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Aaaand it's done! My entity 18 rewrite, those on the discord know i've been really excited to finally have this up and finished ^_^ really hope i did this entity justice with his rewrite, and i hope you guys enjoy what i've done with him!
special thanks to:
congrats on getting this featured. the world needs to know more about the hottie of level 5, +1
hi.
"the hottie of level 5" ~ Makaraig, 2021
Capitalism strikes again!
I'm justice!…What?…No not the blind folded girl!
Was going to no-vote, but the parallels to The Devil (aka The Beast!) are too clever for me to not +1 (like seriously "The Beast of Level 5" being basically The Devil instead of a literal beast is so clever). Anyway, here is some constructive criticism:
So, it's a good entity, but it just feels like you could have done so much more with it. This first half is excellent. You did a great job of creating a character, and establishing the "you should not trust this man-squid" thing without ever having to actually say anything. But that's just like three paragraphs. The second half though, was kind of eh. Like, you did such a good job in the first half of show-don't-telling us that he's sketchy, and I feel like you don't need a whole "DO NOT TRUST HIM" section to hammer it in. I think it would have been better if you dropped the second half, and instead either used that time to lean into the types of ideas you were exploring in the first half more, or made the second half into a more compelling story than four short paragraphs of "HE IS ACTUALLY EVIL".
That being said though, it's still a more solid article than most of the entity list, so it's a +1 from me.
yeah, totally get where you're coming from with that, lol. i wasn't quite sure with that part myself, though other people seemed to like it/not mind it so honestly i'll probably give it a revision sometime in the future. thanks for the feedback! ^_^ (also: glad someone picked up on the parallels hehe)
Honestly, I love the way the writers went about this!! The added intelligence and manipulation of this entity is very clever! +1
You got a License for saying Bri'ish?
I'm justice!…What?…No not the blind folded girl!
I did not understand, what is the beast of the 5th floor
agreed. we should make a petition to make him an actual tumblr sexyman. /j
tis' ya boy.. liquid mcgee. Don't ask how I got here.
(account deleted)
