Info
When you start to forget about me… look into your past, and you'll see a me-shaped hole. Alright?
database……… the idea that the site is in-universe is popular, but it's not universal anymore and now it's quite muddled about with. we've got the "general public database" idea, the "this is the m.e.g. database" idea, and of course the (in my opinion very booooring) "this is just! a wiki! on wikidot.com and it's like not an existant thing in universe :3"
i wanted to make sense of how the m.e.g. had a database lol like whaaaat how did they do that how did that one self insert do that woah
i wanna clarify for a second that me writing a tale about isle is not an endorsement of etoisle, obviously. nostalgi gaius lore is a part of the site as a whole and i had a good idea for something to add to it, that's all. so. don't @ me i guess. not the first isle content since the ban either. really, i would like to do what i did with overseer a renaming from stretch —> justin………… i just don't have any good ideas for an e isle rename yet. but i'd love for us to do one as a wiki to kind of move on but leave the lore in tact.
oh and the font is unscii go check it out. the weird glyphs i used are valid unicode characters from either the box drawing block or the characters for legacy computing semigraphics block
by your local faceless scutoid studios.
I know. But this isn't just for me and you, it's for everyone.
We might get separated. Maybe forever.
Don't forget about me, alright?
When you start to forget about me… look into your past, and you'll see a me-shaped hole. Alright?
Remember.
～ Kat
Another day, another… another day. That was all, really, life just kept going and going and going and going for a-river in hir position as the senior archivist of the M.E.G... even though, to hir, it felt as though it had stopped completely.
T██╗ ███╗ H██████╗ E██████╗
████╗ ████║ ██╔════╝ ██╔════╝
██╔████╔██║ █████╗ ██║ ███╗
██║╚██╔╝██║ ██╔══╝ ██║ ██║
██║ ╚═╝ ██║██╗███████╗██╗╚██████╔╝██╗
╚═╝ ╚═╝╚═╝╚══════╝╚═╝ ╚═════╝ ╚═╝
M A J O R══E X P L O R E R══G R O U P
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
╟┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╢
║🮀🮼🯁🯂🯃 WELCOME TO THE DATABASE INFRASTRUCTURE PANEL ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ ║
║ ┈┈┈┈ Required Credentials: 🮲🮳 TECH-2 ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈ ║
╟┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╢
║ ║
║ ⮞ PLEASE LOGIN WITH CREDENTIALS: ║
║ YOUR USERNAME: the-a-river ║
║ YOUR PASSWORD: *************** ║
║ ║
║ ║
║ ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ [POWER OFF] [> LOG IN] ║
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
Entering hir password was more than just muscle memory these days. Hir hands felt purpose-built for clawing and clacking at the keys — ze imagined hirself pulling the keycaps right out and revealing the pure unadulterated data underneath. It was those types of thoughts that made hir feel like a drone. One with a remote control buried in the sofa.
Ze had tabbed over to the LOG IN button, but hir hands froze into marble before ze could press enter. Hir train of thought no-clipped and landed on the tangentially related memory of hir teenage life on the web back home (though home wasn't one of hir favourite words). Hir old username was "islandshelly" — and what a great username it was, it served hir quite well. From forum to forum ze used to bounce, ze remembered again those fond memories messaging from dawn to dusk, how they used to think hir real name was Shelly, and how much joy it brought hir to—! Ah. Ze was supposed to be working.
After that trip to heaven last month, this nostalgia business happened to hir at least once an hour. Ze already had some sort of undiagnosed executive function problem before entering the Backrooms, and this just added to hir problems getting work done. Truthfuly, ze felt like ripping hir memories out with a toothpick.
Ze changed hir username on the database from "islandshelly" to "the-a-river" the other day to stop hir teenage self screaming in hir microphone.
To hir, nostalgia was like… if you had a favourite program your motherboard used to run you, but you'd cut off your power supply with your manufacturer ID due to major incompatibilities of your SAMEORIGIN policies and now, though you still loved her, you could never really enjoy it again.
Ze pressed enter. Was everything normal again? Ze pretended it was.
║ YOUR PASSWORD: *************** ║
║ ║
║ ║
║ ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ [POWER OFF] [> LOG IN] ║
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
==> LOGGING IN.............................................Success!
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
╟┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╢
║🮀🮼🯁🯂🯃 Welcome, A. RIVER ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ How can I help you? ║
╟┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╢
║ ║
║ ⮞ USE NUMBER KEYS TO SELECT: ║
║ ╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮ ║
║ ┊ [1] Edit Page Categories ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌┤ ┊ ║
║ ┊ [2] View A Category's Spreadsheet ╌┤ ┊ ║
║ ┊ [3] Mass Edit Pages (text) ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌┤ ┊ ║
║ ┊ [4] Mass Edit Pages (regular exp.) ┤ ┊ [Press 9 for help] ║
║ ┊ [5] View Flagged Pages ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌┤ ┊ ║
║ ┊ [6] Manage CDN Settings ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌┤ ┊ ║
║ ┊ [7] Manage Users & IP Adresses ╌╌╌╌┤ ┊ ║
║ ╰┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╯ ║
║ ║
║ ║
║ ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ [8] LOG OUT ║
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
What was ze doing again?
Oh, right. The M.E.G. had, years ago, used the term 'Colonies and Outposts' as a heading in their level template to designate human communities. This was changed to 'Bases, Communities and Outposts' for a variety of reasons. Good reasons, probably. Ze didn't… remember why? What?
