"Bury me somewhere quiet, somewhere away from heaven's eyes"
— Intimate by Jacinto Angelito
11 years have passed and the subtle impact of Jacinto's works still lives on.
Art from Jacinto's debut album, Pantomina. Credits to M. E. S. C.
Sun May 16 2021 10:23 A.M (GMT+8)
Entity 186 - The Hotel
Today marks the 11th death anniversary of the indie rock singer and songwriter Jacinto Angelito. Jacinto's quiet but charged vocals paired up with the riff-heavy instrumentals of their debut album, Pantomina, has made them a well-known name in rock OPM circles. This re-ignited buzz on Jacinto's body of work and their life up to their death.
Jacinto, The Singer
"I'm glad to have finished my swan song, and I am glad to share this final hurrah with you all," Jacinto captioned with the release of their last album, Half-eaten Whale. The album received praise by critics and fans alike. "Jacinto loves music, and it can be seen in their careful album sequencing, though they also hate music, and it can be heard in the gritty and slowly dying sounds of the songs in Half-eaten Whale; it's like a song about loving your ex." E. Soliman writes in his review of the album, released within the week of Jacinto's 11th death anniversary.
Jacinto's works do not shy away from honesty and intimacy with the audience. In Half-eaten Whale's opening song Gayuma, Jacinto opens with a sigh as if they were about to confess. "Only you, Only you, Only you" repeats as the chorus of Gayuma, and the song ends with a frustrated piano mash, a confession that they were done with music. The fifth song, Jaws, talks about perception and how other's will try to write your personhood for you. "All I can feel is you taking my entirety, my whole being, eaten with no mercy" is sung with the fading instrumental until the final line: "This is all the heaven that's reserved for me".
What remains of the Half-eaten Whale
Many people have linked Half-eaten Whale to the artist's mental health, citing it as a sort of sign of repressed and deep suffering that the artist feels. Even now, 11 years later, this sentiment is still shared by new and old fans alike. In one of Jacinto's last interviews a month after the release of their final album, they talk about the buzz and sensationalism that the themes of their album had gotten.
"It's very frustrating." The singer explains. "To the eyes of everyone around me, even those in this room — I am more than just some artist, but unfortunately that's just what I am." In this interview, Jacinto came out from their supposed quiet retirement from music to be honest with their fans and critics in a way that cannot be consumed easily through song.
When asked about their reaction to the reception of their work throughout the years they had this to say:
"I'm food to these people, eaten and digested for them to feel good about themselves. Of course, I am very thankful for those who really connect with my work, hell, I have had long conversations with fans who felt seen for the first time because a miserable transmasc decided to pick up a guitar one day and turn their poetry into songs. Yet, I still do not like how my art has been received throughout the years.
I am aware of how people see me, how I'm a figure of praise. 'A successful trans artist! Where do you ever see that?', that's one of the things I've heard about me.
The worst part is that I can't do much about it, stuff is just like this, but I'm somewhat hopeful. One day someone will replace me and they will be treated better but for now I think I'm done with music. I love writing and I will most likely pursue that but now I think I need to step down from my platform."
Despite all of that, the sensationalism of their work and their death are still talked about even a decade later. Many media critics have written and talked about the phenomena around the sensationalism of Jacinto's legacy, describing the attention as misplaced.
Jacinto, The Person
It has been 11 years since the car crash that killed Jacinto Angelito and while it is very apparent that their work has become timeless with Jacinto's craftmanship and skill in music, the person and artist themselves is unknown.
Not much is known about Jacinto's personal life and why they decided to quit music other than their last interview before their death. After the funeral of the artist, their family have ceased all communication with the media and the family of Jacinto's late boyfriend.
In that last interview, Jacinto also opens up about the struggles they faced throughout their music career:
"I guess I was happy, and I still somewhat am but I wasn't really happy for myself. I was mostly happy for the people that loved what I did and I kept that in mind throughout my time as a singer and songwriter. I kept remembering that like a mantra in my head through the burnout and struggle.
I had a hard time seeing myself as not just some musician but as a person too. A friend of mine had jokingly called me one of those tortured artist types, and well I didn't laugh because he wasn't really wrong in that sense.
I didn't want to keep that drone of depression and fatigue around me anymore, it would have been better if I set my sights on other things you know? That's why I'm here, to clear stuff up essentially."
With all of the art Jacinto has created and shared with artists and listeners alike, it is good to remember that behind every sensation and every remembered artist is a person. Hopefully in another 11 years, Jacinto will be remembered as a writer and person who loved what they have made.
