Need Critique?
To get critique, you can go to one of four possible sources:
- Via the #critique channel of our Discord server
- Via one of our Critters
- Our forums
- The Subreddit
Need Critique?
Forum
» Writing Help / Help: Draft Critique
» Need Critique?
Summary:
Where to solicit critique
A couple of corrections!
- Visit the #sandbox-critique for draft critique, as there's no #critique anymore.
- Critters (greenlighters) are listed on the greenlight policy page.
- We don't really use the Subreddit for critique anymore.
Everything related to greenlights (getting your draft approved) is listed on this page!
My forum hasn't got a lot of recognition since the first 2 people who look at it, anyways here's the forum post: http://backrooms-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-15077012/seeking-greenlight-and-critique-level-idea:level-179-the-lazy-river
:)
BiohazardMon
I was asking for critique and putting the link to my daft and then I realized I wasn't supposed to put it here. But I can't delete this so I just edited it to explain where is just a random post. Sorry.
You gotta post that in your own thread.
ok Where do I ask for reviews?
I would private message greenlighters if they're ok with that, if not, DM them on Discord.
Not all Greenlighters like DM's on Discord (me, for example). Please be sure to read our Greenlight Policy and our #greenlighter-profiles in the Discord server.
Finding the Forgotten, Mending the Found.
You can also post it under a new thread on this forum
~🌱
A new author here with my first level. It isn't completely done, but close to it. Any ideas or help?
http://backrooms-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/iamalemon
I exist for the sole purpose of writing this
(account deleted)Have A nice day.
_Drmarcussir (1)_
Wrong post. Post this under a new thread, please!
~🌱
http://backrooms-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/will-ross
thank youuu!
http://backrooms-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/ashquajuzu
can someone say me if its good?
This needs a lot of work. First off, just remove the code for the image if you aren't gonna have an image. It's completely unnecessary.
Second off, you need to work on establishing a better tone here. At many points you write in an informal way but the page has nothing that indicates it to be of anything other than a clinical tone. You should remove all uses of personal pronouns and not use words like "till" as they are informal slang (assuming you meant until here and not "To prepare (land) for the raising of crops, as by plowing and harrowing; cultivate.". If you did mean the second thing there's the whole alternate problem of that making no sense in the context of the statement.
The page also has little to no content within it. Each section is like..a few paragraphs which most of the time barely go into describing the content. The biggest offender here is the sapling portion which does not describe a single thing about them. You should not be turning these into a separate page. Place information about the saplings within the original page because otherwise there will be no available context for them. Getting one page greenlit is hard enough and 2 is going to be a nightmare. Just, put a description of the saplings within the entities section instead of making a separate page.
In terms of concept here, the concept here is lacking. It's very much so just a plane of grass with little else to illicit interest within the reader. A lot of conceptual elements aren't explained and the ones that do get explained are explained poorly or otherwise contain no drastically interesting conceptual elements. Try to find a stronger conceptual voice for the page so it isn't just a location from the frontrooms in the backrooms with some mildly dangerous entities. What if every plant in the level is alive in different various civilizations? What if these plant civilizations are at war with one another and the level is like a battleground between them? Different sections of the level could be controlled by different plants and you could give the page interesting content by going into detail about the civilizations and the war and maybe even creating complexity through the writing of complex political relationships or whatever else. If you don't want to do that, as it would probably take a lot of effort (or you just think it's a stupid concept which is fair),
what if you focused in on the idea of "blood growing grass" and made that into a central horror element? Maybe the level itself is powered by blood and flesh, like a twisted farm that kills people and then uses the flesh and blood from those people to grow further and produce the plants. Maybe even have a serial killer human character who aids the plant's growth by "tilling" the fields with victims. Then, just try to portray the idea without outright stating it and or wait until the end of the page to state it by throwing in narrative elements which slowly reveal more truth about what is going on in the level, and boom, the concept would be pretty decent if not good. (personally, I think this is better than the first idea but go with whatever you want or hell go with neither although probably change the concept in some way)
I have a few questions regarding the Idea forum and Draft forum threads.
So is the Idea forum where you recieve greenlights or the Draft forum? Or both? Are both also for critic?
Do I need to contact a reviewer regarding critic and greenlighting? And finally, are people who aren't reviewers able to critic the draft/idea?
Just a high schooler who thinks he is good at writing. Likes working on a lot of stuff, ranging from writing for the Backrooms Wiki, to providing critique, and reading. ~ Pen.
"The truth is the truth. What changes is what we know about it and what we're willing to believe."
- Jonathan Maberry, Rot and Ruin
Greenlight is draft cause thats where all the finished sandboxes are
contacting is a good way to get crit/greenlight
Yes, they can critic and review but not greenlight
I'm justice!…What?…No not the blind folded girl!
I assume unfinished drafts can receive criticism here also.
Just a high schooler who thinks he is good at writing. Likes working on a lot of stuff, ranging from writing for the Backrooms Wiki, to providing critique, and reading. ~ Pen.
"The truth is the truth. What changes is what we know about it and what we're willing to believe."
- Jonathan Maberry, Rot and Ruin
I need critique and possibly a green light for my draft levels.
http://backrooms-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/dr-swc
http://backrooms-sandbox-2.wikidot.com/dr-swc-second-draft-level
/forum/t-13412309/need-critique#post-