Ze did know why, it was hir decision in the first place. There was just… some fog in the way. What did it matter? Ze knew what job had to be done… so that meant everything was fine. Just a simple mass edit. Didn't even need a regular expression to pull off, which was a good thing because ze didn't know if ze was grounded enough to construct a regular expression.
Ze could see the data right before hir eyes. It was all there. All of it. Just… needed to edit it. Mass edit it. Right now. Alright.
║ ╰┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╯ ║
║ ║
║ ║
║ ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ [8] LOG OUT ║
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
╟┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╢
║🮀🮼🯁🯂🯃 Welcome, A. RIVER ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ Mass Edit Pages (text) ║
╟┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╢
║ ║
║ ║
║ ⮞ REPLACE TEXT OVER A RANGE OF PAGES: ║
║ ╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮ ║
║ ┊ Range Of Pages: ┊ ║
║ ┊ CATEGORY:enig-level,level ┊ ║
║ ┊ ┊ ║
║ ┊ Text to Replace: ┊ [Press 9 for help] ║
║ ┊ Find: Colonies and Outposts ┊ ║
║ ┊ Replace: Bases, Communities and ┊ ║
║ ┊ Outposts ┊ ║
║ ╰┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╯ ║
║ ║
║ ║
║ ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ [CANCEL] [LOG OUT] [> APPLY] ║
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
Ze pressed apply, and began to think back again…
Back in the early days, nobody knew what to do about the M.E.G.'s stacks of paper. They had built up an immense archive of level, entity, object and even phenomena pages. Stacks and stacks and stacks and stacks and stacks of documents scrawled by Overseer-A himself. Ze just knew him as "Justin".
This archive became difficult to manage, ffffffragmented and stack overflowing out of the realm of reasonable searchability. That's when ze discovered a technological breakthrough — the General Public Database.
The database was accessible via any device in the Backrooms. Why? There was something uniquely digital about this place. Something fundamental. Although ze now knows why, hir lost love was syntax error near `🮲🮳🯃🮳🮳🮲🯁🯁🯂🯃🯁🯂🯃🯃🮳🮲` back then. Ze wished she still was.
Ze came up with the database infrastructure hirself. Master admin — hir dream as a computer scientist… well, ze was no professional, but it was still hir dream through and through. THE dream. And ze did a damn good job.
Ze was pulled back to the present by hir collar when the mass edit finished running. It had been an hour of reminiscing. Fuck.
Ze wanted to check that the top rated pages were still alright. When had ze last checked the top page ratings..? Maybe it would be interesting.
║ ╰┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╯ ║
║ ║
║ ║
║ ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ [8] LOG OUT ║
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
╟┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╢
║🮀🮼🯁🯂🯃 Welcome, A. RIVER ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ Top Rated Documentation ║
╟┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╢
║ ║
║ ║
║ ╔═══════════╤═══════════════════════╤══════════════╤════════╗ ║
║ ║ Level 0 ┆ Rate +844 (+880, -36) ┆ Length 5656 ┆ [Link] ║ ║
║ ╟┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄╢ ║
║ ║ Level 404 ┆ Rate +341 (+372,-31) ┆ Length 7236 ┆ [Link] ║ ║
║ ╟┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄╢ ║
║ ║ Level 1 ┆ Rate +298 (+317, -19) ┆ Length 5386 ┆ [Link] ║ ║
║ ╟┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄╢ ║
║ ║ Level 11 ┆ Rate +212 (+242, -30) ┆ Length 15221 ┆ [Link] ║ ║
║ ╟┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┼┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄╢ ║
║ ║ Entity 3 ┆ Rate +195 (+210, -15) ┆ Length 2946 ┆ [Link] ║ ║
║ ║
║ ║
║ ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ [LOG OUT] [> CANCEL] ║
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
Oh no. Nononononono. Why was she there. Wh— why was it rated so highly??
People should hate this article, they should hate her. If they didn't…
If you wanted to catch a human being mind, what would you fashion the trap from?
Nostalgi Gaius found the answer—a gilded cage made of thorns and memories.
shut up shut UP! I restricted it! I told them to lock the archive!
A set of infinitely shareable pages.
Why did I even…
～ Kat
…It was her who I did it for
It was her all along. Who even is she..? She's… Justin's sister? He said he remembered her being his sister. That he missed her. That he loved her. When they were apart, he—
This doesn't line up.
The Kat I know is from ancient times. She knew stories of gods from that time, true stories which I've verified to the best of my ability. I know this is true, I know she's an ancient, and I know that she can't be Justin's sister
He talked to me like somebody who had been to 200, only when he talked about her, and only when she was gone. Kat…
In heaven…
It was her
burn my fucking boNo. I'm done here
║ ║
║ ║
║ ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ [8] LOG OUT ║
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
╟┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╢
║🮀🮼🯁🯂🯃 Welcome, MEG-B ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ Personnel File - A. River ║
╟┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╢
║ ║
║ One month after hir return from level ╔═════════════════════╗ ║
║ 404, River disappeared without ║
║ ║║ explanation from hir workstation in ║ ║ ║
║ Base Omega, leaving behind only flat, ║ ║ ║
║ intersecting visual artifacts with a ║ ║ ║
║ similar appearance to hir ║ ║ ║
║ photographic anomaly. M.E.G. ╟┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╢ ║
║ personnel are respectfully advised ║ A current photo of ║ ║
║ not to approach these artifacts; ║ River's workstation.║ ║
║ consequently, River's workstation ╚═════════════════════╝ ║
║ remains vacant ║
║ ║
║ ║
║ ╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌╌ [LOG OUT] [> CANCEL] ║
╚═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