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the new most convoluted way to detect a skin stealer:
I cannot stress enough how this needed more work.
You double did your header, your rating module was missing, your author module was incorrectly formatted, the SPaG errors I saw were evident. The best part of this was the concept, which I will admit was very interesting, but the concept flopped.
:/ -1
~~~🐜Ant boi baby🐜~~~
;-; this hurts. please tell me where the SPaG errors are and i'll fix em. i don't know what you mean by author module incorrectly formatted, I know nothing about css. Please help me here, you know i'm new to writing
[[Placeholder, will get back to this shortly]]
Howdy! Am here to drop critio.
Memory Jars are glass jars that are regularly empty. This is their deactivated state.
Starting off your work like this is pretty bad to do. That's a stub sentence which also doesn't help to begin the article.
If a wanderer dies possessing a Memory Jar, their memories will appear as small spheres inside the jar, and the Memory Jar enters their activated state.
phrased wrong, also comes in like a train.
The colour of these spheres vary depending on the ex-holder's personality.
Phrased shortly, stands out.
Your description needs work. It is only three sentences, and doesn't clinically tell me what to look out for. It doesn't help me identify it from other liquids before hand, doesn't tell me what happens should you open them, doesn't tell me much at all. Needs work.
Not gonna go line by line for each jar, as they all are written SPaG wise correctly, however, I will note that having a different section for every color is unnecessary should you wish to keep these as short as you do. Define the differences between these jars, as some blur within each other.
The M.E.G speculates there are other colours of Memory Jar, but are undocumented.
Why? This part can ultimately be omitted, it clinically is incorrect, and promoted hesitance.
If memories were inserted into a computer system, the memories would be saved as videos in a new folder labelled "Memories of the late
[name of ex-holder]".
Really explain how this works. This is a liquid, how in the hell would it be plugged into a computer.
Deactivated Memory Jars are sold as mementos. They can also be found randomly inside The Memory. The B.N.T.G sell and trade Memory Jars to wanderers.
incorrect "to", very short for a whole header.
General Thoughts: This article is quite short, which is fine, but the way you format it isn't very good at all, and promotes giant documentation, which doesn't fit what you are doing. The concept is fairly decent, so don't change much of that. However, make this have more depth, add more detail, and make it formatted so it looks how it is: a short article for a simple, yet interesting, concept.
Yellow out!
~~~🐜Ant boi baby🐜~~~
Me and the boys collecting weird jars of light to decorate our rooms with
i am not the best at writing tbh. this article of mine is… pretty awful. i might give it a rewrite when i have time.
update; been working on the rewrite, should be done soon!
ok so i made that rewrite, several months ago in fact, but i honestly can't be bothered getting it greenlit to be honest, considering i basically have no interest in the wikidot anymore. if anyone wants to have a look, i'll link it here. http://backrooms-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/mysandboxpagesareunorganisedlmao
disregard
Shawty you never needed a greenlight to rewrite your own stuff
i'm basically done with this article, nothing much to say. "The Memory" mentioned in the article was going to be the level where mjr's would be naturally found. this was never written, and i probably never will write it. also have rewritten the article, even if my rewrite is bad, it's probably better than what we had before.
This article is a little short, which normally I wouldn't like, but I think it hits the right spot for a short article, mainly because its interesting, unlike many other short articles. I like it.
I love the article, though what happens if the holder of the jar swallowed a memory?
(account deleted)