy-handed and unnatural, and the grammar is funky. Do note that an ellipsis should have three dots! I suggest:
The M.E.G are just some ragtag group of people, d. Do we really have to have use a specific format for this shit? Whatever...
I recognize you might prefer to leave the formatting gritty to complement the vibe of the guy submitting it. But neater formatting might be easier for readers to look at too. I suggest:
- Use slightly larger headers for description/behavior. ++ seems proportionate, rather than +++.
- Put begin log and end log in teletype text, {{like this}}. It’ll look like this which is cooler. Have the names in bold. Also, separate with a horizontal rule (5 dashes), like so:
BEGIN LOG
Joe Mama: Log yada yada yada
END LOG
That looks neater, doesn’t it?
- Neaten your recipes into quote blocks. For example:
Recipe 1: Skewered worms
Step 1: Take three worms of each colour and stick them on a skewer. Place one green worm in between other colours.
Step 2: Repeat Step 1 to prepare as many skewers as you like.
Step 3: Roast the skewers over an open fire for roughly 10-15 minutes.
Serve: Eat them hot! 2-3 skewers serve one person.
That’s all I got! Nice work!
i can assure you this will become twin fingers 2.0
it IS going to happen
+1 yummy gummy
I was anticipating it to go "Oh crap, turns out the gummies are evil and controlling our bodies!" but it didn't happen, guess that was the biggest plot twist of them all!
I'm gonna upvote for the cute and helpful gummy bears that turned out to be actually good.
"I’m getting tired of finding things that kill you if you glance at them."
Relatable.