Question about the boneless victims
The Backrooms has the habit of keeping people alive against impossible odds, so I wonder: do the victims show signs of life after being made boneless before being eaten?
Entity 121 - The Bone Thieves / Discussion
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» Entity 121 - The Bone Thieves
This is the discussion related to the wiki page Entity 121 - The Bone Thieves.
Nope, they die instantly.
imagine getting called a lethargic sloth
+1, way better then my own entity 121 (only called that on the reddit post)
(these guys are the bone hurting juice)
complement my pfp please
I really enjoyed the concept and overall description of the entity itself, as well as the drawing. Despite a number of logical inconsistencies and such, the description of your article is pretty solid. The thing that caused me to downvote is the number of spag errors in this article. While normally one or two spag errors wouldn't interfere too much with reading, this article is riddled with them, and in some places there's at least one in every sentence.
The flesh within its maw is slick, colored hauntingly close to Vantablack as any texture definition cannot be viewed.
The flesh within their maws is slick, colored hauntingly close to Vantablack, as any texture definition cannot be viewed.
This is an example of a sentence with multiple spag errors, and there are lots more in the sentences around it.
This overall makes the article very hard and jarring to get through, and turns it from an enjoyable experience to an unenjoyable one. I strongly suggest double-checking grammar, especially plurality/singularity agreements and problems with subjects. Other than that, though, it's a good article that's just unfortunately ruined by the amount of spag errors. Once these are fixed, this page would deserve and upvote, though.
I appreciate the critique however I would appreciate it more if specifics were explained to me instead of stating their presence without any suggestions as to fix said errors.
Well after looking it up it is what I thought it was this person is talking about "SpellingPunctationAndGrammer" errors.
They actually did show what changes needed to be made in that sentence (which still hasn't been done) although it's pretty easy to miss I know I did as well.
The two I could discern were an extra comma denoting that the part in between is extra info to the full sentence around.
Secondly, the more esoteric grammar-related one is changing it to their idk if this is correct but if it is I assume it's some weird English grammar rule probably revolving around the manner in which the sentences are done. I also noticed while writing this they also made maw plural which I can't really tell anything about the reasoning for probably something to do with the usage of the word since I'm not really a writer and the maw or maws of a creature isn't a common everyday thing to discuss for myself.
The idea is interesting, but the execution feels overall lacking. From how their skin remains so strong, to the very nature of feeding or basic anatomy, too many "unknowns" are brought up, making it feel like a cope-out. In-lore, it makes complete sense for M.E.G. to not know every detail of the entity, but crafting one that deliberately is riddled with so many of these unknowns makes it difficult to feel particularly interested. And with all those unknowns, the rest of the entity feels rather unrealistic. It can't be killed it seems, and it does next to nothing to actually feed. Also, the anatomy (or, what little of it we're told of) makes no sense on a basic level. Why does it have eyes in its mouth— a grimy place where they're likely to get damaged? I've found nothing that actually makes me want to read further.
I'd suggest reworking it to not rely so heavily on unknown variables, and perhaps indulge on its ability to remove the bones of entities in its sight. Maybe it could be covered in eyes to capitalize on this ability?
Also, what's with the font?
(Also, if I've misunderstood, feel free to tell me)
I just like the font, that's it.
I wanted there to be an unknown, it's not supposed to be realistic, the eyes are in its mouth because it has no eyelids to keep them moist. It's a chad, bacteria and viruses ain't shit to it.
I love the bone thieves with all of my heart. I don't care that they would eat me if they were feeling a little hungry, they remind me of cats and I want to hug them so badly. Thank you for the blessing that are these silly, squishy potatoes :]
/forum/t-14116693/entity-121-the-bone-thieves#post-
